Weekend Competition: The Hardmen
As I said last week when we announced the new book, The Hardmen, we had a much harder time of it writing this one than we did with The Rules. There are a variety of reasons why this is true, not least the fact that we had to actually choose which Hardmen to include in the book, a bigger chore than it might seem. Some of them were pretty obvious, some were pretty obscure, but mostly it was simply a difficult chore to narrow down the list to something we could fit in a single book without turning it into War and Peace.
Not to mention that we were basically working from memory, for our oft-stated Anti-Research Policies.
Given that, there are some major omissions, whether deliberate or otherwise. Maybe we simply didn’t like a particular rider, hardness notwithstanding (Pharsmstrong). Maybe we loved a rider and we acknowledged their hardness, but the hardness was so universal that we couldn’t zero in on a particular ride that would make the book (Boonen). Other riders featured more than once because they were so universally hard but still managed to drop majorly epic rides in often enough that we simply couldn’t keep from adding a few of their stories (Kelly, Merckx).
With that, I give you your weekend assignment: which is the most glaring omission from the book, and why? But here’s the catch: you have to be specific on which rider, and you have to be specific on preciesely which ride/action merits inclusion. Vote for your favorite omission by using the (new) like button*. If you’d like to add your own notes to someone else’s entry, just respond inline as usual. Top three omissions** will receive a free copy of The Hardmen, signed by all three authors (this will take a little time as we have to ship them around the world.)
* I have resisted adding a Like button to posts since Velominati’s inception in 2009, feeling strongly that if you have something to say, you should take the time to say it rather than anonymously tapping a like button. However, given my own limited available time to commit to posting, I have come to appreciate the elegance of being able to recognize a post for its humor without needing to respond to it with something unimaginative like, “Ha!” I hold fast on my view that there will never be a “Dislike” button, as I firmly believe that while you are welcome to dislike something, you need to hold yourself accountable for your remarks.
** We reserve the right to override the voting system and choose the winner at our discretion.
@Duane Gran
And that mullet, eh?
@frank
And speaking of Le Blaireau, here is your clip that you recommend in the book.
@Cary
@wiscot actually did a good write-up here for the site.
http://www.velominati.com/the-rules-cat/guest-article-anatomy-of-a-picture-the-perfect-personification-of-rule-5/
@HigherGround
Actually, the story as I’ve heard it was that they tried to lance it and his roommate heard painful shrieks coming from the bathroom where the procedure was being performed.
He abandoned the next day, while in the lead.
Lemond is a hard one to call. I think he was a massive whinge over the Hinault 85/86 thing. He was niaive and totally unprepared for a personality that size. But even so by 86 Hinault had won 5 Tours plus everything else, Lemond had the world championships 3 years before and one Tour stage. And he was surprised he wasn’t automatic leader. And then he bitched so much about it they had to make a documentary and a book about it. Nobody else probably queried it, never mind what Hinault might have bluffed in the press.
Having said that he stood up to Armstrong and never buckled or changed his tune under overwhelming pressure and bullying. That makes him hard.
Specific rider and rides. Boardman, 94 prologue, Merckx style hour record and never moaning when getting beaten by inferior riders on the juice. I know he’s mentioned in the book at the back but even so, he deserves a section.
I bought the book last week and was enjoying it so much I tried to read it slow to make it last, but couldn’t. It was too good. There’s loads of bits that made me laugh but for some reason in particular I thought the bit on Jan Raas was really well written. A job well done. A follow up on stylish riders would be welcome..
Gianni Bugno. Back to back Worlds, holding the pink Jersey from start to finish in 1990, Milan San Remo, De Ronde, and bashing a spectator across the nose with his front wheel for taking him down in the Alps. Plus bonus points for this flawless execution.
@frank
I also read that they didn’t want to go to a hospital and alert other teams/media Kelly was suffering, so it was done without anesthetic in a hotel bathroom. Yikes..
@frank
Yes, the one where he towed Big Mig up for the win. There’s also the time that LeMan descended like a mad bastard after he had flatted and Chiappucci had attacked him.
And speaking of Cappuccino, how about his drug-fuelled 4 or 5 mountain breakaway at the Tour in the early-to-mid 90’s. Sure you could actually see him inject himself along the way but that was one Fucking Hard ride!
@frank
I haven’t been on here for about two years and I still get insulted by @Frank.
The OP re: Adam Hansen is a different Fausto though – didn’t think the system allowed identical handles?
@frank
There’s also a Dutch version coming out and you’re only telling us now, and even only as a lose comment in a byline?
Please make sure you use a different translator than the one who did De Regels. He does not know about cycling. Some translations made my toes curl so I could not clip in anymore. What Dutch title is being proposed? Harde mannen? or Bikkels? @ErikdR @RvanDijk
Btw: any update on my gear order from last last year?
@Fausto
Karma for not being here for 2 years.
@sthilzy
READ THE BOOK OR AT LEAST THE CONTENTS WHICH FRANK HAS INCLUDED AT THE TOP OF THIS PAGE
BTW, how good is the photo on the inside back cover of the Prophet and the Disciple gunning it?
I had to stare at it for a long, long time. Then show it to my wife. Then stare at it some more.
Gerrie Knetemann, not even a time trialist but so fucking hard for himself he always raced with the best.
Marino Lejaretta, a pre Adam Hansen who not only did the triple grand tours four years, but also managed to race top 5 in those years
And Andrea Tafi, who´s present at his birth was a big ring.
@RobSandy
Opps! I post before I read!
Bit like reading A Winning mag – look at the pics 110+ times, then read an paragraph to know what the pics were about.
@sthilzy
Hah. No one reads the articles anyway.
The chapter on Hansen is well worth a read, btw. I hadn’t realised what a cool fucker he is.
@sthilzy
,,, didn’t realize there was another pic of the chapters. Forehead slap fixed it!
@RobSandy
Cool fucker – he can make you a shoe! https://hanseeno.myshopify.com/collections/shoes
@KogaLover
Entirely possible.
I am late to this. But how could LeMan not be considered? To wit … the Prologue to Richard Moore’s “Slaying the Badger.”
I would argue that LeMond riding with diarrhea is more #9 than any #9 ride. Compare that to Dumoulin having to get off his bike in this year’s Giro.
@chuckp
By all accounts it was for those around him……………..
@sthilzy
Not to diminish Hansen’s achievement in any way, but it has only been possible in the modern era. Until fairly recently, the Vuelta was held in April, then the Giro in May and the Tour in July – three grand tours on four months. No rider could do 17 consecutive GTs with that schedule. Chapeau to Hansen!
Briek Schotte
20 consecutive Ronde’s, won twice, 8 podiums.
First world championship in 1948 was in a 150 mile break including 27 climbs of the Cauberg, only 10 others finished.
Died on the day of the 2004 Ronde.
^ 150 miles. What are those?
Oh man, The Accidental COTHO? What a superb chapter title! That is aVVwesome.
Also, cannot imagine racing 60 km with a soiled chamois. That sounds like torture!
Oh, and did anyone else notice Dumoulin’s Maglia Rosa was not a full zip jersey? Goddamn, he was probably angrier than ever to be in the lead on that day!
@chuckp
One of my favorite cycling Hardman stories of all time. I told it to my five kids with a deep reverence a few years ago and they all just looked at me like I was fucking insane (they might be right).
LeMan deserves a whole fucking Hardman book just devoted to him.
@Blackjohn
Schotte gets in on the basis of that photo alone. He looks like he’s just stepped out of Bergman’s The Seventh Seal.
@wiscot
Ha! Touche’!
@wiscot
Wonder if he plays chess well?
@Buck Rogers
I think even Gary Kasparov would wilt under the intensity of that stare.
@Buck Rogers
Yup, that’s quite the bedtime story: Greg and the (bad) Giant Peach.
@Buck Rogers
Oh man, that was such an epic day! Great calls all around. LeMonster’s 1989 ITT to win the Tour isn’t bad either…
@KogaLover
Not sure who will do it, but we only heard at the end of last week; due out in the Spring. I have asked as a condition of the agreement that I review the translation prior to going to press. If you guys know of a professional translator who might be up for the job, let me know. I’m mostly concerned about capturing the Velominati spirit in the sense that we deliberately misuse words and make others up to suit our fancy. Re order, hoping to get organized and sort that out soon – I know one hurdle is easier to be cleared than the other, but will do so as soon as feasible…
@frank
Yeah, might want to find an editor who’s not averse to some “naughty” words . . .
@frank
MATE?!?!? What the fuck? Can’t you translate your own book for Merckx’s sake??? I mean, are you not Dutch inside and out???
@Buck Rogers
@frank = epic fail
@Buck Rogers
They might be insane? Really? Like that was ever in doubt.
@frank
Could do worse than Jose Been, she does a heap of Dutch & English commentary for Eurosport.
Hinault, Liege-Bastogne-Liege 1980. No explanation needed.
@frank
As f0r the LVC kit order–please remember that my address has been updated to Germany since last year. I gave you the new address last summer when I moved but I can resend it to you if you need it. Thanks.
Cadel Evans 2011 Tour de France. Pretty sure it was Stage 19. He’s isolated, has a bike problem at the bottom of the climb (Tourmalet?). Contador attacks at the same time. He drags himself up and bombs the descent, limits his losses up the other side while pulling others with him and then wins the race with the time trial the next day.
@frank
I’d suggest that if one of Fignon’s rides was put forwards then his ITT to LOSE that tour was also epic. He was suffering a saddle tour, had been told previously by the UCI that the aerobars he’d trialed wouldn’t be allowed, only to see LeMonde turn up to the Tour with a full aero set up…and he gave it EVERYTHING.
The photos of him after the finish tell the tale eloquently.
@Kunanyi
Cadel got airborne on that TT!
@sthilzy
Go to 8:50
Recall Evans rode the whole course on the day, the Schleck’s drove out in the car and rode back to the start! Spoke to Cadel about that ITT day and he said, “It was a relaxing ride”!
@frank
If you can’t find anyone, I want to do it. Had a lot of fun reading The Hardmen. Wrote a book myself on the different types of riders amongst the mamils and interviewed some pro’s to ask what they think of the rules.
Fignon again.
1988 Milan-San Remo: won by Fignon in a 2-man sprint with Maurizio Fondriest.
Instead of being happy winning a Monument he was annoyed that the Italian had stayed with him on the Poggio and prevented him the glory of winning alone and decided to come back and do it.
1989 Milan San Remo: Fignon drops everyone and crosses the line alone as he planned.
I think that is badass.
@Buck Rogers
I would never have the time to do so in the timeframe allotted…
@Kunanyi
If memory serves, it was on the Galibier, Schleck attacked and went clear, Evans had a mechanical much later on the lower slopes of the Galibier (technically the Lautaret) but started to bridge up and closed the gap massively. Contador got dropped early…is that the day you’re talking about?
@RobSandy
Indeed. Or his ride over the cobbles during the 1983(?) Tour. One of the stages was through the pavé and he’d never ridden them before. He killed it but destroyed his hands because he didn’t know how to ride loose on the stones. Won the Tour at 21 or whatever idiotically young age he was at the time.