The best tires money can buy: FMB.

One of the things that strikes me most about the English is they don’t appear to have developed any sort of “inner dialog”. It seems anything that passes through the brain is parlayed directly to the tongue; if the thought being expressed is an insult to you, it will generally include a query for confirmation: “You’re not terribly clever, are you?” At least the English have developed the sophistication to keep their voices down which is a skill English children apparently don’t develop until adolescence. I recently spent some time on a small aircraft sitting opposite a young English girl who loudly narrated the progress of her camera’s zoom functionality which, due to the plane’s low cruising altitude, meant it was pointed out the window and in constant operation for the duration of the two-hour flight.

While I don’t consider myself a savage, I also don’t possess the dignity of soft speech; my voice carries as it is, let alone if I’m enthusiastic or angry, which between the two covers about 99.93% of my existance. I’m not sure why people place value on speaking quietly or, for that matter, having any sort of inner dialog. I think this is why I get on well with the English: I spend most of my life trying to sort out what the living beings around me are thinking; if they all had a readout on their forehead or spoke every thought that ever crossed their mind out loud, it would save me loads of time which would free me up for riding my bike.

Riding tubular tires is kind of like riding the tire equivalent of the English, except less cold. Riding tubular tires on deep-section rims is like riding the tire equivalent of English pre-adolescents. (I realized during proofing that I am getting dangerously close to pedaphile territory; this analogy isn’t as clever as it seems, is it? New paragraph, then.)

A well-made, hand-stitched tubular tire is a revelation to ride. The first time I rode tubs, it was aboard a set of Vredesteins which are excellent tires. I was immediately struck by how responsive they were, and how well they cornered. Then I rode a set of FMB Paris-Roubaixs and was struck by all those same things except they also felt like two cushions under my rims, carrying my smoothly from one imperfection to the next as I floated over the tarmac. The most striking thing was the sound: a hypnotic hum that brings the mind inexorably closer to becoming One with The V, the hum sooths and makes you more alert in equal measure; its pulsation reveals the smoothness or imperfections of your stroke with every revolution of the pedals. Clinchers can do much of the same, particularly when ridden with latex tubes, but nothing compares to a well-made tubular to sing the praises or holler the frailties of your stroke.

The Hum whispers to me when I’m climbing well; it shouts at me when I’m suffering worst (read: climbing badly), reminding me to stop pedalling squares and focus on the fluidity of the stroke. The more V is channeled into the pedals, the more difficult it becomes to achieve a Magnificent Stroke. It also hints that its easier to push round smoothly at a low cadence than it in in a high cadence; track racers who can turn round at 160rpm while delivering full power astound me.

The Hum has brought me closer to a Magnificent Stroke. It calls out when I stray, it soothes when I am near. I seek it, I embrace it. Always.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Bruce Lee

    Yes, youngsters, do try a fast set up tubulars at least once. You may not go back. But make sure you seek out an old crusty mechanic to learn how to really glue on a tire before you do.

    One of these days, I'll get my hands on some tubs....

  • @wilburrox

    Hey all, re: Vittoria Pave's...when I first started riding 'em they had the green stripe down the middle. Now they come with the green sidewall. And, I've recently noticed, they also care available in all black. That's news to me 'cause if they've always been available in all black then I've not noticed. I just figured Pave's were green and didn't matter if the green looked a little odd on the bike because they were Pave's and Pave's were green. So, the question I'm asking myself is, is my next set of Pave's gonna be all black ? or is that like dressing Santa Clause in black or something like that ? Just not meant to be ?

    Try getting your hands on the all black version. They are listed on inventory sheets, rps claim that they have seem them, but as yet..I have never laid eyes on the all black version of the Pave. My current ones have the green on the side. Vittoria moved the color from the center stripe to the side as it was difficult to perfectly center the color on the tread and people complained that the tires were defective and "out of balance" because the color wasn't perfectly straight....

  • @Haldy

    @wilburrox

    Hey all, re: Vittoria Pave's...when I first started riding 'em they had the green stripe down the middle. Now they come with the green sidewall. And, I've recently noticed, they also care available in all black. That's news to me 'cause if they've always been available in all black then I've not noticed. I just figured Pave's were green and didn't matter if the green looked a little odd on the bike because they were Pave's and Pave's were green. So, the question I'm asking myself is, is my next set of Pave's gonna be all black ? or is that like dressing Santa Clause in black or something like that ? Just not meant to be ?

    Try getting your hands on the all black version. They are listed on inventory sheets, rps claim that they have seem them, but as yet..I have never laid eyes on the all black version of the Pave. My current ones have the green on the side. Vittoria moved the color from the center stripe to the side as it was difficult to perfectly center the color on the tread and people complained that the tires were defective and "out of balance" because the color wasn't perfectly straight....

    Huh, very interesting.  I am due to buy some new Pave' tubs and I am sorry to hear this.  I started on tubs when I started seriously riding at age 14 in '86.  I loved, and still do, the center green stripe.  That was the essence of "Pro" to me back then.

  • @markb

    @frank

    @rfreese888

    Are tubs realistic for daily use commuting on crappy Dublin roads? I roll gatorskins which don't sound all that sexy but much better than the sound of a flat tire!

    I'm skeptical about using them commuting, but they are realistic for daily training; a flat is a flat is a flat.

    Agreed. I know a few cycle couriers in old London town. Some ride tubs when it's for fun, but for work clinchers rule. One can easily change an inner tube in under 5 mins and be back on the road whatever the conditions. Fucking around on a busy carriageway in the dark, cold and rain with sticky tubs is just stupid.

    I'm in phase on everything except the speed to change the tire - I can change a tub faster than a clincher and there's actually less muss and trouble by avoiding having to fit the tub back into the tire.

  • @Chris

    @frank

    @PeakInTwoYears

    It appears that someone got an early start on some variety of noble grape.

    Nonetheless, this is an important topic, and I'm curious about the environmental conditions under which one hears the Hum betterly or worsely. If one played the guitar, let's say, and one were a tone geek, on what road surface would one play for maximal satisfaction?

    The smoother the better; concrete is also quite good. If you can climb alongside a wall (concrete ideally) it will reflect the sound even more. It is sexy and beautiful.

    And temperature. My Vittorias sound so much sweeter when there's a bit of frost about.

    The first time I really noticed how beautiful tubulars sound was on the Sunday after riding PR on KT13. A fucking freezing ride through the silence of dawn but most of us were on tubs and the noise was glorious.

    That might have been the best ride of the week; so surreal in the cold, and we were all so tired from the previous day's soul-crushing.

    Except Alex took us over more cobbles, the pisshead.

  • @Buck Rogers -

    To be honest...I like the green on the side better than on the center stripe. The green becomes more visible from all directions. Then more folks( assuming they are educated enough..I know..big assumption) can see you are rolling on Pave's

  • @Gianni

    I believe Frank is generalizing about all English from the interaction with one obnoxious English child. Fair enough, sweeping generalizations, that's what we do here.

    Close. It was the kid plus the English ex-pat car driver who brought us to said airport.

    @TommyTubolare

    @Nate

    I find it to be the best on the sidewall. Let air out of the tubular, apply thinly, let it dry and pump up normally. In some cases a bit of air left in a tubular helps, depending on how or where the cut is.

    https://www.mcnett.com/gearaid/seam-grip#10510

    Wherethefuckyoubeen?

    Missed you my friend, good to see you around again.

  • @Deakus

    @frank

    @rfreese888

    Are tubs realistic for daily use commuting on crappy Dublin roads? I roll gatorskins which don't sound all that sexy but much better than the sound of a flat tire!

    I'm skeptical about using them commuting, but they are realistic for daily training; a flat is a flat is a flat.

    Incidentally, I feel Gatorskins are totally backwards; they try to avoid flats by being very rigid, whereas I've had the least flats on the most supple tires. For example, on Keepers Tour we always have flats from people riding Gators, and rarely from anyone crushing tubs.

    I am presuming that is because of tubs resistance to pinch punctures at lower pressures...I suspect any clinchers would struggle on the pave, the beauty of tubs on the cobbles is the enclosed nature of them preventing tubes pinching against rims?

    No, it has to do with how supple the casing is and how well it can flex and adjust to rocks and other debris.

  • @teleguy57

    Wow, talk about cosmic convergence. Yesterday I get an email from Belgianwerkx (cool name and just as cool a shop!) telling me for the first time in a long time I actually won something of value. And now this article..

    Since my knees don't let me run for CX or anything else, they were gracious enough to substitute a pair of Paris-Roubaixs. Now my first-world problem is deciding whether to put them on my Golden Tickets, my Aeolus D3 35s, or my Nucleons. Do I want to look like old-school Tommeke or new-school Faboo? I have a winter of tire aging to decide:)

    These are the sorts of problems you genuinely need to cherish. Much beer and wine will also be required to find the right answer.

    In other news, my 27 PRs just showed up at the shop (Branford Bike); the owner's been aging them for a year.

  • @frank

    @Deakus

    @frank

    @rfreese888

    Are tubs realistic for daily use commuting on crappy Dublin roads? I roll gatorskins which don't sound all that sexy but much better than the sound of a flat tire!

    I'm skeptical about using them commuting, but they are realistic for daily training; a flat is a flat is a flat.

    Incidentally, I feel Gatorskins are totally backwards; they try to avoid flats by being very rigid, whereas I've had the least flats on the most supple tires. For example, on Keepers Tour we always have flats from people riding Gators, and rarely from anyone crushing tubs.

    I am presuming that is because of tubs resistance to pinch punctures at lower pressures...I suspect any clinchers would struggle on the pave, the beauty of tubs on the cobbles is the enclosed nature of them preventing tubes pinching against rims?

    No, it has to do with how supple the casing is and how well it can flex and adjust to rocks and other debris.

    Indeed, I believe pro mechanics know that the pressure is right for le pave when the rim kisses the stones through the tub on the roughest patches. Must be hitting the rim with free abandon at 60kph into the Arenberg..

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