Categories: Anatomy of a PhotoCyclocrossThe Hardmen

Anatomy of a Photo: The Shoulders of Giants

The question tackled here is of carrying the bicycle, should it require carrying. The non-cyclist is perhaps more inclined to consider carrying their bicycle than is the Cyclist. Examples that come to mind include the navigation of a giant mud pit or a steep twisty narrow snowy descent, where the uninitiated may erroneously contemplate the likelihood of survival between riding the bike as opposed to walking or carrying it. Other examples might be bunny-hopping a 1 meter vertical wall where a slight miscalculation may result in going from being Awesome to merely being OK.

But if one thing is certain, should matters come to carrying the bicycle, it is the shoulder that should be employed for this task, as time-tested by cyclocross riders for well over a century. No further research is required to resolve this matter. And, should the question of leather handles come up, I put it to you thusly: are you a giant hipster douche nozzle, or are you a hardman with Ultimate Rule #5 Leg and balls so big you could wear a sun visor with a gauze stocking cap?

Thanks to KRX10 for making me aware of this abomination of a leather handle.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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RedRanger says:

Aug 10 2012 at 4:15 pm

@Buck Rogers I cant wait till this comes out

BTW have you all seen Black Dynamite? It had me rolling
Steampunk says:

Aug 10 2012 at 4:16 pm

@frank

If I was going to suggest something for you not to fuck around with, it would be space shuttles and shit like that, but we have different ideas of what a risk is.

Marriage to an Irishwoman, it turns out, ranks on the high risk list...
Buck Rogers says:

Aug 10 2012 at 4:26 pm

@RedRanger Holy shit! I must be living under a rock or something as I had not heard about this film. Man I love Westerns and Quentin is one of my favorite modern directors. Says the release is Christmas, eh? Sounds like I need a night out during Christmas vacation!
the Engine says:

Aug 10 2012 at 4:30 pm

@frank

@frank damn dyslexia. I'm talking about the brilliant bloke on the far RIGHT.

This chap.

He's pouring black powder down the barrel.

Definitely.
eightzero says:

Aug 10 2012 at 4:34 pm
@frank
@eightzero

1. Cyclocross involves riding a bike over uncertain terrain; therefore

2. Crashes are expected when riding cyclocross; therefore

3. Cyclocross is dangerous; and therefore

4. I fear participation in cyclocross.

Cyclocross is, like galavanting around the Cosmos, a game for the young. Doesn't mean it isn't cool to watch, get piss drunk while observing, marvel at the skills etc etc. It just isn't for me.

Here a few tips about off-road riding:
1. Don't think about crashing
2. Don't think about crashing
3. You're going slower than on the road, so crashing isn't so bad. On any given MTB ride, I expect to crash a few times at least.
4. The ground is in almost every case softer than tarmac. In fact, the hardness of the ground is normally inversely proportional both to your likeliness to crash and your speed.
5. Don't think about crashing
If I was going to suggest something for you not to fuck around with, it would be space shuttles and shit like that, but we have different ideas of what a risk is.
Space shuttles and shit like that are fucking dangerous too, but I prefer to watch, get piss drunk while observing, marvel at the skill, etc etc....wait I did that...all while thinking about crashing. Did that too, IIRC...
Nate says:

Aug 10 2012 at 4:38 pm

@the Engine

@frank

@frank damn dyslexia. I'm talking about the brilliant bloke on the far RIGHT.

This chap.

He's pouring black powder down the barrel.

Definitely.

Almost but not quite. He's getting ready to launch a mortar round. After all, we've already established that this is a 'cross race, and cross fans love doing sillystupid stuff for shits 'n giggles.
mouse says:

Aug 10 2012 at 5:21 pm

@Nate

You do realise that there is an opposite side of the world where the seasons are reversed. Crazy I know. We're bang in the middle of Cross season down here in Aus and NZ.
marko says:

Aug 10 2012 at 6:35 pm

So although I didn't carry my bike anyplace today, I did put the CX-jets back on after riding the slicks all summer. The jets are back on to start training on gravel for the Heck of the North in a month and change. So yes, I'm thinking about fall riding but am happy there's so much summer left.

And after tipping over on the Koppenberg after a wheel slip I can attest to needing to carry a road bike. That said, I didn't have to carry it far as my boy Alex at Pave gave me a jump start.
Buck Rogers says:

Aug 10 2012 at 7:05 pm

Looking over the thread leadhoto again it blows me away how cool all the spectatorsnare dressed. Nice jackets and shoes and all those fuckin' bomber chapeau. Man, I need to get me one of those hats!
Buck Rogers says:

Aug 10 2012 at 7:07 pm

Ah, that would be "lead photo" and "spectators are", not what the Grand Marnier had me writing.