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The Elements

Farrar and Vansummeren study the effects of cold and reduced friction. Photo: Pedale.Forchetta

Water is an asshole, at least when it comes to bicycles. So is wind, now that I think of it; I don’t love it, unless its at my back, but that rarely seems to happen even on out-and-back routes. Fire’s not winning any prizes either, unless you’re talking about the hunk-a-hunka burnin’ V. Even le soleil isn’t scoring points for either the bike or the rider, unless given in carefully-controlled amounts, a fact which has large portions of the Pacific Northwest – perhaps the gloomiest place on Earth – buying up more high-SPF sunscreen and sunglasses per capita than any other place in the civilized world.

In other words, Nature’s a bit of a beyotch.

As far as our bikes go, water seems to be the biggest of these opponents. When I rode the 7-hour Heck of the North over clay-gravel roads in wind and rain; the wind was unpleasant but it left no indelible mark on me, apart from some sore muscles. The rain, on the other hand, combined with the clay from the roads to form a slurry that destroyed every bearing in my bike save one – not to mention the quarter cup of slurry that found its way into my chamois. The replacement bearings took a few weeks to source and install; the damage from the sandy chammy took over a month to heal. Water – and the additional wear it imposes on the machine (and sometimes our bodies), is not to be under estimated.

Water also introduces direct challenges while riding, the nuances of which can be explored while climbing or cornering by means of spinning out and crashing, respectively. Things get particularly interesting right around the freezing point, where the laws of physics governing cornering take on The Price is Right rules.

I have long espoused the merits of riding in bad weather; it removes the seductive qualities of riding a bike that see the weekend warriors flocking to the sport in droves during the summer months. In bad weather, the simple act of going out is already enough to make you feel the strength of your resolve as a Cyclist. But the fundamental pleasure of riding remains the same, with the added bonus of the clothing we wear making us look like the hardmen from Belgium and the dripping of water from our cycling caps serving as a metronome as we tap out our lonely path towards Mount Velomis.

We don’t ride because we love tree-lined boulevards and sunny afternoons; we ride because we love testing ourselves against our minds and the elements. There is a simple pleasure to be found in enduring a challenge; to learn to face hardship with a welcoming smile is a gift that riding a bicycle uniquely helps us discover.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Teocalli says:

Dec 3 2013 at 5:13 am

@Chris

@Teocalli I quite fancy the Flat Out in the Fens for 2014 - it runs within a kilometre of my house. It's never quite worked out in terms of dates before but it's in the diary now.

I always thought it would make a good base for a double imperial ton.

I'm planning to repeat for 2014 as it would be great to do without a gale and have our own mini peleton. Gales aside, the Fens is a good place for a double ton.
Rom says:

Dec 3 2013 at 5:49 am

@Giles

Very nice article. Summer here in Perth at the moment so while I might like to sympathise with all you notherners, I won't.

Don't mind crap weather on the bike, but getting out the house when it's raining already - that's tough. I find once the feet are on the decks, it's ho hum get it done and feel good about being out when every other sook is in bed or in their car. But if it's horizontal rain and 80km/h winds and I realise before I'm out the door, that's a struggle.

Oh and since most of my ride involves getting to and from work, riding home after getting soaked in the morning - that's bloody unpleasant, cold wet chamois - nice, not. I'm always concerned about getting "trench bollocks" and having them go gangrenous...

Hey @Giles I'm a Perthite too. S o when are we having a Perth Cogal?
PedallingTom says:

Dec 3 2013 at 6:37 am

@Teocalli and @Chris

Flat out in the Fens sounds good to me if I could join the mini peleton and take my turn on the front. I averaged 29kmph on Ride London Surrey this year without help and I was still 2 months from peaking so if I won't hold you up?
Teocalli says:

Dec 3 2013 at 6:59 am

@PedallingTom

@Teocalli and @Chris

Flat out in the Fens sounds good to me if I could join the mini peleton and take my turn on the front. I averaged 29kmph on Ride London Surrey this year without help and I was still 2 months from peaking so if I won't hold you up?

Cripes, if you average 29kph and you were 2 months from peaking you'll be allocated double time at the front! So can we join you more like?
IceAce says:

Dec 3 2013 at 7:55 am

@Rom

Rain is ok, it's the gritty sand from a wet road thrown all over my bike I hate.

@Rom Exactly! a long, warming shower and a couple of recovery pints and I'm back to (relative) normal. I can't help but feel pity for my beloved steed for the damage inflicted by the elements.

Rain is ok, it's the gritty sand from a wet road thrown all over my bike I hate.
Chris says:

Dec 3 2013 at 8:24 am

@Teocalli

@PedallingTom

@Teocalli and @Chris

Flat out in the Fens sounds good to me if I could join the mini peleton and take my turn on the front. I averaged 29kmph on Ride London Surrey this year without help and I was still 2 months from peaking so if I won't hold you up?

Cripes, if you average 29kph and you were 2 months from peaking you'll be allocated double time at the front! So can we join you more like?

Being mildly pissed at this point, I'm going to take the above posts to be agreement that @Teocalli & @PedallingTom will be joining me for a double ton on 22 June 2014. The route will be something along the lines of this. @Al__S from memory you're fairly local so you're quite welcome to join in.
scaler911 says:

Dec 3 2013 at 8:53 am

Wind and rain; these are the 2 things you must come to love if you're going to train in the PNW. Seattle gets a touch more rain, and Portland gets a lot more wind (living at the mouth of THE GORGE).

One thing not mentioned in Franks fab article is freezing rain. That occurs from time to time, and in the worst years, it'll hang around for 4-6 days. That's when you ride the rollers or don't ride at all. It almost always follows a few inches of snow, so unless you want to put spikes in your tubs, you're fucked.
Chris says:

Dec 3 2013 at 8:57 am

@scaler911

Wind and rain; these are the2 things you must come to love if you're going to train in the PNW.

Sounds much like living in the UK but with shit beer.
TheVid says:

Dec 3 2013 at 9:02 am

@antihero

Ultimately, there's no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing.

Nail, meet hammer. Done.
PedallingTom says:

Dec 3 2013 at 9:10 am

@Chris and @Teocalli

I will still be 2 months from peaking at the time I suspect and a double imperial will call for holding something in reserve! I'll be referring to this (http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/guest-article-anatomy-of-a-picture-the-perfect-personification-of-rule-5/) for inspiration for the V required on the day.