My lungs feel my favorite way my lungs can feel. Every breath I take tells me the whereabouts of each alveolus. They feel raw, like they were scraped clean and opened up anew after a period of dormancy. Every breath tells me their exact shape and depth, where my lungs end and where my diaphragm begins. I feel high, as though my freshly cleaned lungs are letting too much oxygen into the system and it’s not quite sure what to do with it other than to make everything feel more Awesome.

Cycling is, unequivocally, without question, a drug.

At my back lies a winter of frustration; my training has been behind all year with me neither having nor making the time to get the hours in that I am used to. I’ve never been a thoroughbred, but this winter I haven’t even been a donkey. I’ve been a mule. It feels good to say it out loud, actually.

“Hi, my name is Frank. I’m a mule.”

“Hi, Frank.”

I’ve always favored the 2 hour ride over one, three hours over two, four over three. The best rides are sun-up to sun-down endeavors that have me crawling into the kitchen or pub for a recovery session. On one notable occasion I got off my bike and sat at the side of the road in the pouring rain, just to contemplate how I might manage to ride up the final steep ramp to get back home. (Spoiler alert: I finally arrived at the conclusion to climb aboard my bike and pedal up the hill, something that seems a lot more obvious in hindsight than it did at the time.)

I’ve become more opportunistic in my training since arriving at some basic condition through getting my head kicked in for nine days at Keepers Tour. Since then, I cherish those small windows in my schedule that allow for a quick ride and jump at the opportunity, even if it’s just for an hour. The shorter the ride, the harder the ride. No mercy. Stop lights? Interval to the next one, like some idiot Cycleway Hero. Climb? Hit it until the lights go out. False flat into the wind? 53×11 and out of the saddle until the legs turn into Jell-O.

Today’s ride was 90 minutes. Full gas, start to finish; I was a Cat 5 on Race Day, born again. If I was stopped at a light, it was a double-down sprint to make up for lost time like a dog let off its leash trying to catch up to where it would have been if it had been loose the whole time. Everything my mind asked for, my body gave. Everything my body needed, The V provided. Today was a reminder that if quantity and quality are on offer, take them both. But if you have to pick one, quality will go a long way to make up for quantity. I’d rather ride a little every day than not ride every day. And a short ride, done right, can put you in the box just the same.

In the immortal words of The Prophet, “Ride as much or as little, or as long or as short as you feel. But ride.”

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @KogaLover

    @Teocalli

    Didn’t anyone see the Rule #52 violation? 2 different bidons… and if this picture represents a short ride, then double whammy “Two cages can be mounted, but only one bidon on rides under two hours is to be employed”. Or is the black one on the seat tube a container for tools? Yet Frank’s jersey pockets do not seem to be too full? Am confused…

    Not a bidon; second spare tub for the customers, in addition to the one under the saddle. It was an unsupported ride to the Malteni brewery.

  • @VeloJello

    Dunno what the route is but  yep it can seem a bit bleak and relentless;hopefully the weather will have calmed down for you by then.

  • @frank

    @KogaLover

    @Teocalli

    Didn’t anyone see the Rule #52 violation? 2 different bidons… and if this picture represents a short ride, then double whammy “Two cages can be mounted, but only one bidon on rides under two hours is to be employed”. Or is the black one on the seat tube a container for tools? Yet Frank’s jersey pockets do not seem to be too full? Am confused…

    Not a bidon; second spare tub for the customers, in addition to the one under the saddle. It was an unsupported ride to the Malteni brewery.

    ...although if you didn't have tubs you were walking home

  • @frank

    @KogaLover

    @Teocalli

    Didn’t anyone see the Rule #52 violation? 2 different bidons… and if this picture represents a short ride, then double whammy “Two cages can be mounted, but only one bidon on rides under two hours is to be employed”. Or is the black one on the seat tube a container for tools? Yet Frank’s jersey pockets do not seem to be too full? Am confused…

    Not a bidon; second spare tub for the customers, in addition to the one under the saddle. It was an unsupported ride to the Malteni brewery.

    We also discovered that the Lion of Flanders has very strict Rules about beer and cycling and we broke those in abundance

  • Screw the brake levers, what about that kit. Love the kit. Want the kit. Need the kit. Riding to the brewery sounds like fun too.

  • @unversio

    Your levers are mounted too low, below the bottom of the bars. Disgraceful. Good angle on the bars themselves though.

    @unversio

    @Teocalli

    @frank

    @unversio@Teocalli

    Get fucked.

    I see we are getting through to @fronks compassionate side………….

    Is Frank really gagging in the photo ?? A gnat at that exact moment.

    The photo was a pisstake. Notice the spokes are all perfectly visible.

    I wish I'd have had the presence of mind to photoshop in a beer bottle on a stick in front of me.

  • @frank

    @unversio

    Your levers are mounted too low, below the bottom of the bars. Disgraceful. Good angle on the bars themselves though.

    These just might be perfect. Rotundo!

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