Categories: The Rules

Irreverence: Starting with Rules 48 and 49

The sturdiest seat post clamp in the world?

My work has me spending much time on college and university campuses. Among the myriad fads that are sweeping the dirtbag and hipster college student sets these days is riding the retro bike around. My feelings on this fad is “more power to them”. I’ve got no qualms with college students on meager incomes recycling old steel bikes found in landfills or yard sales.

Every once in a while a really cool old bike will find its way onto the rack outside my office building. One of my students, a kid named Mike, rides a classy old Flandria fixie. Mostly what I see though are dilapidated rides that leave me wondering if they would even work. That is until I see the bike’s owner pedaling across campus to their dorm or next class.

The Rule violations on these machines are countless. Just look at the picture above. The rider of this bike obviously has no awareness of Rule #48 and Rule #49, let alone an attempt at following them. I ask though, do the Rules even apply to bikes and riders such as this? Probably not. Like the coffee trader in Rwanda, the bike taxi in India, or the messenger in the city, these bikes are merely beasts of burden and serve their riders only in function, ignoring form.

Far be it from me to critique these dedicated cyclists using a canon of Rules they know nothing about. Whatever their motivations are for riding, whether it be retro-posuer style, some ideal of being green, utility, economy, etc., they are undoubtedly riding more than I am through the winter months. I can’t fault them for that.

Marko

Marko lives and rides in the upper midwest of the States, Minnesota specifically. "Cycling territory" and "the midwest" don't usually end up in the same sentence unless the conversation turns to the roots of LeMond, Hampsten, Heiden and Ochowitz. While the pavé and bergs of Flanders are his preferred places to ride, you can usually find him harvesting gravel along forest and farm roads. He owes a lot to Cycling and his greatest contribution to cycling may forever be coining the term Rainbow Turd.

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View Comments

Cyclops says:

Mar 29 2011 at 3:01 pm

Ah, GT's iconic "Triple Triangle". It revolutionized cycling as we know it. I think the proper term is "revolting".
mcsqueak says:

Mar 29 2011 at 3:10 pm

@frank

Thanks Frank. I did a bit more research, and I'm totally down with trying out new things from an innovation approach, especially if you're of a class of cyclist that is attempting the hour record.

However, seeing people ride around town with their handlebars all fucked up and with all manner of weird attachments, bar-ends, and other assorted accessories, I just don't get it. Even for "beast of burden bikes", as you had to do work and go out of your way to make the handlebars like that, rather than just keeping them normal.

All that being said, even though I drive a lot for work, I am with most others here and would rather see more bikes out and about, even if I wouldn't personally ride that style.
Sam says:

Mar 29 2011 at 3:26 pm

@all
with regards to hipster's this film recounts the fixie scene in paris. Can't decide if they're douchebags or not, i've wanted a fixie for a while for the training benefits, but if i look like some of these guys it might not be worth it.
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Mar 29 2011 at 3:29 pm

I think the fun of making a townie out of an old frame is finding the frame, and then finding the parts to hang on it. The owner should be restricted to spending $100 U.S. or less. If you walk into a bike shop in Houston and tell them what you're doing, they almost always help you out. In fact, most wrenches I talk to have at least one nearly free bike project going all the time, either for themselves, or to sell to a hipster.
Steampunk says:

Mar 29 2011 at 3:32 pm

frank:
@packfiller

tell me the bars weren't upside down, tell me the bars weren't upside down...
That is the kiss of death for any 'former' bicycle.

Not always...but yes, usually.

What's the story, then, with bullhorns? 'Cause I'm awfully tempted to slap them on this build. Moreover, sawed-off drops turned upside down...
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Mar 29 2011 at 3:40 pm

@Steampunk
I think a straight bar looks better. I wouldn't cut them super-short as is the trend right now. Too hard to control the bike. Keep 'em a little wider than your shoulders.
frank says:

Mar 29 2011 at 3:50 pm

@Steampunk
Maybe we can get Jim to grace us with his input here; he had a set of bull horns on his commuter and then switched back to drops. I'd say bull horns are great for TT's, but they don't offer much in the way of positions. Except without the extra empty hoods.

When I finally get around to building a townie, it will be with mustache bars, built up Bridgestone-style soas to offer loads of positions.
Oli Brooke-White says:

Mar 29 2011 at 3:57 pm

Cyclops:
Ah, GT's iconic "Triple Triangle". It revolutionized cycling as we know it. I think the proper term is "revolting".

This design was around for nearly a hundred years before GT decided to use it as a marketing point of difference...
Oli Brooke-White says:

Mar 29 2011 at 3:58 pm

Marko:
what to make of the world champion stripes though?

Upside down, note. Does that mean the opposite of World Champion?
mcsqueak says:

Mar 29 2011 at 4:07 pm

@Steampunk

I think bullhorns are alright, as it mimics basically the same position you've have if you had drop bars and were up on the hoods. I think the brakes people mount on the ends look awful, though. One of my friends has a Specialized single speed set up like that, and it seemed fairly comfortable.

@Jeff in PetroMetro

I see people around here on fixies with handlebars cut so skinny that their hands are resting just on both sides of the stem, and the bars are barely wider than their hands. I can't imagine it is very comfortable or easy to control at speed.