This note arrived to the Velominati Bunker back in April. It was a confession. It was a cautionary one. Everyone knows someone who has done this. I nearly did it myself*. I replied to Alex, not sympathetically enough yet his message has stayed with me. Is this worthy of a New Rule?
Yours in Cycling, Gianni
Dear illustrious members ,
I wondered if the members had a Rule for irregular removal of bikes from roof, off vehicle? I feel the need to explain a little incident that occurred after picking up my two Specialized bikes from storage after having moved house.
Both bikes were sitting comfortably on the Thule roof rack and we were making good headway back to my new residence in Bourne end. I had both my boys in the car and was a little distracted with a conversation with my eldest. Mentioned in the conversation was the issue of lunch. So it made sense to pull into Waitrose to get a bite to eat. Err need I go on? We entered into Waitrose at a good speed.
There was a horrendous noise that I cannot describe and still haunts me, followed by the sound of breaking glass as both bikes and roof rack hit the ground after briefly entering the boot through the rear window.
Some of you will remember an incident, many years ago, to a chap called Marcellus. I remember thinking I would never be stupid enough to drive my car through a barrier with a bike on top of my roof. Well I have exceeded this by wrecking my bike and my girlfriend’s bike. oops
Training is on hold for the moment.
Proposed Rule #96 -Twatting your bike.
Driver and also owner of bikes on roof of car, removes bikes from roof of car by driving through a barrier. Owner of bike shall be referred to as a twat until bike has been replaced, or repaired. Exceptions are if wife or girlfriend is driving car in which case a possible conspiracy theory may have to be investigated. This confirms the need for Rule #12: the number of bikes owned should be N +1. You can at least be sure of a spare available.
Waitrose are suing me for damaging their barrier
Bastards
*Two identical Alan CX bikes on the roof of my car as I delivered a racer to the airport after he won the cyclocross nationals many years ago. Luckily the handlebars lightly hit a warning sign as I ripped into the departure drop off. Had that gone badly, I would have had to find another sport.
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This was my solution to having my bikes on the rook of my truck for 3 days while moving cross country. Never ran into anything.
@GeeTee
yet a 21yr old only got a $4.5k fine & lost her licence for 9 months after admitting she hit a cyclist while on the phone & didn't give a shit...
http://www.standard.net.au/story/2219242/i-just-dont-care-texting-p-plate-driver-hits-cyclist/?cs=73
http://www.standard.net.au/story/2225030/support-flows-for-texting-crash-victim/
and yes, she happily went out & got busted for drink driving in between the accident & the court case because she knew she was going to lose her licence anyway...
@Gianni
Yeah but G, ogling crops is just how we roll in the countryside, besides Scotland's too cold for anything less than 3 layers!
@Chris
I've been thinking about this one; have I found a convenient Rule 25 loophole? After all the family's bikes are transported on a dedicated conveyance that is worth less than any one of the bikes (apart from the green one which has subsequently been replaced by a rather nice 24 inch wheeled road/CX bike for the youngest velonipper).
@Mikael Liddy
Wow. What a twat. Nine months isn't enough. :-(
I've only ever used a trunk-mount removable rack when carrying >2 bikes. I can fit two road bikes quite nicely in the back of my car with the back seats folded down. When I put a rack on, my mileage turns to crap, so I prefer to put 'em inside.
Damn I missed this article! Holidays on the Isle of Lewis unfortunately yield very poor internet connection and zero mobile phone signal. I know someone who has done this and the tears and self loathing she endured still haunt me to this day. I drive with 2 roof fork mounted bikes and this occurs to me on a regular basis but not so often that I can be confident it will never happen to me. Love the rule....can we not find something more imaginative that twat though....it seems somehow to underplay the moment of realisation. I am struggling for an alternative but there must be some great words/descriptions out out there...or should the person just not be referred to as Marcellus?
Roof rack attached to car by suction cups! Hmmmm?????
Good enough for LeMan to sell those suckers!
@sthilzy Yeah those sucker things are popular out here for people wanting to put bikes on their Porsches - they seem to work and I haven't heard any horror stories of them coming off.
Merckx is happy to be on top.