Categories: La Vie VelominatusThe Hardmen

Shadow Boxing

THe shadow foretells the ending.

In the 1989 Tour de France, Laurent Fignon was on the rivet. Close to collapse. But his Directeur Sportif noticed that Greg LeMond’s shoulders were rocking; he knew from the time he spent coaching Greg that this was the telltale sign of his imminent collapse. He ordered Fignon to attack, and he took the Yellow Jersey. He could read the signs that no one else saw and took advantage. I would be willing to bet that LeMond himself was not even as attuned to his condition at that moment because it is so very hard to gauge your own sensations when you’re Fucked with a capital Fucked.

I ride with my shadow more than anyone else, with the possible exception of my reflection who comes out any time my shadow retreats to the clouds and the rain falls down to provide the Flemish Mirror. (Which is arguably more often than not, given my residence in the Pacific Northwest.)

Through this, I have come to learn that my shadow whispers to me; it lays bare all the secrets I have not yet discovered about myself and allows me to see what is internally unseeable.

A Velominatus must learn to read their shadow; to the untrained eye it hobbles about in distorted patterns that reveal nothing but awkward manipulations. We can, however, learn to extract from that amorphic blackness the telltale signs of everything from our level of fitness, our weight, or even whether we are about to bonk.

I watch my shadow for signs of how I am pedaling. Is the rhythm I feel in my legs mirrored by the inflection of myself on the road beneath me? Do I feel smooth but the stroke in my shadow ragged, or do I feel ragged but still my shadow is smooth? One is a manifestation of reality, the other is a manifestation of perception. When I feel as bad as the shadow looks, I know the Man with the Hammer lurks nearby.

I can gauge my condition based on how my shadow looks. Are my shoulders thin and sharp in my shadow, or are they a bit rounded? The first sign that I am putting on weight is when the shadow reveals a roundness that the mirror and the scale does not reflect.

Today, there was an ease to my shadow that coaxed me on to drive harder; it was almost half-wheeling me, teasing me into putting another dose of V into the pedals. Today, the shadow came up wanting. Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow, the shadow will reveal new secrets.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Ccos says:

Jun 12 2015 at 5:26 am

When the sun is to your back, checking out your shadow is a little like riding by shop windows and checking your reflection "to assess your position on the bike" without having to explain yourself to others when caught doing so.
wiscot says:

Jun 12 2015 at 5:30 am

@The Engine

@wiscot

@Ruud

Damn! I’ll be in sunny Scotland for the 4th. I could show you some new roads I found that are way better than dealing with all the Holy Hill traffic. They’re out by Theresa, Lomira, Campbellsport and Kewaskum. in a half hour you might see 6 cars. Did an 80kms loop last night and it was perfect – warm, not much wind, dry and light on traffic for the most part. Roads surfaces varied but were generally great to tolerable.

Hope all’s well in Holland!

Hey @wiscot are you here with or without a bike and exactly where will you be and do you have time in your schedule for a hastily arranged Cogal?

Hey Engine,

Thanks for asking. I'll be in Helensburgh but sans velo. I also have a pretty packed schedule considering I'm in country for only two weeks and the reason for going in a very big birthday for my mother. It's the first summer trip back in four years.
frank says:

Jun 12 2015 at 6:42 am

@Ccos

When the sun is to your back, checking out your shadow is a little like riding by shop windows and checking your reflection “to assess your position on the bike” without having to explain yourself to others when caught doing so.

Anyone who would question why you're looking at yourself in shop windows doesn't deserve an explanation.
frank says:

Jun 12 2015 at 6:43 am

@Nate

From this morning’s ride.

When the angle of the sun is ride I like to use my shadow to check if my back is straight.

That better not be an EPMS lurking under your ass.
frank says:

Jun 12 2015 at 6:46 am

@Owen

My shadow is a nice guy. When the sun is behind me, he makes it look like I have Fantastic Guns, even though I know they’re more like Skinny Pins. Something about a trick of the light, but I’ll take it.

When the sun is at just the right angle, I see a strong resemblance to Fabian. Talk about an optical illusion!

@wiscot

As I mostly ride solo, my shadow is usually my only company. It’s ok, it never complains about the pace or needs to stop or guzzles my food and water, it just comes along for the ride. Biggest drawback is that it never takes its turn at the front.

This.

Cyrille Guimard? Man, I need to write a piece on him. Craftier than a whole den of foxes who have graduated from crafty school.

Indeed.

Speaking of tells that a rider is hurting, Coppi apparently had a vein that showed up when he was struggling and riders knew to look for it.

..which happened exactly how often?
frank says:

Jun 12 2015 at 6:47 am

@The Engine

I dropped my shadow last night – just saying

He sets it up...

@1860

@The Engine

I dropped my shadow last night – just saying

Try that next time when it is not dark outside…

...and he knocks it down!

Nicely played.
frank says:

Jun 12 2015 at 6:49 am

@Ruud

De Cauwer likes to tell the story of a similar situation during that race, when he put his car in front of Guimard’s, pretending not to understand why the Frenchman wanted to get to his rider. On that occasion, Fignon did not attack, and maybe that made all the difference.

I've heard that too. Great reminder! When the race comes down to 8 seconds, any one of them could have made the difference. How many different places could Figgles have picked up a measly 8 seconds?
Nate says:

Jun 12 2015 at 6:58 am

@frank

@Nate

From this morning’s ride.

When the angle of the sun is ride I like to use my shadow to check if my back is straight.

That better not be an EPMS lurking under your ass.

I don't even own an EPMS, sir. The only thing you will ever find under my saddle is a spare tub.
Ron says:

Jun 12 2015 at 7:17 am

Awesome work, Frank!

I noticed my shadow last night during a 2 hour post-work spin (is there anything better in the world than a quiet road loop after too much work and not enough riding? Yes, when you conclude the ride with a Recovery Ale + a bit of tequila) and it reminded me of a shot of Pantani climbing in one of the tribute videos.

As a Velominatus, I don't need a shadow or a scale to tell me how the fitness is doing. When I bend over while sweeping or vacuuming the house (two dogs + summer on the horizon = tons o' fur) if I can feel my waistline protest, I need to ride more and eat less. If I don't hear any hollerin', I'm all set.
stooge says:

Jun 12 2015 at 9:18 am

@frank

@wiscot

Speaking of tells that a rider is hurting, Coppi apparently had a vein that showed up when he was struggling and riders knew to look for it.

..which happened exactly how often?

If they were close enough to see one of Coppi's veins, he was struggling and they knew it. Maybe that's how it worked.