The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path, not the end. In pursuit of La Vie Velominatus, we know of no end to the Path; each of us journey through an endless evolution of understanding and reverence. As such, The Word continues to be handed down from high upon Mount Velominis and The Rules continue to be expanded upon. Today we present you with two new Rules, in addition to the announcement of the first two Rules Book Signing Events.
The Rules will be released in the United States on May 5, known as Die Congnoscentus or V.V in old Velomiskrit. In support of its impending launch, we’re very excited to announce the first of our book signing events. The first will be in New York City’s flagship store on Saturday, May 3rd; the second will be held in Rapha’s store in San Francisco on Saturday, May 10. Both events will start with a ride leaving the Rapha store at 8:30am, returning around 2:30pm. The signing will take place in the respective Rapha store starting at 3:00pm. See the respective event pages for the NY Rapha Event and the SFO Rapha Event.
We took the opportunity to correct some issues and improve the quality of the photographs with respect to the UK version that came out last June. That’s not to say we fixed all the errors and didn’t introduce new ones; as long as I’m involved in any project you can be sure there will be problems. But in addition to being refreshed, we also gave the Prologue a facelift and Greg LeMond – the only American Tour de France winner – graciously wrote the Foreword. The US Release also contains four Rules which were not included in the UK release; two of them appeared on the site as they were divined, but the other two were reserved for the release of the book.
Rule #94 // Use the correct tool for the job, and use the tool correctly.
Bicycle maintenance is an art; tools are designed to serve specific purposes, and it is essential that the Velominatus learns to use each tool properly when working on their loyal machine.
For anyone who has ever tried to do something as simple as cut a brake cable or install a headset, this one doesn’t really need much explanation. Without the proper tools, you will certainly massacre the part and likely deface the bicycle itself. At worst, you will cause irreparable harm. The tools and learning to use them is as much a part of La Vie Velominatus as riding itself.
Rule #95 // Never lift your bike over your head.
Under no circumstances is it acceptable to raise one’s machine above your head. The only exception is when placing it onto a car’s roof-rack.
None of the Keepers understand why people are lifting their bikes over their heads. A road bicycle is meant to leave the ground as much as a Cyclist is meant to walk. It is an unholy thing and this behavior must come to a stop immediately.
For a full explanation on the origins and justification of these Rules, I suppose you will have to consult the latest release of the book or join us in New York or San Francisco.
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Celebrity book signings; link ups with Rapha cafes on both coasts; foreword by Greg Lemond... where did it all go so wrong?
Chapeau, chaps on your US publication. UK first edition was a cracking read, and am sure this will carry on from where that left off.
Love the publication date of V. V... although dangerously close to Star Wars Day (May the Fourth be with you... boom).
Rule#95! FFS, shirley you can give an exception for bike storage applications?
Congrats Keepers on the US book launch. Any chance Toronto might be on your whirlwind tour? We have hills, gravel and good micro-brews too!
@eenies
I think this is in the same spirit of the exception for placing your bike on a roof rack.
@ChrisO
Baseball?! It's the only sport slower and more boring than cricket...
Good luck with the adult "acting" though, that sounds a bit more exciting for ya. Plus, it could offer years and years of slowly burning memories.
Recently found that a Dremel and a cut-off wheel are the best tool for trimming cables and housings. No crimping, stray metal, or un-square housing ends and no fraying of the cable. like buttah.
@VeloVita
@eenies Also, the masturbation principle seems to apply here. Whatever you do in that dark little room in your basement...we don't want to know about it!
@RedRanger
You're welcome.
@ChrissyOne
was that your doing? fuck, one more reason to give em more of my money.
@Roadslave525
Cinco de Mayo!