Weekend Competition: The Hardmen

Contents Page 1

As I said last week when we announced the new book, The Hardmen, we had a much harder time of it writing this one than we did with The Rules. There are a variety of reasons why this is true, not least the fact that we had to actually choose which Hardmen to include in the book, a bigger chore than it might seem. Some of them were pretty obvious, some were pretty obscure, but mostly it was simply a difficult chore to narrow down the list to something we could fit in a single book without turning it into War and Peace.

Not to mention that we were basically working from memory, for our oft-stated Anti-Research Policies.

Given that, there are some major omissions, whether deliberate or otherwise. Maybe we simply didn’t like a particular rider, hardness notwithstanding (Pharsmstrong). Maybe we loved a rider and we acknowledged their hardness, but the hardness was so universal that we couldn’t zero in on a particular ride that would make the book (Boonen). Other riders featured more than once because they were so universally hard but still managed to drop majorly epic rides in often enough that we simply couldn’t keep from adding a few of their stories (Kelly, Merckx).

With that, I give you your weekend assignment: which is the most glaring omission from the book, and why? But here’s the catch: you have to be specific on which rider, and you have to be specific on preciesely which ride/action merits inclusion. Vote for your favorite omission by using the (new) like button*. If you’d like to add your own notes to someone else’s entry, just respond inline as usual. Top three omissions** will receive a free copy of The Hardmen, signed by all three authors (this will take a little time as we have to ship them around the world.)

* I have resisted adding a Like button to posts since Velominati’s inception in 2009, feeling strongly that if you have something to say, you should take the time to say it rather than anonymously tapping a like button. However, given my own limited available time to commit to posting, I have come to appreciate the elegance of being able to recognize a post for its humor without needing to respond to it with something unimaginative like, “Ha!” I hold fast on my view that there will never be a “Dislike” button, as I firmly believe that while you are welcome to dislike something, you need to hold yourself accountable for your remarks.

** We reserve the right to override the voting system and choose the winner at our discretion.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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Buck Rogers says:

Jun 11 2017 at 11:03 am

@Duane Gran

Gert Jan Theunise. It isn’t so much about his results, which are respectable, as much as it is about his presence. His jaw line could cut metal and I think most of us would give up a race before it started if we got caught in his stare. He oozes hardness.

0

And that mullet, eh?
Buck Rogers says:

Jun 11 2017 at 11:09 am

@frank

And speaking of Le Blaireau, here is your clip that you recommend in the book.
frank says:

Jun 11 2017 at 12:56 pm

@Cary

le doublé d’Anquetil:

http://www.thebikecomesfirst.com/jacques-anquetils-remarkable-dauphine-bordeaux-paris-double/

1

@wiscot actually did a good write-up here for the site.

http://www.velominati.com/the-rules-cat/guest-article-anatomy-of-a-picture-the-perfect-personification-of-rule-5/
frank says:

Jun 11 2017 at 1:01 pm

@HigherGround

I don’t have a copy of the book yet, much to my chagrin, so please forgive me if this example is already used in either of the ones for Sean Kelly. I recall reading that he had a saddle sore that blew up to the size of a golf ball while he was leading the Vuelta a España. Legend has it that he had the team doctor remove it at the hotel, before the start of a time trial. If true, that example should be in there!

And then there were also the stories of how long he would abstain from sex before major races, prompting Paul Sherwen to speculate that Sean’s wife was still a virgin. (Insert pun about book title here.)

1

Actually, the story as I've heard it was that they tried to lance it and his roommate heard painful shrieks coming from the bathroom where the procedure was being performed.

He abandoned the next day, while in the lead.
Trickydicky says:

Jun 11 2017 at 2:35 pm

Lemond is a hard one to call. I think he was a massive whinge over the Hinault 85/86 thing. He was niaive and totally unprepared for a personality that size. But even so by 86 Hinault had won 5 Tours plus everything else, Lemond had the world championships 3 years before and one Tour stage. And he was surprised he wasn't automatic leader. And then he bitched so much about it they had to make a documentary and a book about it. Nobody else probably queried it, never mind what Hinault might have bluffed in the press.

Having said that he stood up to Armstrong and never buckled or changed his tune under overwhelming pressure and bullying. That makes him hard.

Specific rider and rides. Boardman, 94 prologue, Merckx style hour record and never moaning when getting beaten by inferior riders on the juice. I know he's mentioned in the book at the back but even so, he deserves a section.

I bought the book last week and was enjoying it so much I tried to read it slow to make it last, but couldn't. It was too good. There's loads of bits that made me laugh but for some reason in particular I thought the bit on Jan Raas was really well written. A job well done. A follow up on stylish riders would be welcome..
litvi says:

Jun 11 2017 at 5:07 pm

Gianni Bugno. Back to back Worlds, holding the pink Jersey from start to finish in 1990, Milan San Remo, De Ronde, and bashing a spectator across the nose with his front wheel for taking him down in the Alps. Plus bonus points for this flawless execution.
wiscot says:

Jun 11 2017 at 5:53 pm

@frank

@HigherGround

I don’t have a copy of the book yet, much to my chagrin, so please forgive me if this example is already used in either of the ones for Sean Kelly. I recall reading that he had a saddle sore that blew up to the size of a golf ball while he was leading the Vuelta a España. Legend has it that he had the team doctor remove it at the hotel, before the start of a time trial. If true, that example should be in there!

And then there were also the stories of how long he would abstain from sex before major races, prompting Paul Sherwen to speculate that Sean’s wife was still a virgin. (Insert pun about book title here.)

1

Actually, the story as I’ve heard it was that they tried to lance it and his roommate heard painful shrieks coming from the bathroom where the procedure was being performed.

He abandoned the next day, while in the lead.

0

I also read that they didn't want to go to a hospital and alert other teams/media Kelly was suffering, so it was done without anesthetic in a hotel bathroom. Yikes..
Buck Rogers says:

Jun 11 2017 at 9:11 pm

@frank

@Buck Rogers

So yeah, I see the difficulties with coming up with specific rides for Leman and Le Professeur off the top of my head and I do not know my history well enough with Coppi and Gimondi. That’s a good point.

Maybe you could have a supplemental chapter dealing with riders who just exuded Hardness their whole careers even though one cannot pinpoint a specific instance?

0

It’s a lot harder than it seems, but of course now I realize LeMond on Luz Ardiden in 1990 would have been the moment to choose. Maybe we can add it for the US release. The Dutch release is coming out in Spring and we’re adding Dumpoulin.

0

Yes, the one where he towed Big Mig up for the win. There's also the time that LeMan descended like a mad bastard after he had flatted and Chiappucci had attacked him.

And speaking of Cappuccino, how about his drug-fuelled 4 or 5 mountain breakaway at the Tour in the early-to-mid 90's. Sure you could actually see him inject himself along the way but that was one Fucking Hard ride!
Fausto says:

Jun 12 2017 at 1:00 am

@frank

@Fausto

Adam Hansen, stopped counting how many tours he has ridden in a row.

3

Adam is in the book, you dingdong.

1

I haven't been on here for about two years and I still get insulted by @Frank.

The OP re: Adam Hansen is a different Fausto though - didn't think the system allowed identical handles?
KogaLover says:

Jun 12 2017 at 1:18 am

@frank

The Dutch release is coming out in Spring and we’re adding Dumpoulin.

There's also a Dutch version coming out and you're only telling us now, and even only as a lose comment in a byline?

Please make sure you use a different translator than the one who did De Regels. He does not know about cycling. Some translations made my toes curl so I could not clip in anymore. What Dutch title is being proposed? Harde mannen? or Bikkels? @ErikdR @RvanDijk

Btw: any update on my gear order from last last year?