La Vie Velominatus: Saleté Sacrée

Sacred Flemish grime covered our bikes on Keepers Tour.

A Velominatus maintains their machine with meticulous care, doting over it daily. A bicycle is a tool, but it is also a work of art, and serves us loyally in pursuit of our craft. We love them as though they were alive; as we grow together, the cracks and lines formed upon both our skins signifies the journey that has passed beneath our wheels.

A clean bicycle with a boastful luster inspires pride; I find myself constantly fighting the urge to carry mine upstairs to sit by the dinner table each time it has been cleaned, the bar tape freshly wrapped, or any old component swapped for a new one. I’m sure a psychiatrist would have a thing or two to say about it; I know the VMH does.

And yet, there are times when it pains me to clean my machine. After our first day on the Cobbles of Roubaix on Keepers Tour 2012, I left my bike dirty for two days because I couldn’t bring myself to rid her frame of the sacred dust that had accumulated after a day’s hard riding over some of the most hallowed roads in the world. A week later, I suffered the same condition the day after riding the route of De Ronde through hail, rain, and wind which left our machines covered in mud, manure, and Merckx knows what else. I think some part of me hoped the Flemish spirit held within all that grit would somehow be absorbed by my bike, that it would somehow help complete her soul.

But this kind of sacred dirt, the kind we don’t want to wash from our steeds, isn’t found only on the holy roads of Northern Europe. I found myself with the same reluctance to clean my Graveur after riding Heck of the North this year; a race held outside a small Northern Minnesota town nearly half a world from Flanders. I also serendipitously found photos Pavé William took of his Rosin after riding the Strade Bianche, documenting the covering of white dust upon its tubes. This condition afflicts us all, it would seem.

Any dirt becomes holy when we’ve suffered through it, when it took something from us in order to find its way onto our bikes and clothing. Sacred Dirt it is created spontaneously after prolonged exposure to The V.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • Talking about KT and cobbles, found this little snippet about the cobbles in the 2014 TdF;

    Whatever your position, think about this: cycling over cobblestones is an art. It is arguably as much of a discipline in road cycling as is sprinting, climbing, descending and time trialling. And with all those disciplines, some riders are good at them, while some are bad. In the discipline of their expertise, some riders become victims to the inherent risks through no fault of their own.

    We had no cobble races here in Oz, Melburn-Roobaix wasn't around in the 80's/90's. It was a great riding experience riding over the cobbled back lanes of Melbourne. As well as taking to the gravel roads in the Dandenongs and Warrandyte regions. Might still have a rim with dents in the sides in the man cave.

  • @Nate yeah I was similarly shod with 25mm Conti GP4 Seasons as we had 150k to cover with about 15k of gravel. They were being eyed off with some jealousy by a few of the others in my team who were running their standard 23's.

  • @Mikael Liddy

    @Nate yeah I was similarly shod with 25mm Conti GP4 Seasons as we had 150k to cover with about 15k of gravel. They were being eyed off with some jealousy by a few of the others in my team who were running their standard 23"²s.

    Im running 23mm Conti GP4000s up front and 25mm Conti GP4000s out back.

    25 is the new "black"

  • @Barracuda

    @Mikael Liddy

    @Nate yeah I was similarly shod with 25mm Conti GP4 Seasons as we had 150k to cover with about 15k of gravel. They were being eyed off with some jealousy by a few of the others in my team who were running their standard 23"²s.

    Im running 23mm Conti GP4000s up front and 25mm Conti GP4000s out back.

    25 is the new "black"

    I have been running 25mm tires and can't say I notice a very big difference from the 23mm I had on the last bike. I never did a side by side comparison but I feel like the differences are minimal.

  • @DCR

    @Barracuda

    @Mikael Liddy

    @Nate yeah I was similarly shod with 25mm Conti GP4 Seasons as we had 150k to cover with about 15k of gravel. They were being eyed off with some jealousy by a few of the others in my team who were running their standard 23"²s.

    Im running 23mm Conti GP4000s up front and 25mm Conti GP4000s out back.

    25 is the new "black"

    I have been running 25mm tires and can't say I notice a very big difference from the 23mm I had on the last bike. I never did a side by side comparison but I feel like the differences are minimal.

    Sshhhh, don't tell anyone, but not sure I can either !

    Having said that I do think the 25 out back gives me a softer ride, not sure about the differences in rolling resistance between front and back though!

    Had this set up for a while and the jury is still out !

  • @DCR @Barracuda biggest difference I've noticed is it feels much surer handling wise. Doubt Cuda would be getting that though given he's still got a 23 up front, get many splinters from sitting on that fence?

  • @frank

    @gaswepass

    @frank

    kickin and screaming the whole way. s'ok. sometimes better to not look the part when u can't represent.

    when u gonna come down and race in the dirt with the men? @scaler911 still shy about gettin that dirty, needs a little stab in the ass to make that happen.

    have to give u credit- seeing that picture inspired to go reprise that ride tomorrow

    If @scaler needs "a little stab in the ass", I'll leave that to you and your little prick.

    @Nate

    More dirt goodness.

    You posted that somewhere else, and it was just as awesome. Top marks. And I assume those are the FMB Roubaix tires?

    That climb was absolutely nuts.  That photographer got some absolutely stunning shots.  Craziest part is that this wasn't even the prettiest scenery we saw, not by a long shot.  Here's mine:

  • @Mikael Liddy

    @DCR @Barracuda biggest difference I've noticed is it feels much surer handling wise. Doubt Cuda would be getting that though given he's still got a 23 up front, get many splinters from sitting on that fence?

    Plenty of splinters this end !!   Fronts due for a change and just happen to have a crisp new Conti 25 in a box.

    May have to put it on front, will that stop the "clutch" going in when attempting Nettle Hill down these parts though ? ( insert the banned smiley face )

  • @DCR

    @Barracuda

    @Mikael Liddy

    @Nate yeah I was similarly shod with 25mm Conti GP4 Seasons as we had 150k to cover with about 15k of gravel. They were being eyed off with some jealousy by a few of the others in my team who were running their standard 23"²s.

    Im running 23mm Conti GP4000s up front and 25mm Conti GP4000s out back.

    25 is the new "black"

    I have been running 25mm tires and can't say I notice a very big difference from the 23mm I had on the last bike. I never did a side by side comparison but I feel like the differences are minimal.

    I've got bikes with both sizes - all but one have 700x25s, the remaining one is being used to burn through my last 700x23s, after which it'll be running 25s as well.  There's a discernable difference in how well they absorb bad road; the 25s do a much better job of it.

    The last two years I used 700x28s for Rouge-Roubaix (170 km with lots of bad road and ~40 km of gravel).  I'm going back to 25s for that race, since the bike I'm using next year won't fit the 28s.

  • @revchuck

    @DCR

    @Barracuda

    @Mikael Liddy

    @Nate yeah I was similarly shod with 25mm Conti GP4 Seasons as we had 150k to cover with about 15k of gravel. They were being eyed off with some jealousy by a few of the others in my team who were running their standard 23"²s.

    Im running 23mm Conti GP4000s up front and 25mm Conti GP4000s out back.

    25 is the new "black"

    I have been running 25mm tires and can't say I notice a very big difference from the 23mm I had on the last bike. I never did a side by side comparison but I feel like the differences are minimal.

    I've got bikes with both sizes - all but one have 700x25s, the remaining one is being used to burn through my last 700x23s, after which it'll be running 25s as well. There's a discernable difference in how well they absorb bad road; the 25s do a much better job of it.

    The last two years I used 700x28s for Rouge-Roubaix (170 km with lots of bad road and ~40 km of gravel). I'm going back to 25s for that race, since the bike I'm using next year won't fit the 28s.

    It could be that the vibrations are more tame with the 25mm tire. I attributed the difference to the change from a carbon frame to a titanium. I will have to do a side by side comparison with the next bike.

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