The Elements
Water is an asshole, at least when it comes to bicycles. So is wind, now that I think of it; I don’t love it, unless its at my back, but that rarely seems to happen even on out-and-back routes. Fire’s not winning any prizes either, unless you’re talking about the hunk-a-hunka burnin’ V. Even le soleil isn’t scoring points for either the bike or the rider, unless given in carefully-controlled amounts, a fact which has large portions of the Pacific Northwest – perhaps the gloomiest place on Earth – buying up more high-SPF sunscreen and sunglasses per capita than any other place in the civilized world.
In other words, Nature’s a bit of a beyotch.
As far as our bikes go, water seems to be the biggest of these opponents. When I rode the 7-hour Heck of the North over clay-gravel roads in wind and rain; the wind was unpleasant but it left no indelible mark on me, apart from some sore muscles. The rain, on the other hand, combined with the clay from the roads to form a slurry that destroyed every bearing in my bike save one – not to mention the quarter cup of slurry that found its way into my chamois. The replacement bearings took a few weeks to source and install; the damage from the sandy chammy took over a month to heal. Water – and the additional wear it imposes on the machine (and sometimes our bodies), is not to be under estimated.
Water also introduces direct challenges while riding, the nuances of which can be explored while climbing or cornering by means of spinning out and crashing, respectively. Things get particularly interesting right around the freezing point, where the laws of physics governing cornering take on The Price is Right rules.
I have long espoused the merits of riding in bad weather; it removes the seductive qualities of riding a bike that see the weekend warriors flocking to the sport in droves during the summer months. In bad weather, the simple act of going out is already enough to make you feel the strength of your resolve as a Cyclist. But the fundamental pleasure of riding remains the same, with the added bonus of the clothing we wear making us look like the hardmen from Belgium and the dripping of water from our cycling caps serving as a metronome as we tap out our lonely path towards Mount Velomis.
We don’t ride because we love tree-lined boulevards and sunny afternoons; we ride because we love testing ourselves against our minds and the elements. There is a simple pleasure to be found in enduring a challenge; to learn to face hardship with a welcoming smile is a gift that riding a bicycle uniquely helps us discover.
…and as the London Cogal report verifies, water is an asshole the way it facilitates glass penetration into tires so efficiently (do I get extra credit for using verifies, facilitates, penetration and efficiently in one sentence?). Leaving one fixing a flat while crouched next to the road in soaking wet lycra.
@Gianni My puncture was very near the start of the ride so I didn’t fancy another 150km or so on a spare, marginally attached tubular – pitstop was the order of the day and much quicker than fannying around with tubes and patches.
My Speedplay pedals were a complete write off, they would not spin at all the next day.
The elements harden us, yet bind us as brethren.
Nothing made me feel closer to my fellow Velominatus than the other day, while riding in 28 degrees (9 with the wind chill), and seeing another, alone on his machine. We passed each other, smiling from ear to ear, as the looks on our faces said what words could not capture.
Back in the old days (1978-80S) I would commute to and from work about 18 miles each way. When it rained I would sit on the living room floor, rebuild the hubs, bottom bracket and jockey wheels. Would also clear and oil the freewheel. I was like a junkie cooking his dope. A ritual of love for the bike and everything it stood for: Beauty, pain, freedom.
Last paragraph is gold frank. You should probably stop writing any future articles. Crowsfeet be damned
@Chris
No worries on the speedplays. I’ve had that happen. Just inject some fresh grease into the port, until some nasty old grease comes out on the crank arm side. I think the needle bearings get all wet and grimy during a ride like that and need some new grease.
I have dirty love for rain. But proper, pishing it down rain. Drizzle? Just unpleasant without the satisfaction of a good honest soaking.
Howling wind can bugger off though. Did a ride in the fens in June. Start and finish at the same place. Over 2/3 of it into an energy sapping, bunch splitting head/crosswind. On open and busy roads, so no way to form an echelon. Every man for himself. ‘orrible.
@Gianni I’ve pumped in grease until it’s come out clean on the other side to no avail. They’re fucked.
Summer here down under. We challenge the roads with a smile, quickly wiped from our visage by a cruel, cruel Nor West wind, sent to test us yet further.
Yet we ride. And ride again, as if to challenge the nature from which we were born. No wind has stopped me from riding.
Snow didn’t stop me either. The snow wasn’t the issue, it was the salt and grit the authorities thought would be a good idea to spread on our playing fields.
It’s okay to feel challenged by the weather. The greater the challenge, the greater the satisfaction in overcoming it.
@Chris
Dog’s bollocks! That is no damn good. One can buy new pedal bodies with new needle bearings already inserted. I’ve done that once. And had the pedal body come off the axle while still in the cleat. Idiot!
@Al__S
Was that the Flat Out in the Fens? I was on that too. First 120 K was fine(ish) and averaging near 30 kph then the last 60 K straight into that gale. As you say ‘orrible. Grovelling by the finish was I – anyone I tried to hook up with just sat on my wheel. Planning to go back next year and hoping to avoid another Fen blow.
Doing a light training ride in wet weather is one thing, but I cannot imagine racing in terrible weather. I still think I hate wind more though, as you can’t see it from that kitchen window, so it fucks around with ya more than the rain, which is a bit more obvious.
Boy oh boy, riding only in nice, warm weather sounds terribly boring.
I know what it is to feel like the wind is constantly in my face (in more ways than one) living on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. I’ll often think to myself ‘How can this be? It’s the same road…all I did was turn around?’ I guess that’s what you get when you live near water on land as flat as a pancake.
@Ron It is boring, moved from my dear Portland to Pasadena last year (grad school). While the PNW may be a bit over the top as far as crap weather goes, I miss it dearly. I would rather battle the weather than the Socal drivers.
The worst rides are always the best rides. Blast lube through speedplays regularly, if adhering to rule V.
Wind is a manifestation of group thinking. I try to ignore it, and think through it.
Rain is ok, it’s the gritty sand from a wet road thrown all over my bike I hate.
Haven’t had a super shitty ride here in SE Wisconsin yet this fall. Been pretty chilly but dry. Winds have actually been ok – yesterday was nice – 34 degrees with a faint tail wind home. A nice change as my usual routes mean a head wind home is the norm.
Salt has already been put down so that’s ominous – that crap mixed with melted snow/ice will really trash your gear/bike.
I agree though – it’s not a winter ride till the bike is seriously messed up and the booties are coated in frozen slush.
that last paragraph is one for the ages. well fucking said indeed..
Rode 20k of a 50k loop into a brutal headwind. I kept thinking about trying be aerodynamic and to flow through the wind rather than push against it. Flat back and all that wonderful stuff. I had the wind at my back for the homeward stretch thank goodness. As far as rain goes, I enjoy it up to a point. When it gets to be a deluge and the water is flowing over my rims because the storm drains can’t keep up, I will admit I usually find the trainer, or just work on my recovery drinking without anything to recover from.
my last MTB ride was in some of the worst side winds ever. keeping the front wheel on the foot wide trail was a real challenge. my friend and I did 19 miles in that. my arms where as sore as my legs. great ride!
@Rom
THIS.
@Rom
And THIS AGAIN! Why am I more motivated to ride my mtb when it’s shit out? Because I DON’T FUCKING CARE
After my novice years (not sure they have truly ended), riding in New England, where the weather can turn to crap swiftly; I have discovered cycling heaven in Northern California. Like others, I still feel a sense of pride on the misty, cold mornings when there is a bite in the air and grit to be hurled. But on more occasions than not, the weather is very forgiving allowing for year-round training and amazing climbing (….and descending). A Sunday ride with one of my pals was under a 70 degree sun in the Oakland Hills. Having said that, we could use some water.
Meh, the Heck of the North wasn’t that bad.
@Gianni
“Dogs Bollocks” is a good thing. “Bollocks” is a bad thing. Go figure.
A buddy let me have his old Ti spindles from his X1s. They were so under-cared for that I almost cried – damn they would’ve been expensive. He’d crashed on one of them and it has become near fixed in place; the other has no grease left in it so it just spins around like a hamster wheel – the grease port was stuffed. I took a lesson on maintenance with that one.
They wouldn’t have fit into my zero’s anyway.
Rain is one thing…once you’re wet you can’t get wetter. But wet AND cold I like not so much. Though my Irish roots might suggest some more Rule #5, I just don’t like to be wet and cold. On a cold, dry day in southern Ontario we will gladly endure -4 C (grit not withstanding). Before our snow arrived recently I enjoyed a glorious out and back ride with tailwind out and mighty 40k headwind home! It was entertaining ‘tacking’ home to try and hide from the wind.
Very nice article. Summer here in Perth at the moment so while I might like to sympathise with all you notherners, I won’t.
Don’t mind crap weather on the bike, but getting out the house when it’s raining already – that’s tough. I find once the feet are on the decks, it’s ho hum get it done and feel good about being out when every other sook is in bed or in their car. But if it’s horizontal rain and 80km/h winds and I realise before I’m out the door, that’s a struggle.
Oh and since most of my ride involves getting to and from work, riding home after getting soaked in the morning – that’s bloody unpleasant, cold wet chamois – nice, not. I’m always concerned about getting “trench bollocks” and having them go gangrenous…
@Teocalli I quite fancy the Flat Out in the Fens for 2014 – it runs within a kilometre of my house. It’s never quite worked out in terms of dates before but it’s in the diary now.
I always thought it would make a good base for a double imperial ton.
Love the article. Cold: no problem – we wrap up. Rain: we can deal with it (skin is waterproof after all). Wind: it’s just a fact of life on two wheels, but combine any two of these and my sense of humour moves over; replaced by honour, duty to the V and sometimes pure necessity. My 50km daily commute often takes in all three of the above at this time of year and for the next three or maybe four months, sometimes both ways and nearly always in the dark, occasionally I hate it but apply Rule #5 and get on with it in the knowledge that I HATE the turbo-trainer even more and in the vain hope that it will make me faster/better/lighter next season …hope springs eternal and all that! Am I really a better for it?
Definitely yes.
Riding in the cold can be delightful – you just add clothing and you’re sorted. The cold/wet combo, though…rough. Peering out the window at 2°C and steady rain is always dispiriting. Once I’m on the road things always look up, though – clipping in and immediately applying lots of V does the job.
Ultimately, there’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing.
Breaking out the fixed gear helps too – I stay warmer somehow when I can’t stop pedaling, and in any case it limits speed downhill.
@Chris
I’m planning to repeat for 2014 as it would be great to do without a gale and have our own mini peleton. Gales aside, the Fens is a good place for a double ton.
@Giles
Hey @Giles I’m a Perthite too. S o when are we having a Perth Cogal?
@Teocalli and @Chris
Flat out in the Fens sounds good to me if I could join the mini peleton and take my turn on the front. I averaged 29kmph on Ride London Surrey this year without help and I was still 2 months from peaking so if I won’t hold you up?
@PedallingTom
Cripes, if you average 29kph and you were 2 months from peaking you’ll be allocated double time at the front! So can we join you more like?
@Rom
@Rom Exactly! a long, warming shower and a couple of recovery pints and I’m back to (relative) normal. I can’t help but feel pity for my beloved steed for the damage inflicted by the elements.
Rain is ok, it’s the gritty sand from a wet road thrown all over my bike I hate.
@Teocalli
Being mildly pissed at this point, I’m going to take the above posts to be agreement that @Teocalli & @PedallingTom will be joining me for a double ton on 22 June 2014. The route will be something along the lines of this. @Al__S from memory you’re fairly local so you’re quite welcome to join in.
Wind and rain; these are the 2 things you must come to love if you’re going to train in the PNW. Seattle gets a touch more rain, and Portland gets a lot more wind (living at the mouth of THE GORGE).
One thing not mentioned in Franks fab article is freezing rain. That occurs from time to time, and in the worst years, it’ll hang around for 4-6 days. That’s when you ride the rollers or don’t ride at all. It almost always follows a few inches of snow, so unless you want to put spikes in your tubs, you’re fucked.
@scaler911
Sounds much like living in the UK but with shit beer.
@antihero
Nail, meet hammer. Done.
@Chris and @Teocalli
I will still be 2 months from peaking at the time I suspect and a double imperial will call for holding something in reserve! I’ll be referring to this (http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/guest-article-anatomy-of-a-picture-the-perfect-personification-of-rule-5/) for inspiration for the V required on the day.
I rode as a bike messenger here in the frozen tundra of the Great White North long before I learned the ways of the Velominatus (Oh, the rule violations :hang head).
I would strip my 32mm slick tired MTB down to a single speed (usually a 42-12) using a Surly Singulator. I would get rid of the rear brake, all cables, housings, and the bulk of the cassette.
The salty, gritty slush of a typical Calgarian winter constantly enters into the cassette and derailleurs, and clings to the cables. Once the machine is so infiltrated, it re-freezes and prevents the rider from choosing the optimum gear for the conditions/speed. I learned quickly that in winter, choose one gear in the morning, because by the time I got to work, it’d be the only gear I’d have for the rest of the day.
Nothing taught me more about clothing selection and bike handling skills than riding in traffic all day, every day, all winter long (even when below -20C). Snow, sleet, rain, slush. It didn’t matter. Yes it was because I had a job to do, but it was a job I chose to do, and was proud to do.
Look at the weather forecast for the day, select appropriate clothing, bring out the trusty steed and get on with it. Just know that the maintenance requirements for riding through such conditions require greater post-ride commitment.
@TheVid
This would be a good time to remind you all that fire is also an element, and Rule #9 encompasses heat as well.
Not that I like cold and rain but you CAN dress for it.
On the other hand when the ambient temperature is 45C and your body has started to cook itself and go into early stage heatstroke, it’s difficult to imagine how an alternative clothing choice might help.
@ChrisO
Keep on preaching brother. We might be the only two here that are glad summer is over.
@PedallingTom
Ha ha I like that – never slow or out of condition, just perpetually peak – n months. Though I guess the alternative is also for some of us that we are at peak + n months. Where n in the latter case could be quite a large number, and growing.
Hey guys: mind if i jump back on the group ride, been out and stupid work is killer
Weather is everything to us as cyclists, especially in the cyclocentric cosmos we live in. I submit that my cycling buddies and I may well know the weather better than the ones on TV, we just don’t look as nice.
And after all, we take a loop, into 40kph head wind, and loop home, we don’t talk about the sweet souplesse spin back, we bitch about the hell heading north. We note the rain, and relubing our entire drive train. We even grumble about the august heat and humidity here in the midwest, when its 100+ and humid, and you can’t breath.
Simply, as we all know, weather is really our point of reference for all things related to saddletime. If it were not for the hell-o-north winds, the rain, the oppressive heat, the cold….we would never enjoy the good days down, as it was put it ‘tree lined boulevards’ nor the days we ‘are flying’
I know I’m on the right path when my girlfriend (who will not ride in the cold but will ride in the rain) says “you’re going to ride in this?”
@Souleur
“And after all, we take a loop, into 40kph head wind, and loop home, we don’t talk about the sweet souplesse spin back, we bitch about the hell heading north. We note the rain, and relubing our entire drive train. We even grumble about the august heat and humidity here in the midwest, when its 100+ and humid, and you can’t breath.”
We have that type of heat and humidity here on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. We’re surrounded by water on three sides, so it’s like living in a swamp at times during the summer months. Fortunately, that type of weather doesn’t bother me (or my gf) – I guess we’re just used to it.
@Souleur
I dunno, I’ve spent any amount of time out playing in shit conditions, especially windsurfing, and I’m now a bit partial to tree-lined boulevards and sunny afternoons.
A typical ride where I live involves rain at some point, but it’s rarely cold and wet at the same time, which is nice. I like to MTB in the rain, cos its cooler, and mud is fun.
Its funny. almost exactly 4 years ago (another month or so I think), @scaler911 tried to drown me at a slow pace (as much as I could handle anyhow) on a get acquainted with the road spin. although perhaps the non-roadie spirit was perhaps drowned, the body was simply left quite hypothermic. Classic PNW winter drizzle turning into a frank (little “f” anyhow, not to be confused with…) deluge at the ride midpoint. Now look at us. racing teammates and still occasionally getting near drownings…
@Chris
Oh. Oh. The gauntlet has been thrown, and it has overturned a serving bowl of overcooked vegetables on its way down.