Training Properly clearly isn’t everyone’s bag, baby. Heart rate, power, cadence; it’s all bollocks if you are being told to hold back, or are put into a place where you don’t want/aren’t supposed to be. If it hurts, and you’re flying, it’s working. If it hurts, and you’re crawling, it’s not working. No amount of handlebar-mounted gadgetry can convince us of what we already know; no matter how hard we may think we are going, we are probably going nowhere near hard enough. So, armed with years of field testing and a plethora of poor performance to draw upon, the team at V-Lab have developed the ultimate training tool for the discerning proponent of Rule #74.
Enter the V-Meter.
No confusing read-out. No buttons to push. No debate as to what you need to do. Just look down, ruminate briefly on the message conveyed to your oxygen-starved brain and lactate-laden legs, and V the fuck outa there. What’s the gradient of the climb? V. How fast are you going? V. What’s your heart rate doing? Your V-max? You will instantly and unequivocally know the answer.
Accordingly, the V-Meter is intended as a single-use device; after your first ride using the V-Meter, all the important and relevant numbers will be ingrained on your psyche, and the V-Meter should be removed from your bike and placed in the nearest refuse receptacle. Not only will you be freed from the burden of irrelevant numerology, so too will your steed be clean, sleek and 74 compliant.
*V-Meter not an actual product. Results may be fictional. Rule 5 sold seperately. If pain persists, good. Send V dollars to V-Lab for full program.
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Hi folks,
This seems as appropriate a post as any to both introduce myself and bring to your attention a wonderful story that clearly demonstrates that Pro cyclists are hardmen. It's about the V and how Robbie McEwen has it, and his compatriot footballers (well, rugby league) don't.
On a recent fishing trip, McEwen joined a bunch of footballers on a fishing trip. On the way back the boat filled with carbon monoxide fumes and all but Robbie and one footballer (Mat Rogers) passed out. McEwen and Rogers ended up diving into the water to save one of their party from drowning. They're being hailed as heroes.
That enough V for ya?
As for myself, I'm a simple Velominovice starting out on my climb of the sacred Mount Velomis. I break rules, willingly and unwillingly, don't appreciate half of the conversation surrounding favoured frames, parts, etc, that is held here and certainly don't possess enough of the V to feel like I can speak with any authority about pain and sacrifice.
On the flipside, I've only been riding a road bike (a 2010 Giant TCR Advanced 1) for seven months, during which time I've ridden close to 4,000km, cracked my first century and climbed Mont Ventoux. I figure it's a good start but, as the story above clearly demonstrates, there is much further to go.
@mrlavalava
That's a good story - Mat Rogers is a champion sportsman and has founded a great charity. Not to mention he has a very hot wife.
@mrlavalava
Mat Rogers (speaking about Robbie): " ... he does high-altitude training, so his blood is rich in red blood cells and he wasn't affected by the carbon monoxide." Has any medical expert opined on whether high haematocrit makes one less susceptible to carbon-monoxide? In any event, bloody shame he's considering retirement given Pegasus' travails. When he's in form he's one of those bright rays of sunshine that so often finds a way to bollocks up the well-honed leadout trains of the robot teams but without sending everyone to the deck in the process.
@mrlavalava
Hail to thee and welcome.
Saw that story about Robbie today. Good on him. I hope he finds a team for this season.
That whole Pegasus collapse was awful. I read where the Fly V guys will probably return to Fly V and race here in the States. As for the rest, Merckx have mercy.
Seriously though, the only meter I need is a small calendar on my handlebar stem, showing which month I will reach my peak in, and the cheek-meters, which start to ache when its time to turn around and go home.
I thought stickers werent allowed on the 'V' Steeds ?
While I don't like too much data and you can let your legs tell you, I rode with four guys I'd never met/ridden with before today. Only a cuntador would up the pace on such a ride.
Watching the speed as you sit second in line, waiting to ride on the front, and then keeping that pace is one thing a computer is good for. I know, I know...I could figure this out with my legs, but it is helpful for this. Just sayin'.
@Ron
Of course, you only need onboard stats in that situation when (i) the others have onboard stats and (ii) you're worried about their reaction should your pace slacken or quicken. And at least one of these is within your control...
A watch for the time (gotta get to work and all, sadly) and a check on the distance is pretty nice. But then I'm new so maybe I just to to V-up a little more.
An odd thing just occurred to me, but when I'm on the rivet there's no fucking way I'm looking at a computer. I'm looking at the other riders, the road, the lung I'm nearly coughing up. Not a computer.
@Gareth
In a race, at least in the States where we only seem to put on crits, you won't even know you have a computer on your bike until after the race is over. Then you can write your computer numbers in your journal afterwards. I mean download them. I mean store them in the cloud. I mean... fuck, I don't know what I mean. I don't have a computer anymore. Just a V-meter. Free your mind and your legs will follow. Or something like that.