The only thing worse than being two months from peaking and too fat to climb is being two months past peaking and in the middle of the season of rapid weight gain. At least with the former there is something to look forward to as you measure the incremental gains of your training as the almost daily rides of the season accumulate on your Strava profile. The latter can seem like a long dark tunnel that leads only to fat and slow. For those of us living in the Northern Hemisphere, on the tundra and ice-covered roads, with only 8 1/2 hours of daylight, a proper road ride and last season’s gains can seem like a distant dream. The juxtaposition of climbing well for your weight and expanding into a larger jersey size before your very own eyes is a cross the Velominatus must sometimes have to bear.
2012 was perhaps the best season I’ve ever had on a bike. It actually began on the trainer on New Year’s Day as I started training for the Keepers Tour. After returning from the trip of a lifetime riding the cobbles of Norther France and Belgium I was able to hold momentum at the start of the season at home. Next up was the Almanzo 100 in May, a very hard gravel race in which I was happy with my result. Then, the guys began gathering for our Tuesday group rides. On the whole, the group really got after it this year and we pushed each other to some great levels of fitness. Coupled with my almost daily solo rides, I was seeing progress early and often. Then the season was punctuated in September by a 15th placing in the Heck of the North, another gravel race. I had timed my peaks pretty well for an amateur and as my Strava numbers got bigger La Volupte and I had become closer acquaintances.
Then November happened. I hold about as much appreciation for November as I do for March in this part of the world. That is to say none. November and March are the shoulder seasons and the only time of year when running actually seems like a plausible way to stay fit. In November the Rule #11 chickens start coming home to roost, the roads can turn to shit and aren’t safe to ride, and graveling becomes an exercise in survival as half the month is slotted for deer hunting. Mates that haven’t been seen all summer start to wander into town again for Happy Hour beers at the local micro-brew. Food becomes laden with butter, chocolate, and carbs. This November was exacerbated by the fact that I went down for two solid weeks with a viral infection. I was so fucking sick I shit the bed one night. For Merckx’s Sake it took a lot of the V to recover from that one. Now I know how Thor must have felt about this year’s Spring Classics campaign. The only difference being my spring was better than his and my fall was his spring.
So let me have it. Tell me to Rule #5. Tell me to get out and ride my bike, set up the trainer, stop whinging. I probably deserve it after all this. I’m banking on the fact though that there are others like me out there. Others who have witnessed their own precipitous descension from peak form to shit in the matter of weeks. It really is incredible, the difference in how long it takes to build that form and how quickly it disappears. So please, grant me this one confession. Share your own despair if you like but then let’s move on. Let’s share in the fleeting catharsis that being a little bitch can offer and then begin the long, painful, and awesome slog back to the V together again.
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Do what I've done for 15 yrs - start riding an 80's steel bike set up w/a 39x15 as an (e-gad) fixie. Toss your fenders and lights on it, I promise you'll stay warm spinning a little gear around on the flats and downhills and you work power on the 'ups'. It's also a 'quick'workout, the adage about riding a small fixed gear is almost 'doubling your saddle time'. It keeps me warm, burns calories, keeps my 'real' bike free from crud and you can't help but feel like DA MAN puting the damn damn to folks on their carbon dream machines. I use my LEAD SLED 80% of my yearly training and it's been a great training tool.
I'm trying not to break any rules 'making an 1986 SL Giordana into a road fixie not withsatnding' .
CHEERS!
@ez
Good lad. "like I need to have a nice lie down" yeah, that's never a good sign yet I have that senstation on a regular basis when climbing. And counting calories in the bar...where have you been? That's beautiful.
@Carpy
Carpy, that goes for you too. Where have you been hiding? Keep it up.
In the last 24 hours winter has arrived for good I believe. This, of course, means the second most important season of the year has begun, skiing. This marks the end of the shoulder season and the rebirth of hurt. While my skiing goals are far less important to me than my cycling ones, still absolutely love doing it. A good 20k on nordic skis always has as much V to offer up as any 60 on the bike. There's a reason there has been such a tradition of crossover between nordic skiing and cycling. It just makes sense. So no, fuck the fat tire bike, I'm waxing up the skinny skis now that there's snow on the ground.
I hope you're all feeling a little Catharsis, I am. I wanted to get this out of the way early this year so we can get on with it. Thanks all.
@Carpy
Boring Troll is Boring.
@Marko: Feel your pain man. I've been doing some high quality couch surfing with a side of top notch seasonal brews for a couple months. Team ride Saturday saw me riding fine until 2hrs in, then completely came unglued on the last climb of the day. It's a stout one to be sure, but having mates that specialize in things other than climbing ride away from me like that just plain sucked. Especially since I'm a stick that goes uphill well mostly.
All the motivation I needed though..........
@scaler911
And predictable. I did as much in the last paragraph. Makes me wonder if he read that far.
@Marko
Trying to squeeze in a few more rides before the snow sets in and got ambushed by some ice today while crossing a wooden bridge. No worries though, my enormous glute muscles broke my fall. I think its going to be back to the trainer for me for a while.
Is this thing on?
Good god I've managed to log in remotely using my Android tablet - an omen?
@Chris
Funny how everyone is quick to blame the gas rather than the fact that some other human being invaded their insides, perhaps even with a robot.... Jeesh!