Categories: Anatomy of a PhotoCyclocrossThe Hardmen

Anatomy of a Photo: The Shoulders of Giants

The question tackled here is of carrying the bicycle, should it require carrying. The non-cyclist is perhaps more inclined to consider carrying their bicycle than is the Cyclist. Examples that come to mind include the navigation of a giant mud pit or a steep twisty narrow snowy descent, where the uninitiated may erroneously contemplate the likelihood of survival between riding the bike as opposed to walking or carrying it. Other examples might be bunny-hopping a 1 meter vertical wall where a slight miscalculation may result in going from being Awesome to merely being OK.

But if one thing is certain, should matters come to carrying the bicycle, it is the shoulder that should be employed for this task, as time-tested by cyclocross riders for well over a century. No further research is required to resolve this matter. And, should the question of leather handles come up, I put it to you thusly: are you a giant hipster douche nozzle, or are you a hardman with Ultimate Rule #5 Leg and balls so big you could wear a sun visor with a gauze stocking cap?

Thanks to KRX10 for making me aware of this abomination of a leather handle.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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Xyverz says:

Aug 10 2012 at 9:58 pm

@Xyverz

@Adrian

I carried my bike on and off like that for 10km the other day after my chain broke.....serious sense of humour failure I can tell you.....

I carry a spare Master Link in my EPMS for just this reason.

(Said EPMS is soon to be replaced by a Lyzene pouch or something similar)
TBONE says:

Aug 10 2012 at 10:04 pm

There's no way in hell that any of those barriers that are being hopped are 100cm high. No way.
itburns says:

Aug 10 2012 at 11:19 pm

@frank

@TommyTubolare

Hey, I see we (Nederland) made it into the final for the 4Ã—100 relay. Did someone tell the team that the Nazi's were in that heat? The last time I saw the Dutch run so fast was during the invasion.

I think they hinted that authentic stroopwafel was at the finish line.
ten B says:

Aug 11 2012 at 12:22 am

@frank

@TommyTubolare

Hey, I see we (Nederland) made it into the final for the 4Ã—100 relay. Did someone tell the team that the Nazi's were in that heat? The last time I saw the Dutch run so fast was during the invasion.

Given their origins, a greater threat would have been the Dutch West India Company.
The Oracle says:

Aug 11 2012 at 2:39 am

@frank

@The Oracle

For road cycling? The only time you should be carrying your bike on your shoulder is if you lauch off the road on the descent of some Alpe in France after overcooking one of the hairpin turns. Otherwise, what the fuck are you doing off the bike?

You've obviously never been to the Koppenberg in the wet.

I'm not saying you should go about carrying your bike. I'm saying that should some tragic turn of events conspire to cause you to need to carry your bike, do it Properly. Frame over the shoulder, holding the handlebar.

Okay, fine. You can carry your bike after flying off hairpin turns in the Alps, OR when riding the Koppenberg in the wet!

(And yes, holding the bars to keep the wheel from flopping about is the proper method.)
wiscot says:

Aug 11 2012 at 6:30 am

@The Oracle

@frank

@The Oracle

For road cycling? The only time you should be carrying your bike on your shoulder is if you lauch off the road on the descent of some Alpe in France after overcooking one of the hairpin turns. Otherwise, what the fuck are you doing off the bike?

You've obviously never been to the Koppenberg in the wet.

I'm not saying you should go about carrying your bike. I'm saying that should some tragic turn of events conspire to cause you to need to carry your bike, do it Properly. Frame over the shoulder, holding the handlebar.

Okay, fine. You can carry your bike after flying off hairpin turns in the Alps, OR when riding the Koppenberg in the wet!

(And yes, holding the bars to keep the wheel from flopping about is the proper method.)

It's an awfully wee picture, but unless I'm mistaken, that's Mr. Sherwen and Monsieur Fignon enjoying a stroll upon the stones.
Buck Rogers says:

Aug 11 2012 at 8:42 am

@wiscot Good call!!! I had not noticed it but I think that you are absolutely correct!
tessar says:

Aug 11 2012 at 8:44 am

Wait, shoulder it on the top-tube? Doesn't work out for me, for some reason. I always hang the saddle on my shoulder (the Arione is quite comfortable from that side, too!), wrapping my arm around the entire triangle, with my hand holding the downtube and front wheel to stabilize. Maybe it works out easier for shorter people with smaller frames? Plus, when you have two bidons in the cages and the brake-cable running below the top-tube, it's quite uncomfortable.

@sgt

@unversio

Yeah, that rifle thingy is called a "camera". It used "film" to take a "photograph". Kids these days.

The Russians used to produce this little piece of awesome. Talk about rifle thingies...
Buck Rogers says:

Aug 11 2012 at 8:51 am

@tessar Fuck me!! That's cool! Sure that is not from a James Bond movie?
ChrisO says:

Aug 11 2012 at 9:28 am

Imagine having that in your hand luggage...