The best tires money can buy: FMB.

One of the things that strikes me most about the English is they don’t appear to have developed any sort of “inner dialog”. It seems anything that passes through the brain is parlayed directly to the tongue; if the thought being expressed is an insult to you, it will generally include a query for confirmation: “You’re not terribly clever, are you?” At least the English have developed the sophistication to keep their voices down which is a skill English children apparently don’t develop until adolescence. I recently spent some time on a small aircraft sitting opposite a young English girl who loudly narrated the progress of her camera’s zoom functionality which, due to the plane’s low cruising altitude, meant it was pointed out the window and in constant operation for the duration of the two-hour flight.

While I don’t consider myself a savage, I also don’t possess the dignity of soft speech; my voice carries as it is, let alone if I’m enthusiastic or angry, which between the two covers about 99.93% of my existance. I’m not sure why people place value on speaking quietly or, for that matter, having any sort of inner dialog. I think this is why I get on well with the English: I spend most of my life trying to sort out what the living beings around me are thinking; if they all had a readout on their forehead or spoke every thought that ever crossed their mind out loud, it would save me loads of time which would free me up for riding my bike.

Riding tubular tires is kind of like riding the tire equivalent of the English, except less cold. Riding tubular tires on deep-section rims is like riding the tire equivalent of English pre-adolescents. (I realized during proofing that I am getting dangerously close to pedaphile territory; this analogy isn’t as clever as it seems, is it? New paragraph, then.)

A well-made, hand-stitched tubular tire is a revelation to ride. The first time I rode tubs, it was aboard a set of Vredesteins which are excellent tires. I was immediately struck by how responsive they were, and how well they cornered. Then I rode a set of FMB Paris-Roubaixs and was struck by all those same things except they also felt like two cushions under my rims, carrying my smoothly from one imperfection to the next as I floated over the tarmac. The most striking thing was the sound: a hypnotic hum that brings the mind inexorably closer to becoming One with The V, the hum sooths and makes you more alert in equal measure; its pulsation reveals the smoothness or imperfections of your stroke with every revolution of the pedals. Clinchers can do much of the same, particularly when ridden with latex tubes, but nothing compares to a well-made tubular to sing the praises or holler the frailties of your stroke.

The Hum whispers to me when I’m climbing well; it shouts at me when I’m suffering worst (read: climbing badly), reminding me to stop pedalling squares and focus on the fluidity of the stroke. The more V is channeled into the pedals, the more difficult it becomes to achieve a Magnificent Stroke. It also hints that its easier to push round smoothly at a low cadence than it in in a high cadence; track racers who can turn round at 160rpm while delivering full power astound me.

The Hum has brought me closer to a Magnificent Stroke. It calls out when I stray, it soothes when I am near. I seek it, I embrace it. Always.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • Love this blog, but Jesus Christ: for someone claiming or suggesting that British people don't have an "inner dialogue," presumably in contradistinction to Americans (seriously?), you didn't appear to have used yours very much before posting one of the weirdest howlers of all time, i.e. "am I really going to start off a post with a premise so unbelievably stupid"?

    I'll generously assume this is typical American parochialism and ignorance on your part. Which is disappointing, considering the otherwise excellent nature of this site, but oh well.

    The reason Britons sometimes (key word there) appear to be more direct than North Americans is because they aren't wilting violets when it comes to verbal exchanges. A disagreeable or disagreeing statement is generally considered an invitation to begin a stimulating conversation. Hurt or offended by something? You could chuckle about it, or you could shrink into a corner in horror and plot your revenge via an Internet posting.

    You did the latter because you weren't intellectually or verbally equipped to deal with it. But really now, you didn't actually believe that, did you? The nation of Shakespeare and Oscar Wilde, Morrissey and John Lennon, Churchill and Darwin, no inner dialogue?

    We'll have to forget this posting ever happened, and never speak of the shame of it again, I think.

  • @frank

    @teleguy57

    Wow, talk about cosmic convergence. Yesterday I get an email from Belgianwerkx (cool name and just as cool a shop!) telling me for the first time in a long time I actually won something of value. And now this article..

    Since my knees don't let me run for CX or anything else, they were gracious enough to substitute a pair of Paris-Roubaixs. Now my first-world problem is deciding whether to put them on my Golden Tickets, my Aeolus D3 35s, or my Nucleons. Do I want to look like old-school Tommeke or new-school Faboo? I have a winter of tire aging to decide:)

    These are the sorts of problems you genuinely need to cherish. Much beer and wine will also be required to find the right answer.

    In other news, my 27 PRs just showed up at the shop (Branford Bike); the owner's been aging them for a year.

    Very sweet tires!  You should really enjoy them.  How often do you see yourself riding 27s?

    And you just added to my questions -- I'm pondering 25s vs 27s.  I think for 95% of my riding the 25s will be primo, but there is something about having some 27s.  Leaning toward 25s since I'll be riding them a lot, and some Vittoria Paves in 27.  Or I could go Veloflex Roubaixs in 25 and the special set being FMB 27s.... or, or, or...   arrgh, brain just blew up....

  • I had one, just a measly one, good year on the road. 69kg, muscle def and veins on my legs. Rode like a Belgian. Treated myself to a set of 303s and silk-cased FMB Competition 25mm tyres. The ride quality was truly buttery and the pleasure factor of every ride went sky-high. Now hovering around the high 70s kilo-mark and all definition having melted away, the wheelset hangs in a corner of my workshop as a permanent reminder of the best summer of riding, taunting me to get fit again. I'll do it - next year.

  • @Angling Saxon

    Love this blog, but Jesus Christ: for someone claiming or suggesting that British people don't have an "inner dialogue," presumably in contradistinction to Americans (seriously?), you didn't appear to have used yours very much before posting one of the weirdest howlers of all time, i.e. "am I really going to start off a post with a premise so unbelievably stupid"?

    I'll generously assume this is typical American parochialism and ignorance on your part. Which is disappointing, considering the otherwise excellent nature of this site, but oh well.

    The reason Britons sometimes (key word there) appear to be more direct than North Americans is because they aren't wilting violets when it comes to verbal exchanges. A disagreeable or disagreeing statement is generally considered an invitation to begin a stimulating conversation. Hurt or offended by something? You could chuckle about it, or you could shrink into a corner in horror and plot your revenge via an Internet posting.

    You did the latter because you weren't intellectually or verbally equipped to deal with it. But really now, you didn't actually believe that, did you? The nation of Shakespeare and Oscar Wilde, Morrissey and John Lennon, Churchill and Darwin, no inner dialogue?

    We'll have to forget this posting ever happened, and never speak of the shame of it again, I think.

    A la "You'll have to excuse him, he's from Barcelona" ... simple explanation:  He's Dutch.  We Yanks do not claim him and he does not claim us.

  • Why can I not upload photos anymore??? Both at work and at home I cannot get any photos to upload. I tried clearing my cookies/browser but to no avail. Anyone know what is going on? Anyone else have this problem?

  • @teleguy57

    Very sweet tires! You should really enjoy them. How often do you see yourself riding 27s?

    And you just added to my questions "” I'm pondering 25s vs 27s. I think for 95% of my riding the 25s will be primo, but there is something about having some 27s. Leaning toward 25s since I'll be riding them a lot, and some Vittoria Paves in 27. Or I could go Veloflex Roubaixs in 25 and the special set being FMB 27s.... or, or, or... arrgh, brain just blew up....

    The two-step questionnaire to decide:

    1. Can your bike accomodate 27s?
    2. Are you racing?

    If your bike can take them, why not? And if you're not racing, again, why not? For training, there's no real reason not to ride big rubber. The only reasons to decide against big tyres are clearance on the frame and aerodynamics. Rolling resistance is lower and cushioning higher - why not 27s on both sets of tyres?

  • @rfreese888

    @Angling Saxon Wilde was born in Dublin, but I take your point - the English do have inner dialogue-ability

    And Churchill's mother was American. Both Morrissey's parents were Irish. The rest were 100% English though . . .

  • @Monty Stubble

    I had one, just a measly one, good year on the road. 69kg, muscle def and veins on my legs. Rode like a Belgian. Treated myself to a set of 303s and silk-cased FMB Competition 25mm tyres. The ride quality was truly buttery and the pleasure factor of every ride went sky-high. Now hovering around the high 70s kilo-mark and all definition having melted away, the wheelset hangs in a corner of my workshop as a permanent reminder of the best summer of riding, taunting me to get fit again. I'll do it - next year.

    Fuck that, you might die between now and then. Life is too short to have such primo shit gathering dust. Put those fuckers back on the bike and ride the shit out of them. Ask not am I worthy, thoust doth ask thy self, are they worthy of me? Rhetorical, naturally.

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