Pre Rule #26 photo
Words of advice for the lads: If your girlfriend is a very good cyclist and you two are going to get engaged, a nice racing bike is not a substitute for a ring. I tried it. In my cyclo-centric male brain, she needed a proper racing bike a lot more than she needed a ring. I made my case and lost. She did get the ring and the bike and me so I’m not sure it was total victory for her.
I mail-ordered the frame from Palo Alto Bike Shop. They were selling fine unbranded Italian steel frames. I built the wheels but denied her a gruppo. The unwritten subtext of Rule #12 is s’s (spouse’s) bike must be marginally nicer than your own. But I was unaware of that Rule back then so her bike was a functional Suntour groupsan. For the record, her next two #1 bikes are both nicer than mine. The Palo Alto bike was eventually repainted De Rosa pink, upgraded to Shimano, and ridden into the ground. Fast forward too many years and that bike is still hers. It is bike #3 and resides five thousand kilometers away, used each year when back visiting family. Now even the bike is losing its old home.
What am I going to do with my bike?
Ship it out here, obviously.
No, that’s too expensive. I’m going to sell it here.
WHAT? But it’s your pink bike, you can’t just sell it. It’s your pink bike…(muted sobbing deleted)
This is another debate I’m going to lose. She has all reasonable arguments on her side. Me, I leave no bike behind. I have two bikes back there and when my mother’s house sells, I’m shipping them both out here. Will they be ridden much? Hell no but that is not the point. These bikes have been my brothers-in-arms and I’m not leaving them behind. We have been together in the trenches for much too much time for me to abandon them. Is this a male thing? Do women have such emotional attachments for inanimate objects? Or is it a Velominati thing? Either way, my Bontrager hardtail mountain bike and my Bella steel road bike are going to join the rest of the stable out here. They may not see much action but I can still tune them up, keep them ready if and when the orders ever come down.
How does this all end? Obviously it ends up with me, as a failing eighty year old at my sunset years yard sale telling some puke he is not worthy to own any of my old bikes and he can fuck right off. Then, later, my widow will bring them all down to the police station to be sold at auction, for ten dollars each.
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View Comments
@wilburrox
I know, that bike is good looking, a Giro leaders bike from the early 1990s. Except for the rubbish pedals.
@Gianni
I actually have already gifted my two best bikes in my will to a friend. Of course he will be too f’ing old to ride them if we all die of old age. Better I should get mowed down by truck and somehow the bike is unscathed. This is depressing.
Holly crap this is funny, sad and true all at the same time.
Maybe a Viking Funeral Boat...filled with bikes, parts, kit and other shit from my garage all piled up on my dead ass and my wife throwing the first torch finally freeing up some floor space in the garage.
@Dean C
>>> finally freeing up some floor space in the garage <<<
I keep reminding myself that it's not a bike problem so much as it's a storage problem!
You're preaching to the choir, brother! I don't even have time to ride one bike enough, so wtf am I doing with a dozen of the damn things? Despite this they'd have to pry them from my cold, dead hands...
This is just me... and I'm only guessing here. BUT, I'm thinking that 30 years from now someone can post a picture of 2015 Speshy Tarmac, or Super Six Evo or F8 Pinarello or whatev... and you know what? It'll be the straight tubed steel frame bike that's modern from 2045 or classic from 1985 that'll still get everyone's attn. Just something about the lines. Yea yea yea the C bike is better in many respects except for one of the most important: what grabs ya. And this pink bike here? I mean, wtf? Why does this one reach out and grab ya? It just does. Just can't explain it but know it when ya see it right? Classic proportions, classic lines, just fits the eye so to speak ??
@Gianni " Do women have such emotional attachments for inanimate objects? "
My wife has an emotional attachment to me, so I guess they do !
@wilburrox
You need a bigger shed, not less bikes !
@Gianni
Great article... beautiful bike!
I am thinking of renovating my garage, to free up more storage space although I am closely testing rule nr 12 at the moment.
The only bikes I've ever got rid of have been stolen. And I am now in a position where I am violating N+1 by not coveting any new bikes. All I want to do is upgrade my Nr#1.
Mind you, if I get more into testing I will need a TT bike. And I've always fancied giving cyclocross a go...
A beautiful bike, no doubt.
I, personally, love the matching frame mounted pump (contradicts rule 30 I think).
However, it also reinforces my belief that rule 74 should have been unequivocal when it came to classic steel bikes. No computers.
David