Rules! Hear me fools: The Rules mark the beginning of the path to enlightenment, not the end. There are higher planes, expanding dimensions. Beyond the color of your bar tape exists a man, a mountain, and a bike. This is where the world begins.
Keeper Jim wrote this, reporting on his utilitarian climb of Mount Ventoux. He posts less than the rest of us, so he has less chances to sound foolish, so we consider him the wise one. He is. And he probably took a semester of philosophy as an undergraduate and reads real non-cycling books.
Jim’s words have been ringing in my ears. For better or for worse, Velominati is known for The Rules. A book publisher didn’t offer us a book contract on the collective wit of our far ranging, foul mouthed, unmoderated discussions of posts, no, it was The Rules, thanks. What started as an effort to whip a bit of discipline into the unruly hoards, is now heading toward 100 Rules. That’s a lot of Rules.
Thankfully, to alleviate some of the pressure for full compliance, some genius introduced the masturbation principle: if you are going to do it (breaking a Rule) no need to go online with the information and really, don’t send a selfie to your riding buddies either. These photos certainly don’t need to end up in your parents AOL account.
My late night stoned philosophical discussions earned me zero college credits. I know nothing about philosophy but in the great Velominati tradition, that shall not deter me from lecturing others about it.
Enlightenment, if you are open to it, can be found on the bike. It’s not found online, not even on Velominati. The word enlightenment has 1001 personal definitions. I believe if you can put your enlightenment into words, you are not enlightened. A word is a clumsy cudgel for such things. It is like real music, it’s power is so abstract, so deeply visceral, attempts to describe music in words only detract.
Get on a bike and ride, without ear-buds, without worry. Immerse in the physical work of climbing, descending, cornering, rolling across the landscape. Somehow, as Jim says, there can enlightenment there. Free your mind. One’s eyes can take in the beauty on this earth, breathe the air, smell it, hear it. Feel the sun, hear the insects, already, too many words. Climb Ventoux or ride your usual loop. For me, if that does not put me on the path to enlightenment, I don’t want it. Rebirth, heaven, hell, I can’t use them; they do not exist for me. A bike ride that gets me out of my skin, where my oxygenated brain takes in the world unfiltered, and leaves me changed, if only for a few moments, that I can use.
If The Rules get you on a bike more, then The Rules are useful. It’s all about the Ride, not The Rules.
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@veloasia
I put that photo up to commemorate the near disappearance of the pavé out there. The county is out there this week grinding it down and putting down some smooth asphalt. Sniff...@mauibike and I may be the only cyclists here who are unhappy about it. @mauibike was saying he could open up a ten minute gap on riders who didn't know how to get across the pavé. They would slow down and hang on too firmly while he would get on it and fly on his tubular tires.
But yes, I'm glad you have seen that route. Pure magic.
@PeakInTwoYears
Very early on, when Frank invited the other keepers to write things for the site, I asked him about swearing. Fuck yeah, he said, don't hold back, say what you like. Bless him. He is wise too.
@Gianni - Love the picture, I have ridden that stretch dry can only imagine what it is like wet! Heading back down their next week to continue down the path to enlightenment, maybe see you out on the roads!
@Gianni
My friend, you've just boiled my whole being down to two sentences.
@Gianni So be it...The Masturbation principle.
@Gianni
Last month I was lucky enough to take in A Christmas Story at the local theatre, big screen and 35 mm, lots of fun. Very cool experience and particularly love this line from Ralphie:
"My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium, a master."
@Ron
Have always loved that movie and that line.
You want a masterclass in swearing? Type " Best of Malcolm Tucker" into youtube. Warning: NSFW or if you have kids around.
@Gianni
Quite so. I'm good with that.
Gianni, thanks for another great article! This article, and the responses to it, were a nice antidote to the craptacular end to my day at work. I enjoy this community for the exact same reasons as mentioned above by PeakInTwoYears. ChrisO's response had me literally laughing out loud. And your article on EMPS, and the responses, were another stellar example of the entertainment value of Velominati. But the redeeming value of The Rules is that they are a means to an end, not the end on their own. The bottom line is getting out on your bike and enjoying the ride... in style!
VLVV