Categories: Accessories and GearDefining MomentsEtiquetteFolkloreTechnology

The Elements

Farrar and Vansummeren study the effects of cold and reduced friction. Photo: Pedale.Forchetta

Water is an asshole, at least when it comes to bicycles. So is wind, now that I think of it; I don’t love it, unless its at my back, but that rarely seems to happen even on out-and-back routes. Fire’s not winning any prizes either, unless you’re talking about the hunk-a-hunka burnin’ V. Even le soleil isn’t scoring points for either the bike or the rider, unless given in carefully-controlled amounts, a fact which has large portions of the Pacific Northwest – perhaps the gloomiest place on Earth – buying up more high-SPF sunscreen and sunglasses per capita than any other place in the civilized world.

In other words, Nature’s a bit of a beyotch.

As far as our bikes go, water seems to be the biggest of these opponents. When I rode the 7-hour Heck of the North over clay-gravel roads in wind and rain; the wind was unpleasant but it left no indelible mark on me, apart from some sore muscles. The rain, on the other hand, combined with the clay from the roads to form a slurry that destroyed every bearing in my bike save one – not to mention the quarter cup of slurry that found its way into my chamois. The replacement bearings took a few weeks to source and install; the damage from the sandy chammy took over a month to heal. Water – and the additional wear it imposes on the machine (and sometimes our bodies), is not to be under estimated.

Water also introduces direct challenges while riding, the nuances of which can be explored while climbing or cornering by means of spinning out and crashing, respectively. Things get particularly interesting right around the freezing point, where the laws of physics governing cornering take on The Price is Right rules.

I have long espoused the merits of riding in bad weather; it removes the seductive qualities of riding a bike that see the weekend warriors flocking to the sport in droves during the summer months. In bad weather, the simple act of going out is already enough to make you feel the strength of your resolve as a Cyclist. But the fundamental pleasure of riding remains the same, with the added bonus of the clothing we wear making us look like the hardmen from Belgium and the dripping of water from our cycling caps serving as a metronome as we tap out our lonely path towards Mount Velomis.

We don’t ride because we love tree-lined boulevards and sunny afternoons; we ride because we love testing ourselves against our minds and the elements. There is a simple pleasure to be found in enduring a challenge; to learn to face hardship with a welcoming smile is a gift that riding a bicycle uniquely helps us discover.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next Evanescent Riders of the 90s: Laurent Dufaux »

Previous « 2013 London Cogal Report or the Shipping Forecast

View Comments

DerHoggz says:

Dec 3 2013 at 4:25 pm

@scaler911

@scaler911

@frank

@Chris

@scaler911

Wind and rain; these are the2 things you must come to love if you're going to train in the PNW.

Sounds much like living in the UK but with shit beer.

You have obviously never been to the PNW. The beer here kills anything you can find outside Belgium, and you can find all the beer from Belgium here - including fucking Malteni.

In other words: get fucked.

That about covers it.

I might add that there are a metric shitton of fine craft breweries, all (if they want to stay open) with at least one or two ales that are either "great" or "fantastic". So many, I may never get to them all, and believe me, I've been trying.

The only standard worth anything is Rochefort 10.
G'rilla says:

Dec 3 2013 at 5:03 pm

Missing from this discussion is embrocation. Every cyclist should use embrocation at least once (since the hardmen of days gone by all did).

I find it to make cold, wet, muddy CX races just right, including the car ride home afterwards (when I would otherwise be shivering all the way home). I can go without knee warmers for the duration of the race if I spread a bit of embro on 45 minutes before the race.

The only one I've tried is Rapha, but it works well enough that I haven't needed to try any others. Just be aware of the sting of shower water hitting the legs and reactivating it (if you shower before the chemicals have run their course...usually 3-4 hours after initial application).
unversio says:

Dec 3 2013 at 5:03 pm

@DerHoggz

@scaler911

@scaler911

@frank

@Chris

@scaler911

Wind and rain; these are the2 things you must come to love if you're going to train in the PNW.

Sounds much like living in the UK but with shit beer.

You have obviously never been to the PNW. The beer here kills anything you can find outside Belgium, and you can find all the beer from Belgium here - including fucking Malteni.

In other words: get fucked.

That about covers it.

I might add that there are a metric shitton of fine craft breweries, all (if they want to stay open) with at least one or two ales that are either "great" or "fantastic". So many, I may never get to them all, and believe me, I've been trying.

The only standard worth anything is Rochefort 10.

Rochefort 10. Good. It is going on the annual bonfire list of beers. I may need extra time to order it ??
unversio says:

Dec 3 2013 at 5:07 pm

@G'rilla

Missing from this discussion is embrocation. Every cyclist should use embrocation at least once (since the hardmen of days gone by all did).

I find it to make cold, wet, muddy CX races just right, including the car ride home afterwards (when I would otherwise be shivering all the way home). I can go without knee warmers for the duration of the race if I spread a bit of embro on 45 minutes before the race.

The only one I've tried is Rapha, but it works well enough that I haven't needed to try any others. Just be aware of the sting of shower water hitting the legs and reactivating it (if you shower before the chemicals have run their course...usually 3-4 hours after initial application).

Chemicals? Reactions? Okay!
unversio says:

Dec 3 2013 at 5:15 pm

I do, I really do, like deciding to plan to commit to a gruppo that agreed to go whether it is cold or not. Almost always it is only two out of the regular gruppo. Even better.
DerHoggz says:

Dec 3 2013 at 5:20 pm

@G'rilla

Missing from this discussion is embrocation. Every cyclist should use embrocation at least once (since the hardmen of days gone by all did).

I find it to make cold, wet, muddy CX races just right, including the car ride home afterwards (when I would otherwise be shivering all the way home). I can go without knee warmers for the duration of the race if I spread a bit of embro on 45 minutes before the race.

The only one I've tried is Rapha, but it works well enough that I haven't needed to try any others. Just be aware of the sting of shower water hitting the legs and reactivating it (if you shower before the chemicals have run their course...usually 3-4 hours after initial application).

I have only used Mad Alchemy Russian Tea, very good stuff. My knee warmers are pretty much infused with the stuff, the first time I realized this was jumping in the shower and getting that burn without having put any on.

@unversio

Distribution

There is some company that will direct export from Belgium.
Gianni says:

Dec 3 2013 at 5:31 pm

@frank

I remember the rainy rides in Maui with you - it blew my tiny little mind that the rain was warm. It was like taking a hot shower.

I always repeat Peter Van Petegem's words, "this weather is good for us", as it starts to rain on a ride out here. @mauibike and I can embrace the rain and go a little harder knowing it will keep us cooler. Yeah, Rule #9 is more difficult to define in Hawaii but like ChrisO points out, riding in really hot weather falls under #9 too, I hope.
Puffy says:

Dec 3 2013 at 5:39 pm

@The Pressure

Rain is one thing...once you're wet you can't get wetter. But wet AND cold I like not so much.

I can endure cold, I even like riding in rain, but put the two together and I am a miserable, but I still ride, very unhappily.
PeakInTwoYears says:

Dec 3 2013 at 5:43 pm

@Gianni

@frank

I remember the rainy rides in Maui with you - it blew my tiny little mind that the rain was warm. It was like taking a hot shower.

I always repeat Peter Van Petegem's words, "this weather is good for us", as it starts to rain on a ride out here. @mauibike and I can embrace the rain and go a little harder knowing it will keep us cooler. Yeah, Rule #9 is more difficult to define in Hawaii but like ChrisO points out, riding in really hot weather falls under #9 too, I hope.

Yeah, the rain there is warm, but your sharks are biting our feet off and killing us Washingtonians. Your shark attacks this year are up 300% over the 20-year average? WTF? Were your sharks supposed to get an email or something? This metric is going in the wrong direction.
PeakInTwoYears says:

Dec 3 2013 at 5:47 pm

@scaler911

I might add that there are a metric shitton of fine craft breweries, all (if they want to stay open) with at least one or two ales that are either "great" or "fantastic". So many, I may never get to them all, and believe me, I've been trying.

Dude. And in weird-ass, campy little Poulsbo? Three good breweries? Who the fuck knew? It's endless in this part of the world.