Like almost anything in Japan, the creation of noodles is a deeply ritualized art. Recipes are closely guarded secrets, and cooks apprentice for many years in the creation of a restaurant’s specific type of noodle. Not surprisingly, this type of ritualization can be appreciated by the Velominati, and Cyclops (who happens to be a bit…
The Archives
When you’re digging deeper into Rock and Roll, you’re on a freight train headed straight for the blues. – Jack White The analog for this in Cycling is that as we dig deeper into cycling, we’re headed for The Mountains. Suffering is the altar of our sport, and Rule VV emphasizes the experience: the pain…
Before arriving in Paris I kept hearing, “Oh the best way to see Paris is on foot, walk the whole city, it's really the only way to experience it.” I'd rather be shot and thrown into a dumpster by the Seine. Walking is not for cyclists – it sours the guns, it's slow as hell….
When we designed the V-Kit in the winter of 2010, we thought we’d arrived at the ultimate Velominatus look. But, as it turns out, Spinal Tap Black isn’t for everyone. Apparently, not every climate is like that of the Pacific Northwest, where a heat advisory is issued when the mercury hits 30C (85F) and businesses…
The Rules, of course, are a sort of reference guide for those of us who may need a little bit of help making sure we act and look Fantastic at all times, whether on or near the bike. However much they are steeped in the history of our sport, they are by their very nature…
We can mimic the pros in many ways; kit, bikes, shaving our legs. Even if we’ll never ride like them, we can try (mostly in vain) to look like them. We’ll buy a piece of equipment because our favourite pro endorses it, or even adopt trends that the peloton have, such as alloy classic bend…
Paul Sherwen is generally seen as Phil Liggett’s counter-point, dutifully keeping the iconic duo’s race commentary on course, helping to convey to the English-speaking world the sport of Professional Cycling. Liggett, of course, has undeniably helped shape this great sport for Anglophones across the globe, having been the English voice of this sport since before…
The French call it la fringale. It’s one of the worst conditions that can befall a cyclist, this, when our reserves are tapped dry and yet we still have some distance to ride and some obstacle to cover. It’s happened to me twice in my life, and one of them was when I rode Haleakala in…
It is with an especially acute understanding of pushing oneself to ones limits, having just completed my second assault on Haleakala, with which I select this Guest Article, a first contribution from community member Scaler911. Especially acute in this case meaning that reading this account reminds me that I have no idea how to suffer…
When Icarus flew too close to the sun, it was more than just the heat from the sun that caused his mighty fall; it was also the brilliance of his pride. As I contemplate my next ride up the Haleakala Highway and Crater Road which leads to the summit of Haleakala, I can’t help but…
I know the feeling, Laurent. Sometimes I just want to give the cross winds a big, “Fuck You”, too.
Rule #22 is perhaps the most complicated Rule amongst the (currently) 85. Part of the complexity springs from the fact that we are all very attached to this small cotton cap. Off the bike, it was once a badge used to recognize one of our own; now it has been taken over by the hipster crowd which…
If we liked breathing stale, recycled air, we’d all take up a sport like wrestling or indoor fly-fishing. But we love the feel of a gale on our faces. We cherish the smell of cow manure filling our nostrils with its almost tangible grittiness. We hold scared the privilege to breathe in diesel fuel while…
The last Dutchman to win the KoM in le Tour was Gert-Jan Theunisse. He was also the last Dutchman to win atop Alpe d'Huez. The year was 1989 and I was too busy riding crotch-rockets, water skiing, and coiffing the plumage of my mullet to notice much else besides an American and fellow Minnesotan had…
Mates are supposed to be just that; mates. They are meant to be supportive, to help you out when you need them, to make your existence a good experience. My mates want to see me suffer. A couple of these 'mates' (who shall remain nameless, but not shameless) thought it would be a good idea…
There is little in life that compares to a ride along a quiet country road. This surely is the altar of our sport, where all the greatest qualities of cycling are brought into relief by the simple act of propelling yourself along by your own power. Despite being social creatures, the experience is heightened by…
Not an absolute; the beauty of Rule #5 is the graduated scale upon which it is measured. Rule #5 means to push yourself beyond the signals your body sends to stop what you’re doing, usually with ever-increasing urgency. It means to disobey reason and to surpass physical boundaries previously considered impassable. This is why Rule…
You’d think that with such an historical event taking place in France overnight that the Australian newspapers would be a sea of yellow and ‘we are the champions’ headlines this morning. Yet what I saw staring back at me when I visited one of the most respected newspaper websites (ie not a Murdoch tome) was a…
La Vie Velominatus is a life spent in the sway of the push and pull between function and aesthetics. The former, of course, is paramount, but not necessarily at the cost of latter. A prime example is the European Posterior Man-Satchel; many feel that its use is dictated by functionality, that to abandon the saddle bag…
I forget all maner of things these days. I forget that climbing isn’t fun; it hurts. I forget that I’m not good at it. I even forget what hurting feels like after it’s over, which I think might be at the root of why I keep going back for more. I forget my vows never…