Categories: Anatomy of a PhotoCyclocrossThe Hardmen

Anatomy of a Photo: The Shoulders of Giants

The question tackled here is of carrying the bicycle, should it require carrying. The non-cyclist is perhaps more inclined to consider carrying their bicycle than is the Cyclist. Examples that come to mind include the navigation of a giant mud pit or a steep twisty narrow snowy descent, where the uninitiated may erroneously contemplate the likelihood of survival between riding the bike as opposed to walking or carrying it. Other examples might be bunny-hopping a 1 meter vertical wall where a slight miscalculation may result in going from being Awesome to merely being OK.

But if one thing is certain, should matters come to carrying the bicycle, it is the shoulder that should be employed for this task, as time-tested by cyclocross riders for well over a century. No further research is required to resolve this matter. And, should the question of leather handles come up, I put it to you thusly: are you a giant hipster douche nozzle, or are you a hardman with Ultimate Rule #5 Leg and balls so big you could wear a sun visor with a gauze stocking cap?

Thanks to KRX10 for making me aware of this abomination of a leather handle.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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graham d.m. says:

Aug 12 2012 at 7:03 pm

@scaler911perhaps an appropriate helmet like this:

"Ehhh, I was going to be working on my secret project." -Bret

"Your helmet that looks like your hair?" -Jermaine

"Yes." -Bret
graham d.m. says:

Aug 12 2012 at 7:04 pm

edit *jemaine*
Cyclops says:

Aug 12 2012 at 8:38 pm

I'm gonna try this embedding thing again:
Cyclops says:

Aug 12 2012 at 8:42 pm

@graham d.m.

@Cyclops

Click Here to see it.

Fan-freaking-tastic! That gave me a Jensbone! Although, not recognized in the lexicon the "Jensbone" seems to work because that video made me that excited!

I think it's called "voigty".
DerHoggz says:

Aug 14 2012 at 4:59 am

Well, it appears as though I will be living on the fourth floor this year. Combined with my bikes rear brake cable be on the bottom of the TT biased to the non-driveside means shouldering won't be an option. Can't wait to look like an addled duck going up all those stairs.
brianc says:

Aug 14 2012 at 8:52 am

@Nate

because, because, because, because of the wonderful things it does...

First race here (for me) in the mid-Atlantic is 9/9. Time for drills and getting the CX groove back on. Things should [hopefully] go better this year for my first* full CX season. Can't wait.

* Lat year was to be my first full season - bought a new bike and everything. Then tore my right calf and was off the bike for nearly two months. Killed my conditioning though I still managed a few races just for the experience.
brianc says:

Aug 14 2012 at 9:23 am

@Ron

G'rilla - that's awesome. I've never really practiced the skills involved, more of a "let's go out and ride cross fast...". I just try to keep up with dudes who've done it longer. Never really had to shoulder or carry or run much in my races.

I was hoping a few guys I know would be the Cross Sensei I need, but they seem oddly reluctant. Either they're too lazy to teach a new guy or I sometimes feel as if they don't want to show me what's behind the curtain.

Anyway, right now only having time for about an hour of riding a day. That's too short for me to get into the rhythm of road riding. But, reading that I see I can use the hour-long cross rides I've been doing not just to ride, but also as a bit of running, shouldering, skills practice. Then I'll really feel like I'm getting a lot of cycling squeezed into that hour.

I have this theory on skills drills and the like with CX. Now I'm not saying they're unimportant and can't make a difference - but what I am saying is they strike me as similar to swapping out road components for a few grams of weight savings. They will both help to some degree or other but they're attacking a shortcoming (doing well/winning) with minimal effort (and in the case of road components, maximum cost) when the real problem is the engine. Again, not coming to a full stop for barriers or being able to shoulder and remount on the run is certainly helpful - but until you're off the podium b/c of a botched remount, spend more time hammering and less time working on your stutter-step remount that's costing you mostly nothing but style points.
Nate says:

Aug 14 2012 at 9:35 am

@brianc

I guess if you are in the large parts of the country that has had a summer from hell I can't blame you for looking forward to fall.
Steampunk says:

Aug 17 2012 at 4:20 pm

Efrain Forero during the first stage of the first Vuelta a Colombia (1951). Shouldering a bike how it's supposed to be done.