Categories: La Vie VelominatusThe Hardmen

Shadow Boxing

THe shadow foretells the ending.

In the 1989 Tour de France, Laurent Fignon was on the rivet. Close to collapse. But his Directeur Sportif noticed that Greg LeMond’s shoulders were rocking; he knew from the time he spent coaching Greg that this was the telltale sign of his imminent collapse. He ordered Fignon to attack, and he took the Yellow Jersey. He could read the signs that no one else saw and took advantage. I would be willing to bet that LeMond himself was not even as attuned to his condition at that moment because it is so very hard to gauge your own sensations when you’re Fucked with a capital Fucked.

I ride with my shadow more than anyone else, with the possible exception of my reflection who comes out any time my shadow retreats to the clouds and the rain falls down to provide the Flemish Mirror. (Which is arguably more often than not, given my residence in the Pacific Northwest.)

Through this, I have come to learn that my shadow whispers to me; it lays bare all the secrets I have not yet discovered about myself and allows me to see what is internally unseeable.

A Velominatus must learn to read their shadow; to the untrained eye it hobbles about in distorted patterns that reveal nothing but awkward manipulations. We can, however, learn to extract from that amorphic blackness the telltale signs of everything from our level of fitness, our weight, or even whether we are about to bonk.

I watch my shadow for signs of how I am pedaling. Is the rhythm I feel in my legs mirrored by the inflection of myself on the road beneath me? Do I feel smooth but the stroke in my shadow ragged, or do I feel ragged but still my shadow is smooth? One is a manifestation of reality, the other is a manifestation of perception. When I feel as bad as the shadow looks, I know the Man with the Hammer lurks nearby.

I can gauge my condition based on how my shadow looks. Are my shoulders thin and sharp in my shadow, or are they a bit rounded? The first sign that I am putting on weight is when the shadow reveals a roundness that the mirror and the scale does not reflect.

Today, there was an ease to my shadow that coaxed me on to drive harder; it was almost half-wheeling me, teasing me into putting another dose of V into the pedals. Today, the shadow came up wanting. Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow, the shadow will reveal new secrets.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next Meet Your Maker »

Previous « Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de Suisse 2015

View Comments

chuckp says:

Jun 11 2015 at 9:27 am

OK, I now can't get Andy Gibb's "Shadow Dancing" out of my head. Thank you very much, Frank. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awGgULTK2v0
wiscot says:

Jun 11 2015 at 9:54 am

@Ruud

Damn! I'll be in sunny Scotland for the 4th. I could show you some new roads I found that are way better than dealing with all the Holy Hill traffic. They're out by Theresa, Lomira, Campbellsport and Kewaskum. in a half hour you might see 6 cars. Did an 80kms loop last night and it was perfect - warm, not much wind, dry and light on traffic for the most part. Roads surfaces varied but were generally great to tolerable.

Hope all's well in Holland!
DeKerr says:

Jun 11 2015 at 10:06 am

@VeloJello

There is a lot to like in that photo.
VeloJello says:

Jun 11 2015 at 1:11 pm

@DeKerr

Thanks. I love wet weather riding!
teleguy57 says:

Jun 11 2015 at 2:27 pm

@wiscot

@Ruud

Damn! I’ll be in sunny Scotland for the 4th. I could show you some new roads I found that are way better than dealing with all the Holy Hill traffic. They’re out by Theresa, Lomira, Campbellsport and Kewaskum. in a half hour you might see 6 cars. Did an 80kms loop last night and it was perfect – warm, not much wind, dry and light on traffic for the most part. Roads surfaces varied but were generally great to tolerable.

Hope all’s well in Holland!

@wiscot one of these days we'll meet in person. Do you have some GPS tracks for recommended rides on your favorite roads?
ten B says:

Jun 11 2015 at 3:10 pm

I distinctly remember proposing shadow boxing for the lexicon a couple of years ago after a training ride with a long climb and a low sun on my back. Summarily ignored, of course, but maybe it planted a small seed in Frank's massive brain... In any case I most certainly did not make my case for its inclusion quite so eloquently.
frank says:

Jun 11 2015 at 3:49 pm

@ten B

I distinctly remember proposing shadow boxing for the lexicon a couple of years ago after a training ride with a long climb and a low sun on my back. Summarily ignored, of course, but maybe it planted a small seed in Frank’s massive brain… In any case I most certainly did not make my case for its inclusion quite so eloquently.

Lets go find that post and make the addition!
frank says:

Jun 11 2015 at 4:18 pm

@VeloJello

@DeKerr

Thanks. I love wet weather riding!

Attaboy
ten B says:

Jun 12 2015 at 12:49 am

@frank

@ten B

I distinctly remember proposing shadow boxing for the lexicon a couple of years ago after a training ride with a long climb and a low sun on my back. Summarily ignored, of course, but maybe it planted a small seed in Frank’s massive brain… In any case I most certainly did not make my case for its inclusion quite so eloquently.

Lets go find that post and make the addition!

8 Aug 2012 in the Lexicon thread. Great minds think alike (...and fools seldom differ)!
The Engine says:

Jun 12 2015 at 1:53 am

@wiscot

@Ruud

Damn! I’ll be in sunny Scotland for the 4th. I could show you some new roads I found that are way better than dealing with all the Holy Hill traffic. They’re out by Theresa, Lomira, Campbellsport and Kewaskum. in a half hour you might see 6 cars. Did an 80kms loop last night and it was perfect – warm, not much wind, dry and light on traffic for the most part. Roads surfaces varied but were generally great to tolerable.

Hope all’s well in Holland!

Hey @wiscot are you here with or without a bike and exactly where will you be and do you have time in your schedule for a hastily arranged Cogal?