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The Elements

Farrar and Vansummeren study the effects of cold and reduced friction. Photo: Pedale.Forchetta

Water is an asshole, at least when it comes to bicycles. So is wind, now that I think of it; I don’t love it, unless its at my back, but that rarely seems to happen even on out-and-back routes. Fire’s not winning any prizes either, unless you’re talking about the hunk-a-hunka burnin’ V. Even le soleil isn’t scoring points for either the bike or the rider, unless given in carefully-controlled amounts, a fact which has large portions of the Pacific Northwest – perhaps the gloomiest place on Earth – buying up more high-SPF sunscreen and sunglasses per capita than any other place in the civilized world.

In other words, Nature’s a bit of a beyotch.

As far as our bikes go, water seems to be the biggest of these opponents. When I rode the 7-hour Heck of the North over clay-gravel roads in wind and rain; the wind was unpleasant but it left no indelible mark on me, apart from some sore muscles. The rain, on the other hand, combined with the clay from the roads to form a slurry that destroyed every bearing in my bike save one – not to mention the quarter cup of slurry that found its way into my chamois. The replacement bearings took a few weeks to source and install; the damage from the sandy chammy took over a month to heal. Water – and the additional wear it imposes on the machine (and sometimes our bodies), is not to be under estimated.

Water also introduces direct challenges while riding, the nuances of which can be explored while climbing or cornering by means of spinning out and crashing, respectively. Things get particularly interesting right around the freezing point, where the laws of physics governing cornering take on The Price is Right rules.

I have long espoused the merits of riding in bad weather; it removes the seductive qualities of riding a bike that see the weekend warriors flocking to the sport in droves during the summer months. In bad weather, the simple act of going out is already enough to make you feel the strength of your resolve as a Cyclist. But the fundamental pleasure of riding remains the same, with the added bonus of the clothing we wear making us look like the hardmen from Belgium and the dripping of water from our cycling caps serving as a metronome as we tap out our lonely path towards Mount Velomis.

We don’t ride because we love tree-lined boulevards and sunny afternoons; we ride because we love testing ourselves against our minds and the elements. There is a simple pleasure to be found in enduring a challenge; to learn to face hardship with a welcoming smile is a gift that riding a bicycle uniquely helps us discover.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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frank says:

Dec 3 2013 at 9:14 pm

@unversio

@DerHoggz

@scaler911

@scaler911

@frank

@Chris

@scaler911

Wind and rain; these are the2 things you must come to love if you're going to train in the PNW.

Sounds much like living in the UK but with shit beer.

You have obviously never been to the PNW. The beer here kills anything you can find outside Belgium, and you can find all the beer from Belgium here - including fucking Malteni.

In other words: get fucked.

That about covers it.

I might add that there are a metric shitton of fine craft breweries, all (if they want to stay open) with at least one or two ales that are either "great" or "fantastic". So many, I may never get to them all, and believe me, I've been trying.

The only standard worth anything is Rochefort 10.

Rochefort 10. Good. It is going on the annual bonfire list of beers. I may need extra time to order it ??

I can buy the 6, 8, and 10 at the local grocery market up the street. You are not living in the right town if you need to order it.

@scaler911

@Steve-o

Frank's last paragraph nails it. The challenge and the reward of battling the elements. Getting caught in a New England change of weather and getting cold AND wet, feels great afterward that I met the challenge. But I hate cold hands when the temp's below 25F (am I supposed to say -4C?). They hurt on the way to getting numb, and hurt like hell warming up post ride. Fucking hate it. But still, I ride.

The hand thing is my beef too. Being out on a ride and your fingers won't perform a shift anymore. Or brake. You have to use your wrist with your hand flexed to stop which isn't great on a 9% descent.

And before any of you asshats (fine gentlemen) start telling me about Lobster Claws, ya, they're fine when it's just cold, but they get wet too. I've found that glacier gloves are the bomb. Fends off the cold for hrs, even when wet. They're a bit bulky, and stink to high heaven after a few rides, but that's a fine trade for not frozen hands. They don't keep the fingers "toasty" in 1-2C and pouring, but way better than any other glove I've tried (including full on ski gloves).

I've had no luck with Neoprene because I sweat from the inside and get just as cold. Thick wool gloves are good, or windproof.

But yeah - I've had to shift using my palm because my hands were so cold. The best I've found is a good thick winter cycling cap and that oddly keeps the warm in enough to keep the hands warmish.
frank says:

Dec 3 2013 at 9:15 pm

@DerHoggz

@Barracuda

@DerHoggz

@G'rilla

Missing from this discussion is embrocation. Every cyclist should use embrocation at least once (since the hardmen of days gone by all did).

I find it to make cold, wet, muddy CX races just right, including the car ride home afterwards (when I would otherwise be shivering all the way home). I can go without knee warmers for the duration of the race if I spread a bit of embro on 45 minutes before the race.

The only one I've tried is Rapha, but it works well enough that I haven't needed to try any others. Just be aware of the sting of shower water hitting the legs and reactivating it (if you shower before the chemicals have run their course...usually 3-4 hours after initial application).

I have only used Mad Alchemy Russian Tea, very good stuff. My knee warmers are pretty much infused with the stuff, the first time I realized this was jumping in the shower and getting that burn without having put any on.

@unversio

Distribution

There is some company that will direct export from Belgium.

I use the Rapha winter embrocation also.

Point to note however is the little tin the embrocation comes in is exactly the same as their chamois cream, which I also use.

Now, you dont have to be a rocket scientist to figure out things can go awfully wrong at 5am when trying to stumble around on a cold winters morning and pick up the wrong tin first !!

I got embro on my sunnies and bidons prior to one race, it was not enjoyable.

@scaler911

@Steve-o

Frank's last paragraph nails it. The challenge and the reward of battling the elements. Getting caught in a New England change of weather and getting cold AND wet, feels great afterward that I met the challenge. But I hate cold hands when the temp's below 25F (am I supposed to say -4C?). They hurt on the way to getting numb, and hurt like hell warming up post ride. Fucking hate it. But still, I ride.

The hand thing is my beef too. Being out on a ride and your fingers won't perform a shift anymore. Or brake. You have to use your wrist with your hand flexed to stop which isn't great on a 9% descent.

Trying to trim the front derailleur with frozen hands when you have to stare at the lever or derailleur because you can't feel actually feel anything is pretty common for me. The feeling of hands and feet thawing is excruciating, feels like your bones are trying to grow through your fingers and toes. I find a more gradual warm-up works better then jumping straight into a hot shower. I usually spend several minutes curled up on the floor in a fetal position with my hands smashed behind my knees crafting monologues of obscenities. It seems to work.

That's like chopping chili peppers right before having some alone time.
Gianni says:

Dec 3 2013 at 9:37 pm

@Marcus

@PeakInTwoYears

@Gianni

@frank

I remember the rainy rides in Maui with you - it blew my tiny little mind that the rain was warm. It was like taking a hot shower.

I always repeat Peter Van Petegem's words, "this weather is good for us", as it starts to rain on a ride out here. @mauibike and I can embrace the rain and go a little harder knowing it will keep us cooler. Yeah, Rule #9 is more difficult to define in Hawaii but like ChrisO points out, riding in really hot weather falls under #9 too, I hope.

Yeah, the rain there is warm, but your sharks are biting our feet off and killing us Washingtonians. Your shark attacks this year are up 300% over the 20-year average? WTF? Were your sharks supposed to get an email or something? This metric is going in the wrong direction.

Hawaiian sharks are pussies - come down to Australia, particularly Western Australia, if you want good weather and fatal shark attacks. And shit beer.

Our sharks are doing pretty well for being pussies. Killing and biting, a lot.

It's taken all the fun out of swimming offshore with meat flippers. Luckily, our beer is good.
PeakInTwoYears says:

Dec 3 2013 at 10:10 pm

@frank

I've had no luck with Neoprene because I sweat from the inside and get just as cold. Thick wool gloves are good, or windproof.

I have some Glacier Gloves, and they rock for splashing around in North Pacific seawater in winter, but I find them too schweddy* on a bike, even though I used to get the screaming barfies when I'd try to rockclimb in merely chilly damp weather.

*
Nate says:

Dec 3 2013 at 10:59 pm

@scaler911

Embro? I make my my own. Pretty simple mix of Bag Balm, olive oil, clove oil, and extra hot Tiger Balm. The Bag Balm keeps it "thick" and not oily while providing a coat that acts like a base layer. The clove and Tiger Balm provides the "heat". Been thinking about experimenting with some of the Thai peppers I grew this year. Not too many since I prefer to eat them.

DIY embro? What could be more Portlandia? Have you moved across the river?
tessar says:

Dec 4 2013 at 12:38 am

@RedRanger

@ChrisO

@TheVid

@antihero

Ultimately, there's no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing.

Nail, meet hammer. Done.

This would be a good time to remind you all that fire is also an element, and Rule #9 encompasses heat as well.

Not that I like cold and rain but you CAN dress for it.

On the other hand when the ambient temperature is 45C and your body has started to cook itself and go into early stage heatstroke, it's difficult to imagine how an alternative clothing choice might help.

Keep on preaching brother. We might be the only two here that are glad summer is over.

+1 on my part. First ride with arm-warmers always brings joy to my heart. If I have to break out the raincoat, I'm downright giddy.
Marcus says:

Dec 4 2013 at 1:02 am

@Gianni

Wiki tells me there have been 9 fatal shark attacks in history in Hawaii (which I found surprising). Australia has 219. Next closest is the whole of Africa with 89.

Grow some balls Gianni
Chris says:

Dec 4 2013 at 1:40 am

@Marcus

@Gianni

Wiki tells me there have been 9 fatal shark attacks in history in Hawaii (which I found surprising). Australia has 219. Next closest is the whole of Africa with 89.

Grow some balls Gianni

Is this really a reflection on the appetites Hawaiian & Australian sharks and the perils of swimming there or more likely a result of the intelligence of the respective populations?
Chris says:

Dec 4 2013 at 1:44 am

@frank

I've had no luck with Neoprene because I sweat from the inside and get just as cold. Thick wool gloves are good, or windproof.

But yeah - I've had to shift using my palm because my hands were so cold. The best I've found is a good thick winter cycling cap and that oddly keeps the warm in enough to keep the hands warmish.

Defeet's woolly gloves are awesome. I went through a stack of other winter gloves but ended up giving most of them away. Warm, wet, breathing hands are fine but warm, sweaty, stewed hand, no thanks.
Chris says:

Dec 4 2013 at 1:58 am

@frank You've obviously spent little time drinking ale in the UK and what time you might have spent must have been in the wrong places. Most 'mericans make that mistake.

Belgian beer is pretty easy to come by here as well and doesn't come with a premium as we're not that far from the source.

My local purveyor of fine booze stocks Rochefort 10 so it's highly likely that I will get fucked at some point in the lead up to Christmas.