La Vie Velominatus: Saleté Sacrée

Sacred Flemish grime covered our bikes on Keepers Tour.

A Velominatus maintains their machine with meticulous care, doting over it daily. A bicycle is a tool, but it is also a work of art, and serves us loyally in pursuit of our craft. We love them as though they were alive; as we grow together, the cracks and lines formed upon both our skins signifies the journey that has passed beneath our wheels.

A clean bicycle with a boastful luster inspires pride; I find myself constantly fighting the urge to carry mine upstairs to sit by the dinner table each time it has been cleaned, the bar tape freshly wrapped, or any old component swapped for a new one. I’m sure a psychiatrist would have a thing or two to say about it; I know the VMH does.

And yet, there are times when it pains me to clean my machine. After our first day on the Cobbles of Roubaix on Keepers Tour 2012, I left my bike dirty for two days because I couldn’t bring myself to rid her frame of the sacred dust that had accumulated after a day’s hard riding over some of the most hallowed roads in the world. A week later, I suffered the same condition the day after riding the route of De Ronde through hail, rain, and wind which left our machines covered in mud, manure, and Merckx knows what else. I think some part of me hoped the Flemish spirit held within all that grit would somehow be absorbed by my bike, that it would somehow help complete her soul.

But this kind of sacred dirt, the kind we don’t want to wash from our steeds, isn’t found only on the holy roads of Northern Europe. I found myself with the same reluctance to clean my Graveur after riding Heck of the North this year; a race held outside a small Northern Minnesota town nearly half a world from Flanders. I also serendipitously found photos Pavé William took of his Rosin after riding the Strade Bianche, documenting the covering of white dust upon its tubes. This condition afflicts us all, it would seem.

Any dirt becomes holy when we’ve suffered through it, when it took something from us in order to find its way onto our bikes and clothing. Sacred Dirt it is created spontaneously after prolonged exposure to The V.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

DCR says:

Oct 25 2013 at 9:04 pm

Has anyone used the tubeless road wheels? Haven't really seen much on them. Whats the benefit?
EricW says:

Oct 25 2013 at 9:13 pm

@DCR I've seen some around, but never used them myself. I'm terrified of blowing a bead off at 100psi.
Teocalli says:

Oct 26 2013 at 3:50 am

@DCR

Has anyone used the tubeless road wheels? Haven't really seen much on them. Whats the benefit?

Yes I use them. Started with Bontrager and while they were OK and I had some "saves" by using them they did not seem great at holding air and would typically lose 10 psi or so every day after a ride. Changed to Schwalbe Utremo and they have been great, felt better on the road vs the Bontrager do not lose pressure and gave me a number of "saves" before I got a "terminal" on the Cogal so had to put a tube in. Not too much hassle. One theory about them is that when you have a blowout it is not as sudden as a tube - which was born out in my case - though I think @roadslave had a decent spray of latex behind me! I think there is less risk of rolling off the rim than a clincher as they are a darned sight harder to get on/off than any clincher I have used. So for me the benefit is that I have definitely saved some punctures on rides. There are also claims that the ride is near that of a tub and better than clincher/tube but as I had them from new on the current bike I can't really say.
mouse says:

Oct 26 2013 at 4:42 am

@DCR

Only downside I could see with lower pressure in a larger tire is the increased contact patch. May equal more grip but also more rolling resistance.

Counter intuitively, the opposite may be the case (within reason). When I race CX on hard bumpy surfaces and grass with small tussocks, it's advantageous to run less pressure as you get less 'rebound' of the tire against the obstacle. This rebound may be happening on a much smaller scale when dealing with rougher roads and chip seal, and *may* be why it feels smoother/faster with slightly less pressure. The smoother the road/track, the higher pressure may be more advantageous.
frank says:

Oct 26 2013 at 10:14 am

@Buck Rogers

@frank Oh shit.

Enter "rolling resistance and tire width/pressure" discussion number 27.

Woops. Sorry mate.
DCR says:

Oct 26 2013 at 2:37 pm

@Teocalli

@DCR

Has anyone used the tubeless road wheels? Haven't really seen much on them. Whats the benefit?

Yes I use them. Started with Bontrager and while they were OK and I had some "saves" by using them they did not seem great at holding air and would typically lose 10 psi or so every day after a ride. Changed to Schwalbe Utremo and they have been great, felt better on the road vs the Bontrager do not lose pressure and gave me a number of "saves" before I got a "terminal" on the Cogal so had to put a tube in. Not too much hassle. One theory about them is that when you have a blowout it is not as sudden as a tube - which was born out in my case - though I think @roadslave had a decent spray of latex behind me! I think there is less risk of rolling off the rim than a clincher as they are a darned sight harder to get on/off than any clincher I have used. So for me the benefit is that I have definitely saved some punctures on rides. There are also claims that the ride is near that of a tub and better than clincher/tube but as I had them from new on the current bike I can't really say.

Thanks for the info. I am in the market for a wheelset and was considering the tubeless route. I may have to give them a shot.
Weldertron says:

Oct 26 2013 at 2:50 pm

As far as ride quality, would Open Corsa SC and latex tubes not be pretty close to a tubular?
revchuck says:

Oct 26 2013 at 4:38 pm

@frank Re: 700x23s vs. 700x25s, I can believe that tire quality might be more important than size. One of these days, I'll have to replace the 110 tpi Michelins I'm using with some flavor of Vittoria Open Corsas or Veloflex Masters and find out for myself.
frank says:

Oct 26 2013 at 7:30 pm

@Weldertron

As far as ride quality, would Open Corsa SC and latex tubes not be pretty close to a tubular?

Ultimately depends on which tubular; but a good tub will blow your mind. And, tubs are round, and don't distort the way clinchers do, especially cornering.

CHANGE. YOUR. LIFE.
VbyV says:

Oct 26 2013 at 8:03 pm

Got some grime on the #1 today. The road I was on went to gravel, became double track, then entered a state forest and became basically a rocky stream bed. I forged ahead, hiked over the rocks, leaves, snow and sand until I crested and dropped out the other side on a muddy, slippery downhill. Never go back.