Categories: The Rules

Beyond The Rules

East Maui Pavé

Rules! Hear me fools: The Rules mark the beginning of the path to enlightenment, not the end. There are higher planes, expanding dimensions. Beyond the color of your bar tape exists a man, a mountain, and a bike. This is where the world begins.

Keeper Jim wrote this, reporting on his utilitarian climb of Mount Ventoux. He posts less than the rest of us, so he has less chances to sound foolish, so we consider him the wise one. He is. And he probably took a semester of philosophy as an undergraduate and reads real non-cycling books.

Jim’s words have been ringing in my ears. For better or for worse, Velominati is known for The Rules. A book publisher didn’t offer us a book contract on the collective wit of our far ranging, foul mouthed, unmoderated discussions of posts, no, it was The Rules, thanks. What started as an effort to whip a bit of discipline into the unruly hoards, is now heading toward 100 Rules. That’s a lot of Rules.

Thankfully, to alleviate some of the pressure for full compliance, some genius introduced the masturbation principle: if you are going to do it (breaking a Rule) no need to go online with the information and really, don’t send a selfie to your riding buddies either. These photos certainly don’t need to end up in your parents AOL account.

My late night stoned philosophical discussions earned me zero college credits. I know nothing about philosophy but in the great Velominati tradition, that shall not deter me from lecturing others about it.

Enlightenment, if you are open to it, can be found on the bike. It’s not found online, not even on Velominati. The word enlightenment has 1001 personal definitions. I believe if you can put your enlightenment into words, you are not enlightened. A word is a clumsy cudgel for such things. It is like real music, it’s power is so abstract, so deeply visceral, attempts to describe music in words only detract.

Get on a bike and ride, without ear-buds, without worry. Immerse in the physical work of climbing, descending, cornering, rolling across the landscape. Somehow, as Jim says, there can enlightenment there. Free your mind. One’s eyes can take in the beauty on this earth, breathe the air, smell it, hear it. Feel the sun, hear the insects, already, too many words. Climb Ventoux or ride your usual loop. For me, if that does not put me on the path to enlightenment, I don’t want it. Rebirth, heaven, hell, I can’t use them; they do not exist for me. A bike ride that gets me out of my skin, where my oxygenated brain takes in the world unfiltered, and leaves me changed, if only for a few moments, that I can use.

If The Rules get you on a bike more, then The Rules are useful. It’s all about the Ride, not The Rules.

 

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

View Comments

  • What the fuck? I feel like Ricky Bobby learning from his Dad that he was actually high when he taught him "if you're not first, you're last"

    My whole world just collapsed and now some asshole with a fanny pack, beard, and headphones is just as much of a cyclist as I am? No. Fuck that.

  • Well said Gianni! The apostle speaks many words and these say more than can be spoken. Truly sums up how each ride should and can feel if you free your mind.

  • @eightzero

    Spot on. A-Fucking-Merckx!

    Great piece.

    And a big +1 A-Fucking-Merckx from me.  The Rules bring us together as brethren. Our rides free us through our pleasure and suffering. Thanks for this Gianni!

  • @livingminimal

    What the fuck? I feel like Ricky Bobby learning from his Dad that he was actually high when he taught him "if you're not first, you're last"

    My whole world just collapsed and now some asshole with a fanny pack, beard, and headphones is just as much of a cyclist as I am? No. Fuck that.

    Let's not get carried away here.  There's a very sound message in there somewhere and it's not interpreted through extremes!!

  • ( Ellis Boyd 'Red' Redding voice )

    "There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm here (Velominati), because you think I should be here daily. I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime by breaking The Rules. I want to talk to him. I want to try to talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. I still can. That kid's long gone, and this old man is all that's left. I got to live with that. Rule-habilitated? It's (not) a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit."

    "Rule-habilitated? Well, now let me see. You know, you should have an idea what that means!"

  • @livingminimal

    I hear you,

    but everyone takes a different path to enlightenment.  Just be thankful that your path doesn't include the miserable burden of a fanny pack.  The horror.

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