Despite being a bald, visually challenged Velominatus, I envy only one other man from the peloton past. The only man who could pull off the historically near-impossible chrome-dome/ponytail combination, and couple it with a pair of wire-rimmed reading glasses yet still manage to exude a lethal concoction of Gallic style, hardness and pure V that could defeat opponents with its very presence.

Even the cobbles here in the 89 Paris-Roubaix are being blown dry by the force of The Professor’s big ring whirlpool, floating millimeters above the surface and forcing the rider he’s just passed into a muddy pit of broken stones while he continues his assault down the middle, on the crown.

Though he rode for teams with some of the most unflattering kits ever, The Professor always managed to look immaculate. This is just another example. He was a template for The Rules long before any notion of them was ever dreamed of. Except of course Rule #36, which he naturally transcends and earns him an automatic pass on account of his sheer badassness.

I’m tempted to dig out my very first pair of prescription specs, similar to these and which I would’ve acquired around that time, and rock them in honour of Le Prof on our Roubaix ride on Keepers Tour 13 next April. The ponytail, well I’d be wise to not attempt that one…