Anatomy of a Photo: The Shoulders of Giants

The question tackled here is of carrying the bicycle, should it require carrying. The non-cyclist is perhaps more inclined to consider carrying their bicycle than is the Cyclist. Examples that come to mind include the navigation of a giant mud pit or a steep twisty narrow snowy descent, where the uninitiated may erroneously contemplate the likelihood of survival between riding the bike as opposed to walking or carrying it. Other examples might be bunny-hopping a 1 meter vertical wall where a slight miscalculation may result in going from being Awesome to merely being OK.

But if one thing is certain, should matters come to carrying the bicycle, it is the shoulder that should be employed for this task, as time-tested by cyclocross riders for well over a century. No further research is required to resolve this matter. And, should the question of leather handles come up, I put it to you thusly: are you a giant hipster douche nozzle, or are you a hardman with Ultimate Rule #5 Leg and balls so big you could wear a sun visor with a gauze stocking cap?

Thanks to KRX10 for making me aware of this abomination of a leather handle.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • every time I take my bike out I have to carry it up and down 3 flights of stairs, in cleats! FML. note to self: pay for the damn elevator key already!

  • See the discarded bike in the mud at the bottom of the hill (left edge of photo). The rider must be lying dead and out of the photo.

  • @Steampunk Ah, I had always thought that it was Einstein who had said that.  Guess the Canadian professeur deserves his tenure afterall.

  • 1. Cyclocross involves riding a bike over uncertain terrain; therefore

    2. Crashes are expected when riding cyclocross; therefore

    3. Cyclocross is dangerous; and therefore

    4. I fear participation in cyclocross.

    Cyclocross is, like galavanting around the Cosmos, a game for the young. Doesn't mean it isn't cool to watch, get piss drunk while observing, marvel at the skills etc etc. It just isn't for me.

  • Fucking hardcore photo!  Cannot wait for CX season.  The West Point cycling team supposedly races a ton of them and I will be helping out the team starting this fall upon arrival!  (Although "helping" is a loose term.  I think I will probably be more of a mascot than any real help!)

  • @Nate

    It's only August 10.  Summer is still in full swing.  Why are we talking about cyclocross?

    For the same reason I talk about anything here: its on my mind (I'm building my cx bike). You didn't think this site was about you guys, did you?

Share
Published by
frank

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago