Anatomy Of A Photo: The Gents Of Wevelgem
If you ever doubted for a minute that the hardmen of yore drafted the blueprint for The Rules, you need only look at these fine examples to be reminded that no matter how limited the resources they had to work with, they still managed to do a better job of Looking Fantastic than we ever could.
It matters not to them that having pockets in the front of the jersey gave the impression of gynecomastia, their aching backs ably supported by crude inner-tube mansierres. They didn’t care that their cycling caps were actually just handkerchiefs tied at the corners, or that the bulging gusset in their shorts needed to be covered up at all times when off the bike by a strategically placed hand. It meant they got to fraternise with the likes of Wevelgem Mayor Wally de Schmoi, infamous for his love of wine, women and tucking his tie into his pants.
That’s just the way they rolled back then. And if you think they gave a fuck, well, think again. They were too busy laying waste to fools like us to even consider rolling their socks back up.
I wonder what colour the Mayor’s face is in reality – was it blue? – could the smurfs have originated from Belgium rather than Khazakhstan, where they now reside?
That Dude to the left of the Mayor (our right) totally made me think of that “Dead Poet’s” movie scene where Robin Williams is showing the kids all those old photos and whispering “Carpe Diem”.
Clearly there is some element of pre elastane, sock deficiency at play here, but I have to say that these guys seems to have a casually deliberate air about the ankles that the likes of Wiggins and some of the other Rule #27 testers should take note of.
The barrel chested physique, reminiscent of a Company Sergeant Major gives me hope yet….great photo!
I particularly like the wing nut quick release and it appears that the gent with the durby hat is getting some eyeball liberty. The cobbles even looked relentless back in the day.
Man, those wool shorts sure were itchy! Also, every one of those guys weights twice what wee Schlecky weighs! Methinks the discussion is about who’ll win and how much they’ll pay for the privilege and how much the man in the derby gets as his cut.
@Deakus Ahh yes, the CSM. The angry man that won’t stop yelling at me and can beat my carcass to death with his evil eye!
The sheer manhood in this photo makes me want to find a foundry to work in before each ride!
@wiscot I reckon the man in the derby is thinking “smile for the photo with the dumb fuckers then it’s time for a four hour lunch at the sponsors expense before I need to be back on the podium”
@Chris
Damn, I guess I didn’t look hard enough to recognize Pat McQuaid’s grandad!
‘Mayor Wally de Schmoi, infamous for his love of wine, women and tucking his tie into his pants.’
should read:
‘Mayor Wally de Schmoi, infamous for his love of wine, women, and tucking his tie into his pants.’
Oxford comma for the win!
@TBONE
In British English the Oxford Comma is only used to avoid ambiguity so the original version is the way to rock the punctuation on this side of the pond
@the Engine
Except I speak Commonwealth English, so Oxford Comma it is!
@TBONE
Everyday is a school day In the V community. Still, I’d rather be a comma than a full stop.
Anyone want to enlighten me on proper pronunciation of the Belgian races. I know someone from there and would hate to butcher the pronunciation in front of them.
@TBONE
Oxford comma? Never heard of it and never seen its like. I’m with @the engine, Brett’s original is correct on this side of the pond too.
But to the photo. Who tucks his tie? On either side of the pond. And it’s great to see the sock style change over the years. There seems to be a Rule about one bidon being on the right side instead of one bidon having to go on the down tube. Which is a silly Rule, by the way.
@DerHoggz
Which races? You can probably find pronunciations online.
@Gianni
You ‘Murican? Cuz my teachers done told me to put commas after everything preceding the “and”. As to the tie, ostensibly it could be to prevent it from flapping around in the absence of a tiebar. I have seen some do it if the tie is too long and would show under the jacket, but his seems tied pretty long on purpose(?).
@Sauterelle
Yeah, but that would take excess work, and why not use the resource of all of you? Speaking of which, anyone know anything of Oli recently?
I’m not sure it’s that the tie is long, just that those are fucking high pants.
@DerHoggzs
Had a beer with Oli the other night…
Gynecomastia notwithstanding, I really dig those jerseys & would definitely sport one on my Sunday rides.
Dude in the Roche whatever jersey with the misplaced sense of modesty looks like he’s about ready to rampage.
Also: bidon contents. Discuss. My theory is cheap Calvados, straight up.
@Nate
Scotch and cocaine apparently, see no reason to argue with that, EPO of the day ?
@Barracuda Good point on the yeyo but it probably has more in common with the venerable amphetamine than the blood-boosters.
@Nate
He’s not being modest – he’s in the middle of an anecdote about how he told that sorry-ass bitch Tullio Campagnolo he don’t need no motherfuckin QR skewers cause his cock was so damned hard, last week he put a wheel on it to win Paris-Roubaix and then balled three podium hos and their sisters.
On the right of the picture in the “Direct” jersey is Hugh Janus the (in)famous British cobble specialist. He’s doing the impression of a pair of scissors that allowed him to eke out a living on the variety circuit after his road racing career was cut short by the Flemish mafia for suggesting that Don “Crazy Trousers” de Schmoi give up on the blind Corsican tailor that he’d been frequenting in memory of his mother and buy something that actually fitted him in the local C&A store.
Great photo. We British doctors are no longer permitted to wear ties at work but when I was a junior, it used to be common to see older physicians arrive on the ward with not only ties but also stethoscopes tucked into their trousers (and presumably their underpants). At least no-one complained about it being cold…
I was just reading about the rigors of racing in wool garments in an interview with Stan Brittain – a local rider who rode the Tour in the 50’s. I think I posted a link to this free digital magazine before but there’s a new issue now – edited by a clubmate of mine, there are some cracking photos:
http://www.spincyclemag.com/
@the Engine
Speaking of rock the punctuation – the Oxford Comma in question, here’s a little sing-a-long by Vampire Weekend
To the original ‘article’, the ‘gents’ above back then were the ‘pro’ benchmark at ‘looking fantastic’. (Did I just overuse the comma? Not sure to use ” or ‘. Prefer ‘ it’s neater.)
As a juvenile kid in the club, I was handed down a woolen , yellow jersey with two button up pockets on the front. Geez I was looking fantastic waay back in the early eighties!
@heinous
Is that some sort of loony H&S directive from Brussels or PC bullshit brought in during the Blair/Brown years to stop you looking like a well educated professional and help you fit in with the proles?
@Chris
Not – it was just that they decided that growing penicillin on one’s neck wear probably wasn’t the best idea they’d ever had. I believe some have even been persuaded that they should wash their hands.
@Chris Spot on. Ostensibly in the name of “Infection Control”, the ties went out with the white coats and all without a shred of evidence to support the strategy. The only ones wearing (shiny) suits and ties now are the hospital managers. I can’t say too much more or I’ll be packed off to the gulag…
@the Engine I’d always been led to believe that a certain level of exposure to nasties was a good thing for our immune systems. Kids that play outside in the mud generally being healthier than those who are kept inside by nervous mums that ate constantly wiping down any available surface with a disposable detol wipe.
That’s certainly been the explanation Mrs Chris uses for the state of the inside of her car.
@heinous from what they were saying on the radio this morning you want to threaten to shout very loudly about it. There’ll soon be someone round from the trust with a suitcase full of cash and a confidentiality agreement.
It’s a win/win scenario, you get a hundred grand or so to fund a summer following the racing in Europe and when you spent it and go looking for a new job, they can’t say you were rubbish.
@Chris
Although if you’re in your 90’s and have a large hole in your abdomen you might not be quite so keen to take your chances.
The inside of my car with muddy bike bits, sweaty kit and the debris of transporting #1 child on her international sporting career, would, if sampled properly, have more unknown bugs in it that any given square kilometre of rain forest.
@the Engine
Bunkum! The principles of combat medicine insist on mud to help fill the holes (or sphagnum moss if available) and the use of leaf cutter ants to suture the wound ! Rule #5!
Fuck Me! It’s 12 degrees C outside, this means a ride sans arm or leg warmers and short gloves…Spring is temporarily here!
@Deakus
Hope you’ve done your guns
@ChrisO
Wow, that is the type of thing not normally seen ’round these parts. But, I think you’re onto something, Chris!
@Daccordi Rider
This pic was taken back in the day when men’s trousers had a waist band and were actually was worn around the waist. Not hip band or barely-hanging-onto-your arse band, but a waist band with braces (suspenders) Mayor Wally was secure. The man is deliberately smart.
@wiscot
Not to mention that trousers like that have rather voluminous pockets that allow for a reasonable amount of movement. Hence the gritted teeth and sly grin of a man lost in the moment.
M. Roche has just noticed and is pointing it out to M. Direct. The flat capped flunky has noticed that they’ve noticed and is frantically working out how to effect the cover up.
@wiscot
wiscot…I think you are supposed to yell, “You kids get off my lawn!” now…
@Chris
These men have just seem the recently posted Kylie Minogue Agent Provocateur video. Mayor Wally is confident he can watch it in comfort, unlike the rider to his right. Oo-err missus indeed.
Though twelve months always seems to go quickly, I forget what it’s like trying to shake off the winter excess & get going with the spring riding. I’m also actually doing a lot of work this year, instead of riding my bike so far & fast that I am too tired to remember all that I have to finish up.
Anyone else experiencing the doldrums of a long winter? I’m just not that excited about pedaling these days & I’m not exactly sure why. Seems more like a chore than a blast.
@Ron Maybe time to shake up the routine? I was off the training completely for 2 months thanks to a hockey injury followed by a bout of Norwalk. Found it a little tough to get back into until I signed up for a Fondo and got involved with a charity ride. I am matching money for mileage and now I am training like a mad man as I already owe 600 km’s in training mileage. It has given me more of a purpose to ride the trainer till I can get back outside.
Those are some big honking tires they are riding in that photo… If I had to guess I say at least 28c and maybe in excess of 30. Anyone have any idea what the actual tire widths were back in the day of this photo?
Separately, I really like this photo because it reminds me of cycling’s blue collar, hard man roots. The sport today (at least the Grand Tours) is frequently dominated by bulimic looking prima donnas who weigh about 140lbs soaking wet and have the fragile egos of a 13 year old girl (Schleck). The gents in this photo look like they could be boxers or equally at home in a bar fight as they were in a group sprint. My kind of riders…
@Dr C
The Smurfs are Belgian: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Smurfs
Love the beautiful white shirt of the Mayor…
Oh, that’s not the Sartorialist!
@Pedale.Forchetta
Yes, a clean shirt is important. My great-grandfather Giuseppe Musca always wore a crisp, clean white shirt tucked neatly into his pants, which sat around the full diameter of his ample belly, which was about two and a half feet off the floor. No one could quite say why, but the women adored him. Maybe it was the shirt.
Roche has some meat on his arms.
Schmoi has a proper fuckin’ hat there. No person I know, or have met, could were that that well. Douchebag Portland hipsters try, but then, they’re douchebags. From Portland. Awesome shot.
@the Engine
I’ve worked in medicine for almost 23 years now, the last 10 in the OR. I wash my hands so much I’m convinced they’re totally sterile. But then at home, I have 2 small dogs, 4 chickens, random cats, and a 6 y/o. And we garden. Probably growing the next super strain of ebola over here.
@ChrisO
Strong work, much appreciated here. You other pom gits talking about infections need to Stay On Target.
@Deakus
You are complaining of gout (you’re in that crowd right? ) but the real problem is at 12 c your knees should still be covered.
@Anjin-san This is why the classics fucking rock.