Book Release: Events and New Rules

The Prophet hands down the New V-Estament

The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path, not the end. In pursuit of La Vie Velominatus, we know of no end to the Path; each of us journey through an endless evolution of understanding and reverence. As such, The Word continues to be handed down from high upon Mount Velominis and The Rules continue to be expanded upon. Today we present you with two new Rules, in addition to the announcement of the first two Rules Book Signing Events.

The Rules will be released in the United States on May 5, known as Die Congnoscentus or V.V in old Velomiskrit. In support of its impending launch, we’re very excited to announce the first of our book signing events. The first will be in New York City’s flagship store on Saturday, May 3rd; the second will be held in Rapha’s store in San Francisco on Saturday, May 10. Both events will start with a ride leaving the Rapha store at 8:30am, returning around 2:30pm. The signing will take place in the respective Rapha store starting at 3:00pm. See the respective event pages for the NY Rapha Event and the SFO Rapha Event.

We took the opportunity to correct some issues and improve the quality of the photographs with respect to the UK version that came out last June. That’s not to say we fixed all the errors and didn’t introduce new ones; as long as I’m involved in any project you can be sure there will be problems. But in addition to being refreshed, we also gave the Prologue a facelift and Greg LeMond – the only American Tour de France winner – graciously wrote the Foreword. The US Release also contains four Rules which were not included in the UK release; two of them appeared on the site as they were divined, but the other two were reserved for the release of the book.

Rule #94 // Use the correct tool for the job, and use the tool correctly.
Bicycle maintenance is an art; tools are designed to serve specific purposes, and it is essential that the Velominatus learns to use each tool properly when working on their loyal machine.

For anyone who has ever tried to do something as simple as cut a brake cable or install a headset, this one doesn’t really need much explanation. Without the proper tools, you will certainly massacre the part and likely deface the bicycle itself. At worst, you will cause irreparable harm. The tools and learning to use them is as much a part of La Vie Velominatus as riding itself.

Rule #95 // Never lift your bike over your head.
Under no circumstances is it acceptable to raise one’s machine above your head. The only exception is when placing it onto a car’s roof-rack.

None of the Keepers understand why people are lifting their bikes over their heads. A road bicycle is meant to leave the ground as much as a Cyclist is meant to walk. It is an unholy thing and this behavior must come to a stop immediately.

For a full explanation on the origins and justification of these Rules, I suppose you will have to consult the latest release of the book or join us in New York or San Francisco.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Tartan1749

    Recently found that a Dremel and a cut-off wheel are the best tool for trimming cables and housings. No crimping, stray metal, or un-square housing ends and no fraying of the cable. like buttah.

    Thanx. Just removed the right shifter to give to my mechanic; who checked with their distributor; whom agreed to warrant in it excess of 2 years (original purchase from LBS by the way); and delivered brand new shifter body, hood and all. Campagnolo is awesome! I gave him the shifter with the brake housing as I frayed the cable too much to pull it thru (correctly) and we are planning to reuse. Dremel tool is on the list.

  • @unversio

    @Tartan1749

    Recently found that a Dremel and a cut-off wheel are the best tool for trimming cables and housings. No crimping, stray metal, or un-square housing ends and no fraying of the cable. like buttah.

    Thanx. Just removed the right shifter to give to my mechanic; who checked with their distributor; whom agreed to warrant in it excess of 2 years (original purchase from LBS by the way); and delivered brand new shifter body, hood and all. Campagnolo is awesome! I gave him the shifter with the brake housing as I frayed the cable too much to pull it thru (correctly) and we are planning to reuse. Dremel tool is on the list.

    My former lbs in tucson had a grinding wheel they used to clean up cable/housing ends. A dremel would work for home applications.

  • @wiscot

    @Haldy

    @KW

    @Haldy

    All Hail Rule #94!! As a lifelong member of the Brotherhood of the Wrench I have seen many,many acts of tomfoolery enacted upon poor unsuspecting bicycles by people having no idea how to properly wield tools.

    If you don't know how to fix it..IT'S OKAY..we are happy to fix it for you!

    My reverence for Rule #58 extends to wrenching. I am more than happy to have my LBS mechs do anything beyond the simplest of things. I usually bring them coffee beans too.

    You sir are an inspiration! :-) I'd happy do a full overhaul on the spot for free coffee! I also have a scotch habit...there are many Seattle bike racers riding on hand-built wheels that were paid for in bottles of Scotland's finest.

    What? Irn Bru? Would those wheels be made from girders?

    Girders....only if that's what you consider Ambrosio Nemesis rims to be!

  • Can't make either signing (insert vulgar/angry emoticon) but will be in San Diego May 2-4. Like Chris O, I'm looking for some fellow Velominati for early morning rides on Saturday and Sunday (something like starting at 5am or so, but I'm negotiable) heading out of downtown.  As long as you can look past my apparent Rule #7 violation (I live in New England for crips sake, it ain't easy getting a tan to maintain).

  • @RedRanger

    @unversio

    @Tartan1749

    Recently found that a Dremel and a cut-off wheel are the best tool for trimming cables and housings. No crimping, stray metal, or un-square housing ends and no fraying of the cable. like buttah.

    Thanx. Just removed the right shifter to give to my mechanic; who checked with their distributor; whom agreed to warrant in it excess of 2 years (original purchase from LBS by the way); and delivered brand new shifter body, hood and all. Campagnolo is awesome! I gave him the shifter with the brake housing as I frayed the cable too much to pull it thru (correctly) and we are planning to reuse. Dremel tool is on the list.

    My former lbs in tucson had a grinding wheel they used to clean up cable/housing ends. A dremel would work for home applications.

    Site unseen grind wheel is on the list.

  • @doubleR @paolo

    Sounds good. Cogal on the way!

    If you've got a suggestion for bike rental then yes that would be great. I ride a 56 or 58.

    I often travel with my bike but given Friday might be tight it's probably easier and quicker to return the rental versus disassembling and packing my bike. Need to leave some time for post-ride malted recovery beverages.

    I've also seen horror stories about bike boxes going through US airports and being opened by TSA and not repacked.

  • @ChrisO

    Helens Cycles in Santa Monica, Broad Street.  Check them out on the web, you can get a cannondale for $65 a day.   If you are off Thurs afternoon then you could save a lot of time by getting it then.   Santa Monica is only about 10 miles or so north of LAX.   Also I know they have a fleet of Dogmas in for demo.  At a premium they may be prepared to rent one out.  Under the Helen's group there is also a shop called I Martins Cycles.  It may be closer to where you are staying, although Santa Monica Helens is probably a better location for a return.

  • @Gianni @RedRanger Yeah, I originally considered the online route, but unaware that it technically had not been US released, went to  a brick and mortar to see if they had it. I can only guess that my work on The Merckx Project has bestowed upon me the good fortune.

Share
Published by
frank

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago