Categories: Accessories and GearEtiquetteKitLa Vie VelominatusTechnology

The Unexpected

A disembodied body.

Gianni really took it in the shorts after trying to sneak his way along with a stealth EPMS. Like an alcoholic falling off the wagon, the poor fellow can’t quite come to grips with the comfort of his old friend, the saddle bag. The solution lies in finding a light toolkit to carry along with him on his rides, one that fits in one pocket in totality.

There is an elegance in minimalism; a small multi tool with just the right combination of appliances is a beautiful thing. Latex inner tubes are a nice way to keep the spare tube package small and light. As are some compact tire levers. Certainly luck favors the prepared, but if you follow that to its logical conclusion, you will need something more than a saddle bag to carry your workstand, grease gun, and headset press. The Velominatus maintains their bike, and takes every reasonable precaution to replace those parts that might fail during a ride. It is what we do; the bicycle is our lifeblood – care for it, and it will care for you.

An equipment failure is, however, always surprising – in particular to the rider. Take, for example, my pedal which unwound itself from the spindle this week. Normally, when you push, the pedal follows a nice arch and the bicycle goes forward. Not so, should the body no longer be affixed to the axel.Should this occur, the pedal will move outwardly rudly and inflect an unpredictable union of top tube and groin. It is remarkable how little forward momentum is associated with pushing on a pedal which is no longer attached to the bicycle. It is also, I surmise, not a particularly elegant thing to watch.

Speaking of inelegance and no momentum, I also once broke a chain link climbing a steep grade in the rain, while carrying with a heavy back pack. Should you encounter such an incident yourself, you will take note of the remarkably short amount of time it takes to stop moving forward and fall in a confused and cursing heap at the roadside.

The point is, accidents happen, and no matter how much care you take of your equipment. They will happen while out on the road, possibly while far from home. We learn from them, and we take the necessary measures to reduce the likelihood of it happening again. Take my pedal failure; I don’t plan to carry a pedal wrench in reaction to this incident; I instead have now added the pedal to my list of items to periodically check over. As for the chain, it had incurred some corrosion because I was experimenting with a lighter oil. I now take care to check for (and take seriously) signs of rust on a chain.

Be sensible, be careful. Take care of your machine. Kneel and flash the sign of the Merckx in your V-Kit before submitting to the road, and get a nice light toolkit with the right tools for the incidents that are most likely to happen. Maybe you’ll have a ride ruined through an unlucky event, but learn from it and improve your maintenance program rather than endeavoring to carry every tool known to the Velominatus.*

Vive La Vie Velominatus.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Failures/”/]

*This does not apply to cases where an incident can be life threatening such as in remote mountain regions or New York City.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next The Entanglements of Rule #12 »

Previous « Velominati Super Prestige: Grand Prix de Plouay-Bretagne 2013

View Comments

Puffy says:

Sep 2 2013 at 5:26 pm

@ChrisO

@Chris

Yes that would work but there are two problems for me - first, I don't want my thought process involving which bike to ride to also include the need to swap the hubs, and second with the Powertap hub built in I'm not sure how advisable it is on a frequent basis.

Maybe one for the more mechanically minded or adventurous but I don't count myself among them. I'll just fork over cash in the knowledge I at least have someone to blame.

No problems there! The powertap (at least the G3 I had) has a natty "clip in" free hub. Zero tools, just pull it away from the hub complete with cassette attached. Snap in replacement and ride. Couldn't be an easier hub to do it on. It would add maybe 1min to the time required to swap wheels.
Puffy says:

Sep 2 2013 at 5:37 pm

@Marcus

@strathlubnaig one tip for cleaning hubs - after giving the hub a decent clean, try a ride or two (preferably without company or on your rollers so no one can witness the horror) with a tiny bit of rag (1cm or so wide) tied in a very loose loop around each of your hubs - so the rag can easily move from side to side. It gives your hub a better buff than something that gives really good buffs. Super effective for silver alu, but still good on all others.

It's more cosmetic than anything else. And thats why it is so very important.

Back in the day.... all my hubs had a strip of leather permanentaly looped around them for just that purpose... gawd I sound old now.
Nate says:

Sep 2 2013 at 7:38 pm

@ChrisO Are you getting 11s Shimano? Can you just run it with Campagnolo freehubs and cassettes? The spacing is close enough to identical to work very well.
xyxax says:

Sep 3 2013 at 7:23 pm

@Nate

@ChrisO Are you getting 11s Shimano? Can you just run it with Campagnolo freehubs and cassettes? The spacing is close enough to identical to work very well.

Nate, Zinn confirms your point in a post from today:

http://velonews.competitor.com/2013/09/bikes-and-tech/technical-faq/technical-faq-drivetrain-compatibility-for-10-and-11-speed_301392
xyxax says:

Sep 3 2013 at 7:25 pm

@Nate

Do you also use 220mm cranks?
Nate says:

Sep 3 2013 at 7:56 pm

@xyxax No, I am normal-tall, not crazy tall.
Ron says:

Sep 4 2013 at 12:05 pm

When will you start offering a Velominati kneeler on which one can flash the V-sign in the kit prior to rides?

Does anyone service their own BB30? My cross crankset died and in putting on new ones I decided to put on new BB bearings. After looking at the tech docs I decided to let the LBS install them. Seemed like a lot of tools were required (or 1-2) that I don't own and it was pretty complex. Maybe just scared because I've never worked on it before.

A broken chain and pedal? Damn, at least you should be good for awhile. It definitely seems like when stuff breaks, it goes off the rails and a few bikes at once have problems. Nothing throws me out of balance more than have a few bikes in disrepair.

Chains. Are you lads measuring them with a chain checker? Verniers? Just charting kilometrage and ditching them? I've found some chain checkers are poorly machined and tell you that even a brand new chain is 1/2 to 3/4 dead.

This came up in Gianni's EPMS post. What are you dudes carrying when cross training? I run tubeless and have been carrying what I carry when road riding. Overkill? I like to be self-supported, but generally I'm pretty close to home when cx riding and do carry a phone. Wondering if I could/should lighten the jersey pockets.
Ron says:

Sep 4 2013 at 12:19 pm

@ChrisO

@xyxax

@ChrisO

I'll be getting BB86 with my new build and have been trying to learn up.

Apart from the adapter (Campagnolo Ultra Torque BB86 Adapter?) a number of people are recommending Loctite 641 to head off the creaks that seem to particularly affect Campag with this BB. You probably know this already but just thought I'd mention it. Hope it works out.

OK no I hadn't had that piece of advice but the guy who will sort it out is a pretty good mechanic and his natural preference is Campag so I'm trusting him.

Yes that's the adapter. I ended up finding one at Competitive Cyclist in the US, but not before placing orders with three other places (Germany, UK and CA) and then being told they didn't actually have them.

What the heck was shipping to you from the U.S.?

This might be a good time to suggest we implement a worldwide network of pals who are willing to buy/pick up/purchase something that is in their neck and ship to someone in another neck of the woods. I'd still like to get some of the light products from Lumisash in NZ but they won't/didn't ship to the U.S.
frank says:

Sep 4 2013 at 6:36 pm

@Marcus

@strathlubnaig one tip for cleaning hubs - after giving the hub a decent clean, try a ride or two (preferably without company or on your rollers so no one can witness the horror) with a tiny bit of rag (1cm or so wide) tied in a very loose loop around each of your hubs - so the rag can easily move from side to side. It gives your hub a better buff than something that gives really good buffs. Super effective for silver alu, but still good on all others.

It's more cosmetic than anything else. And thats why it is so very important.

You, good sir. Are on fire.
unversio says:

Sep 4 2013 at 6:57 pm

Doesn't "ride for the unexpected" simply mean watch the line, watch for bottles, watch for potholes, watch for dogs, watch for crashes, watch for attacks, watch for who is answering those attacks, watch yourself answering those attacks. And finally watch for any mechanical inspection and repairs at home before the next ride.