Gianni really took it in the shorts after trying to sneak his way along with a stealth EPMS. Like an alcoholic falling off the wagon, the poor fellow can’t quite come to grips with the comfort of his old friend, the saddle bag. The solution lies in finding a light toolkit to carry along with him on his rides, one that fits in one pocket in totality.
There is an elegance in minimalism; a small multi tool with just the right combination of appliances is a beautiful thing. Latex inner tubes are a nice way to keep the spare tube package small and light. As are some compact tire levers. Certainly luck favors the prepared, but if you follow that to its logical conclusion, you will need something more than a saddle bag to carry your workstand, grease gun, and headset press. The Velominatus maintains their bike, and takes every reasonable precaution to replace those parts that might fail during a ride. It is what we do; the bicycle is our lifeblood – care for it, and it will care for you.
An equipment failure is, however, always surprising – in particular to the rider. Take, for example, my pedal which unwound itself from the spindle this week. Normally, when you push, the pedal follows a nice arch and the bicycle goes forward. Not so, should the body no longer be affixed to the axel.Should this occur, the pedal will move outwardly rudly and inflect an unpredictable union of top tube and groin. It is remarkable how little forward momentum is associated with pushing on a pedal which is no longer attached to the bicycle. It is also, I surmise, not a particularly elegant thing to watch.
Speaking of inelegance and no momentum, I also once broke a chain link climbing a steep grade in the rain, while carrying with a heavy back pack. Should you encounter such an incident yourself, you will take note of the remarkably short amount of time it takes to stop moving forward and fall in a confused and cursing heap at the roadside.
The point is, accidents happen, and no matter how much care you take of your equipment. They will happen while out on the road, possibly while far from home. We learn from them, and we take the necessary measures to reduce the likelihood of it happening again. Take my pedal failure; I don’t plan to carry a pedal wrench in reaction to this incident; I instead have now added the pedal to my list of items to periodically check over. As for the chain, it had incurred some corrosion because I was experimenting with a lighter oil. I now take care to check for (and take seriously) signs of rust on a chain.
Be sensible, be careful. Take care of your machine. Kneel and flash the sign of the Merckx in your V-Kit before submitting to the road, and get a nice light toolkit with the right tools for the incidents that are most likely to happen. Maybe you’ll have a ride ruined through an unlucky event, but learn from it and improve your maintenance program rather than endeavoring to carry every tool known to the Velominatus.*
Vive La Vie Velominatus.
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*This does not apply to cases where an incident can be life threatening such as in remote mountain regions or New York City.
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Given that I ride the same pedals as Frank, a thorough check just ensued. All good!
Tool improvisation can be crucial to avoiding the call home. I coached a guy a few years ago who had his bike assembled by the limpest wristed mechanic of all time. First it was the 'easy spin' brake levers on his aerobars, then the 'instatilt' seat clamp, and finally the 'auto-unlockring' on his cassette. I had to improv a lockring tool from 2 multitool's 3 mm hex keys. Jam and twist.
I still don't know what exactly happened, but a couple of weeks ago, I suddenly hear a dreadful noise and my bike stops rolling. I look at where my rear mechanics should have been and all I see is a huge clusterfuck of broken chain, rear derailleur, derailleur hanger and what used to be my spokes. Chain and rear derailleur had been replaced three days before by my LBS. In full compliance with Murphy's law, this wasn't on some commute, but in the Dolomites, about 20 km before the Stelvio. (This story does not have a moral or anything, just wanted to share my pain.)
Mate, that detachment is a common and well known flaw with the Time impact pedal - I used a great tool to fix the issue, called a Credit Card - threaded the pedal back on, pedalled home and brought some new pedals (Shimano Dura Ace 9000 - but everyone has different needs) using one!
Nothing like pedalling one legged to show just how square your pedal stroke is, eh?
@Weldertron i like that idea
I've been putting off getting a multi-tool but I just made it a top priority as I sit here and read the fail stories thinking how my only mechanical in my year or so of being a cyclist has been a flat on the indoor trainer.
Now, with that said, what Lezyne tool is best for my Tarmac (since I've fucked myself saying I haven't broke yet.)
I've had to call in the sag wagon twice for mechanicals over the years. Once, long ago, when my Campa Record "self extracting" cranks, self extracted. 60K from home. And the hex was something like 7.5mm so you couldn't just walk into a gas station and borrow one.
Then recently, I broke a pin on the chain. That was all me though. I had shortened a SRAM chain and re-used the pin (like you used to be able to do in olden times). Hit a steep ramp and "pop"; top tube to the wedding tackle, me laying on the ground wondering what the fuck just happened. Lesson learned.
@scaler911
I did the same thing to the VMH's Campa chain a five or six years ago. Just broke the chain to clean it, and reinstalled it using the pin. "Oh, it will be fine." Then she snapped it accelerating out of a stop sign. We were outside our LBS as it happened, so we just walked in and got a new chain.
Campa has the chain business sorted out. No special pins, just a section of chain you can buy that costs almost as much as a new chain.
@Deakus
I quicklink will fit in the baggie that you use to store the inner tube, tire levers, and patch kit.
@Gianni
New Bonts? Vaypor+?
Good way to hold your latex tube together nice and little.
@Xyverz
Bonts are indestructible. The carbon was scratched and the uppers were a little mangled, but I just glued it all back down and buffed it with some extra fine sandpaper, and they have been perfectly good ever since and in constant use since December when that crash happened.
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@Gianni
Yes. Orange Vaypor+s. Absolutely can't wait.