Looking Pro is a delicate art rife with paradox and enigma. Aesthetics in a sport as difficult as cycling is itself a contradiction; surely anything wrought with such suffering should be driven by function and function alone. Yet cyclists are both some of the hardest people in sport and the most vain. For a cyclist knows better than perhaps any other athlete that Morale is a fickle beast that lives upon a knife’s edge; it can drive us on to incredible heights yet squash us at will like an insect for little more than spotting grime on a freshly laundered jersey or dirt on the bar tape. In order for us to ride well, we must have good Morale. In order to have good Morale, we must look Fantastic.
The argument could be made that the best way to improve your riding is to meditate extensively on Rule #5; some might even suggest that aesthetics dilute it’s purity. On the surface, that may be a seductive thing to believe, but it ignores the single most important fact of cycling: looking Fantastic is the best anesthetic available. Just imagine how you looked there, standing on the pedals, dishing out The V. I was magnificent and didn’t feel a thing; I looked Pro.
Along with the vital The Three Point System, mastering the art of being Casually Deliberate is one of the key principles to Looking Pro. A professional gives the impression of having been born on their bicycle; they are one with their machine. When riding, their Magnificent Stroke exudes grace and power. Movements on the bicycle are deliberate yet effortless. Standing, sitting, climbing, cornering – rider and machine form a cohesive union.
Even when not riding, the Professional exudes an air of calm. Sitting across the top tube, the rider rests easy, precisely familiar with the movements of their loyal machine, trusting in the motion and balance. The bicycle is as familiar and connected to the rider as the very air they breathe.
In your quest to master the art of the Casually Deliberate, keep these pointers in mind:
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@Adam
You should have seen the looks I got when I sat up free handed in the middle of a briskly moving paceline and pulled a camera out of my back pocket and started taking pictures.
Speaking as someone who has worked in television for 20+ years that film had me literally weeping in admiration.
Absolutely perfect - a sublime match between content and commentary.
'All friction must be reduced to a minimum'... You could do worse for a life mantra.
It's a sad indictment of modern television that leaving 20 seconds without any voiceover, just mild effects, seems to be a radical innovation.
Got any more like that ?
@Pedalo.Forchetta, @Frank: Forza Coppi! Now that is how to look cool off the bike. Apparently, Coppi always appears in sunglasses in photos as he was terrified/paranoid about sunlight inflaming his conjunctivitis... whatever, doesn't half make him Look Fantastic, though. Great photos, great lighting.. and Frank, awesome article.
@Jarvis
I think slacks and a sportcoat with an open collar is a perfectly fine look. Tailoring is everything. Show a little shirt cuff at the bottom of the jacket sleeve. Good shoes--Italian loafers (Are there any other kind?).
I haven't quite come up with the "ride to watch a race" attire. Something keeps eating at me about that. I've watched enough bike races and seen enough people standing on the side of the road in full kit and cycling shoes. Merckx forbid, I don't think I can recommend anyone actually ride a bike to watch a bike race. Walk, ride a Vespa or Ducati, take the ski lift, use a tourist bus, park three days early in a caravan. These forms of transportation allow one to dress with aplomb, grace, dignity, and style.
Oooh, wow. I love this idea of bringing class and style and nice clothes back to the crowds at bike racers.
Yeah, enough of the stupid horns and half-naked fools and shite. I get it, you were in a frat and still think you are.
Should we get to work on a Velominati Coat of Arms that adherents can sew onto a black (with pink pinstripes?)sportcoat and immediately begin wearing to races far and wide? Hmm, it could be ready in time for some to debut at the Tour Down Under.
@Jeff in PetroMetro
The only problem with parking up three days in advance is that if you're in the Alps or Pyrennes, if you want to be at the top of the climb, you're a long way from shops, showers and a comfortable shit.
@Ron
just need a "V-cog" sew-on, that is the Velominatus' coat of arms. But I would prefer the unbranded approach - less obnoxious and frat-like. Just by dressing smart people should know that you are a class above.
I generally endorse the concept of smartening up race-watching attire to more fully accord with the seriousness of the event and more properly reflect the solemnity which such occasions should demand. (It would also reduce the prospect of encountering Lampre Man in person.) But at the TDU? "Smart dress" to an Australian means clean stubbies (= disturbingly short shorts), clean-ish jandals (= flip-flops) and an unripped singlet (= undervest - though in Australia it's not worn under anything). Turning up dressed like I imagine Steampunk wants to when he's not riding is liable to result in laughter followed by violence. I suggest the launch date be deferred to Milan - San Remo. The Italians would get it. We Antipodenas just wouldn't.
Jarvis - very good point. Unbranded is the way to go. Clear, level-headed thinking right there.
G'phant - I love how Aussie blokes dress. When I was there I was always amazed to see city workers and other manual laborers out doing serious, dirty jobs in stubbies, a rugby/footy jersey, and their Blundastones, with the ankle covers, and a big sun hat. They looked like they were half ready for the beach, just trade their boots for jandals.
And, do you think Lampre Man actually exists, or is he like Big Foot?
I also fully agree with a need to smarten certain factions of the race-watching population.
I didn't realise when I first saw this photo but if you look closely you can see it was actually taken in London as the riders departed on the Five Day Cycle Race to Glasgow. Dated 7th August 1945, it's clear that we could do it back then so why the hell did we stop? As a 'Peeler' it's also very nice to see one of London's finest wearing his custodian helmet whilst also looking casually perplexed! I will be on the look out for top hats, polished shoes and Mackintosh coats on the side of race routes next year, but maybe I'll wait until after TDU!
@Jarvis, @G'Phant, @Ron - sod the TDU, they wouldn't know what 'Looking Fantastic' looks like on or off the bike... but yes, when the peloton hits Europe next year with the classics and the grand tours, I fully expect to see classy, tasteful, yet wickedly hip yet classicly euro-stylish Velominati in the background on all the major stages... would be V (deliberate pun) cool to see 'Apply Rule 5' appear on TV at Turn 18 of the Alpe as Gesink and Schleck are going at it against each other.