This note arrived to the Velominati Bunker back in April. It was a confession. It was a cautionary one. Everyone knows someone who has done this. I nearly did it myself*. I replied to Alex, not sympathetically enough yet his message has stayed with me. Is this worthy of a New Rule?
Yours in Cycling, Gianni
Dear illustrious members ,
I wondered if the members had a Rule for irregular removal of bikes from roof, off vehicle? I feel the need to explain a little incident that occurred after picking up my two Specialized bikes from storage after having moved house.
Both bikes were sitting comfortably on the Thule roof rack and we were making good headway back to my new residence in Bourne end. I had both my boys in the car and was a little distracted with a conversation with my eldest. Mentioned in the conversation was the issue of lunch. So it made sense to pull into Waitrose to get a bite to eat. Err need I go on? We entered into Waitrose at a good speed.
There was a horrendous noise that I cannot describe and still haunts me, followed by the sound of breaking glass as both bikes and roof rack hit the ground after briefly entering the boot through the rear window.
Some of you will remember an incident, many years ago, to a chap called Marcellus. I remember thinking I would never be stupid enough to drive my car through a barrier with a bike on top of my roof. Well I have exceeded this by wrecking my bike and my girlfriend’s bike. oops
Training is on hold for the moment.
Proposed Rule #96 -Twatting your bike.
Driver and also owner of bikes on roof of car, removes bikes from roof of car by driving through a barrier. Owner of bike shall be referred to as a twat until bike has been replaced, or repaired. Exceptions are if wife or girlfriend is driving car in which case a possible conspiracy theory may have to be investigated. This confirms the need for Rule #12: the number of bikes owned should be N +1. You can at least be sure of a spare available.
Waitrose are suing me for damaging their barrier
Bastards
*Two identical Alan CX bikes on the roof of my car as I delivered a racer to the airport after he won the cyclocross nationals many years ago. Luckily the handlebars lightly hit a warning sign as I ripped into the departure drop off. Had that gone badly, I would have had to find another sport.
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Youse guys are hilarious.
Bikes sometimes are transported on the roofs of vehicles. Get over it. It's not a measure of character if one does it or not.
That being said, I have roof racks to carry my multiple bikes. I know that it's inevitable that such things will be driven into low hanging impediments. The strategy is to mount the bikes with rear wheel facing forward.
What this does in the event of the unthinkable happening is to impact the rear wheel on whatever it is that you've hit. This will most likely push the crossbars off the rails leaving the bikes surprisingly intact. It leaves the really expensive bits prone to damage like brakes, shifters and forks out of harms way. Also keeps the bugs off the front of the bikes from those late evening summertime drives.
Of the two times that my (now) ex drove our bikes into our garage (blame baby brain - lack of sleep), the only damage was to the racks themselves, well and the roof of the car where the rack clamps created a mighty furrow in the bodywork. The wheels and the rest of the bike were completely undamaged. These were easily repaired using McGyver skills.
I can't claim innocence though. I drove my cross bike into my carport after winning a race series. My euphoria was somewhat dampened. Again, damage to the rack and a saddle destroyed but that was all.
Also, my children upon the completion of the carport incident heard the use of the word fuck in a sentence about 12 times. A new record for me.
Drove my ti framed bike into the garage. Busted the carbon seat post and saddle. Destroyed the roof of the car. Derailed the garage door and put a huge hole in the stucco. Bike had a small scratch on the top tube. After that I was convinced ti was the way to go for a commuter.
Roof racks interfere with Rule 11, anyhow.
I transported three bikes and three people in a dinky Suzuki Swift (or Geo Metro for the Americans). Leave one rear seat unfolded, remove wheels, stow smartly. If it works for my size 60 TT frame, it works for anyone.
Reverence for the roof rack, especially when you've got one that gives great service -- and you can get the good from it. Even better when it's used randomly, making you even more aware of your bike.
@Rob
I've often thought that it would be good to paint BIKES at the front (back?) of the garage on the wall, in day-glo yellow. A Yellow Sign of Authority, as it were.
@the-farmer
I too am one viewing away from a fender bender, Ohhhhhh look at that pretty lass in the bikini/sarong/smaller bikini/that's too small for a bikini, what is that? They are everywhere, worn beautifully. And a hazard to navigation in beach parking lots.
I don't carry my bikes on the roof, but if I did, I would install one of those antenna like 'flag on a pole' sans flag, the mines legistate around here. If you don't have a bull bar, there are bonnet mounts for antenna's that you could use easily. It would look just like an antenna, BUT being the same or similar height to the bike on your roof, it would altert and remind you of the bikes up there and also act as a measuring stick if you intend to drive under a low object.
@DCR yup, mate of mine just hit a roo at 30kph on his Moots, frame looks untouched. Not sure the wheel will true out though.