Paterberg
@Bea contributed this Guesty with the note below excerpted.
I know The Rules since before I started riding a bike. I mocked my cyclist-friend, asked him why he didn’t do triathlon and he answered with “Rule #42” and sent me the link to the website. Too bad I got that email while watching students during their exam, I read all 95 of The Rules and laughed out loud.
If people read The Rules, laugh out loud and get back on a bike, our group of Cyclists is doing something right.
VLVV, Gianni
My dear Friend
Since I went ‘cycling’ three times, I thought it would be a good idea to read The Rules again. And while I can’t say I’m not breaking any of them, I’m definitely not breaking a lot of them…
Ok, I don’t own three bikes, but for the 1.5 I do have, saddle, tires and handlebars are matched black. Even the hole in the saddle is black. And my (real cycling!) shorts are black too. I also follow Rule #24 to the letter and the same goes for Rule #89. There are some problems with Rule #7, #27 and #37, ok, the tanlines are razor sharp (read non-existent, except for my watch-tanline), but the invisible eyewear, sleeveless jerseys and ankle-length socks…
You forgot to tell me about Rule #40, but I’ll keep it in mind for next time. And every Rule talking about saddles and handlebars which is not about their color is broken. But I do win points for my (not so perfectly) shaven legs and my perfectly regulated facial hair. I have no livestrong wristband, I drink in moderation (might have something to do with the absence of cages (which is according to Rule #78, (and sometimes it takes just that bit longer, but still, no Rule is broken)), my ‘kit’ (clothes I guess) is clean and there are no stickers (not even a ‘weer een auto minder’ sign) nor race numbers. I have no idea what aerobars are, but unless they are childseats, baskets or padded saddles I guess it is safe to say they are not on my bike and the same goes for washer-nuts and valve-stem caps.
I don’t know what my helmet is, but it is definitely not a mountainbike helmet and my shoes are no mountainbike shoes. Admittedly they are no road cycling shoes either, but there is no rule about cycling with road cycling shoes (except that you can’t walk with them (Rule #69), which I don’t).
Admittedly, I break Rule #11, but maybe, for once, (and yes, by calling this I break #1, #2 and #3 too) it’s possible to see past that? I try to teach the whole family Rule #77 and that should count for something. No?
All rules about interaction with other people I’m perfectly ok with (eg #86, #87, #81, #71, #67, #19), I just don’t interact. However, that might turn me into a jackass (Rule #43), but by the look onto other people’s faces, I’m a funny jackass…)
Groetjes,
Bea.
The email above I wrote two years ago. A friend had taken me cycling for an hour on holiday. I came home, pulled on 12 year old black shorts (I still don’t know where they came from), took my bike out (a 30kg city bike with a basket and a childseat) and started riding. That first ride I did 25km, averaged 23km/h and almost died.
We are almost 17000kms further and things have changed a lot, I have changed a lot. Obvious things, like the extra bikes, kit and tanlines. I know what aerobars are, have my Big Crash (Rule #81 applies), First Race, new mantras (no halfwheeling, no gaps, hold your line) and unpadded white saddles (ssssht, handlebartape is still black). I’ve learned to survive the cobblestones and reached the top of De Paterberg (Am I making you all jealous yet?).
But the big change in me comes from the less obvious things. Sunrise and getting lost, meeting cyclist at 6AM (with a proper introduction), Rule #5 and Rule #9, almost dying, big bunches (which start on time), fighting the man with the hammer to get home, only myself as company (I can’t seem to get enough of me), huge encouragements, smells and sounds and views.
No idea when one goes from merely riding a bike to being a Cyclist. But I’m on my way and I love every minute of it.
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@bea
Oh no, women's razors are the best for leg-shaving.
My wife has a model called Venus made by Gillette I think which has a big wide head so you get good coverage and it's in the middle of a sort of soapy block, so you don't need to use any foam or gel.
Brilliant.
Women's razors are just last year's male models with the grey/blue swapped out for pink with a few bucks added to the price!
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/12/22/women-really-do-pay-more-for-razors-and-almost-everything-else/
@Cooper
My wife is using a German stainless-steel razor with Japanese titanium-coated blades... in pink?
Who knew?
Surely nobody here uses cartridge razors. The male-grooming equivalent of a pie-plate and reflectors.
@Teocalli
We'll do it together, you tell the male side, I do the women's perspective.
But be warned, my side is very short, women have very good (and apparently very expensive) Venus Gilette razors which get the job done in less than 2 minutes.
I'm sure guys have cultivated a much more elaborate ritual... At least, it should be, after all the talking and thinking that precedes it...
@bea
Ha Ha! Touché
Excellently written!
*THAT* is what this is about. An existing cyclist gives you your first "hit" which only gets you hooked. I like to see the rules as a history lesson in the culture of cycling. Anybody who scoffs at the rules surely has no sense of humor.
If my maths serves, I think @Bea and I started our paths to becoming Cyclists at about the same time. Maybe a few months apart.
Lovely article! VLVV!
@bea
My first leg shaving involved my father's single-blade Gilette razor, his shaving brush, and lots of cuts over my bony knees. Thirty five years on, I use my wife's Venus Gilette razors (I suppose they are mine as well since California is a Community Property state) and my still bony knees have never had it so good.
I enjoyed your article immensely!
@Teocalli
It looks like my "decisive evening in the shower" story found some common ground. To answer you question, @bea, I didn't tell my daughter that I used her pink razor for my initial leg shave 'cause I knew what the reaction would be: A look of horror mixed with disgust followed by, "Daddy, please don't touch my razor ever again."
@bea
Easy: after you find out about the Rules, you want to be compliant. I discovered the Rules when I was looking for a new helmet and I found an article about someone mentioning that a certain helmet would violate Rule #37 with a link to Them. I laughed but also was embarrassed about my socklength, blue bib colour, EPMS, framepump, 750ml bidon, valve-stem caps, washer nuts, aero skewer position and Wookie-fur. And btw, the Gilette Venus razors also come in blue...