Weekend Competition: The Hardmen

Contents Page 1

As I said last week when we announced the new book, The Hardmen, we had a much harder time of it writing this one than we did with The Rules. There are a variety of reasons why this is true, not least the fact that we had to actually choose which Hardmen to include in the book, a bigger chore than it might seem. Some of them were pretty obvious, some were pretty obscure, but mostly it was simply a difficult chore to narrow down the list to something we could fit in a single book without turning it into War and Peace.

Not to mention that we were basically working from memory, for our oft-stated Anti-Research Policies.

Given that, there are some major omissions, whether deliberate or otherwise. Maybe we simply didn’t like a particular rider, hardness notwithstanding (Pharsmstrong). Maybe we loved a rider and we acknowledged their hardness, but the hardness was so universal that we couldn’t zero in on a particular ride that would make the book (Boonen). Other riders featured more than once because they were so universally hard but still managed to drop majorly epic rides in often enough that we simply couldn’t keep from adding a few of their stories (Kelly, Merckx).

With that, I give you your weekend assignment: which is the most glaring omission from the book, and why? But here’s the catch: you have to be specific on which rider, and you have to be specific on preciesely which ride/action merits inclusion. Vote for your favorite omission by using the (new) like button*. If you’d like to add your own notes to someone else’s entry, just respond inline as usual. Top three omissions** will receive a free copy of The Hardmen, signed by all three authors (this will take a little time as we have to ship them around the world.)

* I have resisted adding a Like button to posts since Velominati’s inception in 2009, feeling strongly that if you have something to say, you should take the time to say it rather than anonymously tapping a like button. However, given my own limited available time to commit to posting, I have come to appreciate the elegance of being able to recognize a post for its humor without needing to respond to it with something unimaginative like, “Ha!” I hold fast on my view that there will never be a “Dislike” button, as I firmly believe that while you are welcome to dislike something, you need to hold yourself accountable for your remarks.

** We reserve the right to override the voting system and choose the winner at our discretion.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Pete Linsley says:

Jun 14 2017 at 3:47 am

@KogaLover

As a stickler for the facts and figures, allow me to confirm that Adam Hansen's current tally of Grand Tours in a row stands at: all of 'em...

...and counting.
Buck Rogers says:

Jun 14 2017 at 8:14 am

@frank

@Buck Rogers

@frank

@Buck Rogers

@frank

@KogaLover

@frank

The Dutch release is coming out in Spring and we’re adding Dumpoulin.

There’s also a Dutch version coming out and you’re only telling us now, and even only as a lose comment in a byline? Please make sure you use a different translator than the one who did De Regels. He does not know about cycling. Some translations made my toes curl so I could not clip in anymore. What Dutch title is being proposed? Harde mannen? or Bikkels? @ErikdR @RvanDijk Btw: any update on my gear order from last last year?

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Not sure who will do it, but we only heard at the end of last week; due out in the Spring. I have asked as a condition of the agreement that I review the translation prior to going to press. If you guys know of a professional translator who might be up for the job, let me know. I’m mostly concerned about capturing the Velominati spirit in the sense that we deliberately misuse words and make others up to suit our fancy. Re order, hoping to get organized and sort that out soon – I know one hurdle is easier to be cleared than the other, but will do so as soon as feasible…

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MATE?!?!? What the fuck? Can’t you translate your own book for Merckx’s sake??? I mean, are you not Dutch inside and out???

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I would never have the time to do so in the timeframe allotted…

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Ha! Just giving you shit, Mate!

0

I had lunch with Steve (Hampsten) today and we both agree you must be mainlining amphetamine. No normal person has as much energy as you!

0

Ha! You should have seen me when I was 19! Fuck, looking back I do not know how anyone could stand to be around me. Hell, most people that know me now at 45 try to sneak away when they see me coming!!!
Cary says:

Jun 14 2017 at 5:46 pm

Ha! You should have seen me when I was 19! Fuck, looking back I do not know how anyone could stand to be around me. Hell, most people that know me now at 45 try to sneak away when they see me coming!!!

0

i can relate to this.
Rob Tucker says:

Jun 16 2017 at 12:23 am

If this is just an attempt to get enough suggestions so you can print a second volume then that's great . . . If you want Hardmen then look no further than Eileen Sheridan ... surprised she didn't make the cut ...Here are some figures ... In 1954 she broke the 12 hour record where she covered 250 and a half miles, and the 24-hour record in 446 and a half miles. She broke 21 of the women's distance records by large margins. Five have yet to be beaten, including the London-Edinburgh record of 20h 11m 35s, set in 1954. Her 1,000-mile record of 3 days and 1 hour stood for 48 years, until it was broken in 2002 by Lynne Taylor. and Land's End to John O'Groates in 2 days, 11 hours and 7 minutes.
Steve Trice says:

Jun 16 2017 at 4:22 am

I'm going to cast a vote for Tommy Godwin. 75000 miles, 200 plus per day, in 1939. Knowing the British climate I imagine he rode in just about every kind of weather, with the exception of extreme heat.
Steve Trice says:

Jun 16 2017 at 5:16 am

Pressed submit a bit early there. Anyway, Tommy Godwin, 200 miles a day for a whole year is an unthinkable target for most of us I reckon. The physical and logistical demands alone are mind boggling even by modern standards, let alone on a heavier pre-war bike, with poorer roads etc.
Teocalli says:

Jun 16 2017 at 9:48 am

@Steve Trice

Pressed submit a bit early there. Anyway, Tommy Godwin, 200 miles a day for a whole year is an unthinkable target for most of us I reckon. The physical and logistical demands alone are mind boggling even by modern standards, let alone on a heavier pre-war bike, with poorer roads etc.

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Back end of the year I believe he also had to ride with no lights in the blackout.
KogaLover says:

Jun 18 2017 at 12:09 am

@frank

another translator could be Wilfried de Jong. He's written books himself on cycling and does columns in national newspaper. Witty but maybe expensive.
Mikael Liddy says:

Jun 19 2017 at 7:01 am

@frank

@Kunanyi

Cadel Evans 2011 Tour de France. Pretty sure it was Stage 19. He’s isolated, has a bike problem at the bottom of the climb (Tourmalet?). Contador attacks at the same time. He drags himself up and bombs the descent, limits his losses up the other side while pulling others with him and then wins the race with the time trial the next day.

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If memory serves, it was on the Galibier, Schleck attacked and went clear, Evans had a mechanical much later on the lower slopes of the Galibier (technically the Lautaret) but started to bridge up and closed the gap massively. Contador got dropped early…is that the day you’re talking about?

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Reckon you've both combined bits & pieces from stages 18 & 19.

18 was when Andy threw a hail mary from 65k with the Izoard & Galibier left, opened a mahoosive gap & the Cadelephant dieseled everyone up the Galibier to within about 2m, which was enough to pop Bertie with once the Spanish Steak ran out & kept Tommy the Tongue in yellow.

19 was when he had a Phycanical going up Telegraphe/Galibier & could "feel" his brakes rubbing, a couple of stops & a bike change later he was off the back. Bertie had topped up on bovine supplements the night before & kept pushing with Andy tucked in behind. Cadel (and others) bombed down the descent & caught the lead group at the bottom of l'Alpe, at which point the Clenbutador went again, but having lost minutes the day prior was allowed to go. Frandy reprised their stinging 1-2 combination work last seen delivering Phast Phil Gil LBL on a silver platter & even had the cheek to ask Cadel to take a turn, a request politely declined with what looked like a "go fuck yourself", before Cadel very nearly snuck a second on the line with a cheeky sprint finish.

Stage 20 was fucking amazing.

July 2011 will go down as a month long lesson in cadelephantiasis!
MangoDave says:

Jun 19 2017 at 9:25 am

@Trickydicky

Lemond is a hard one to call. I think he was a massive whinge over the Hinault 85/86 thing. He was niaive and totally unprepared for a personality that size. But even so by 86 Hinault had won 5 Tours plus everything else, Lemond had the world championships 3 years before and one Tour stage. And he was surprised he wasn’t automatic leader. And then he bitched so much about it they had to make a documentary and a book about it. Nobody else probably queried it, never mind what Hinault might have bluffed in the press. Having said that he stood up to Armstrong and never buckled or changed his tune under overwhelming pressure and bullying. That makes him hard. Specific rider and rides. Boardman, 94 prologue, Merckx style hour record and never moaning when getting beaten by inferior riders on the juice. I know he’s mentioned in the book at the back but even so, he deserves a section. I bought the book last week and was enjoying it so much I tried to read it slow to make it last, but couldn’t. It was too good. There’s loads of bits that made me laugh but for some reason in particular I thought the bit on Jan Raas was really well written. A job well done. A follow up on stylish riders would be welcome..

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I'm a fan of LeMan, but I have to agree with some of this. Looking back, he was relatively pampered. He was collecting a massive salary compared to most of the peleton and traveled with his wife. When things didn't go his way, I thought he could come across as a whiner. It's kind of like watching Luke Skywalker in the original Star Wars.