If you ever doubted for a minute that the hardmen of yore drafted the blueprint for The Rules, you need only look at these fine examples to be reminded that no matter how limited the resources they had to work with, they still managed to do a better job of Looking Fantastic than we ever could.

It matters not to them that having pockets in the front of the jersey gave the impression of gynecomastia, their aching backs ably supported by crude inner-tube mansierres. They didn’t care that their cycling caps were actually just handkerchiefs tied at the corners, or that the bulging gusset in their shorts needed to be covered up at all times when off the bike by a strategically placed hand. It meant they got to fraternise with the likes of Wevelgem Mayor Wally de Schmoi, infamous for his love of wine, women and tucking his tie into his pants.

That’s just the way they rolled back then. And if you think they gave a fuck, well, think again. They were too busy laying waste to fools like us to even consider rolling their socks back up.