Categories: The Rules

Irreverence: Starting with Rules 48 and 49

The sturdiest seat post clamp in the world?

My work has me spending much time on college and university campuses.  Among the myriad fads that are sweeping the dirtbag and hipster college student sets these days is riding the retro bike around.  My feelings on this fad is “more power to them”.  I’ve got no qualms with college students on meager incomes recycling old steel bikes found in landfills or yard sales.

Every once in a while a really cool old bike will find its way onto the rack outside my office building.  One of my students, a kid named Mike, rides a classy old Flandria fixie.  Mostly what I see though are dilapidated rides that leave me wondering if they would even work.  That is until I see the bike’s owner pedaling across campus to their dorm or next class.

The Rule violations on these machines are countless.  Just look at the picture above.  The rider of this bike obviously has no awareness of Rule #48 and Rule #49, let alone an attempt at following them.  I ask though, do the Rules even apply to bikes and riders such as this?  Probably not.  Like the coffee trader in Rwanda, the bike taxi in India, or the messenger in the city, these bikes are merely beasts of burden and serve their riders only in function, ignoring form.

Far be it from me to critique these dedicated cyclists using a canon of Rules they know nothing about.   Whatever their motivations are for riding, whether it be retro-posuer style, some ideal of being green, utility, economy, etc., they are undoubtedly riding more than I am through the winter months.   I can’t fault them for that.

Marko

Marko lives and rides in the upper midwest of the States, Minnesota specifically. "Cycling territory" and "the midwest" don't usually end up in the same sentence unless the conversation turns to the roots of LeMond, Hampsten, Heiden and Ochowitz. While the pavé and bergs of Flanders are his preferred places to ride, you can usually find him harvesting gravel along forest and farm roads. He owes a lot to Cycling and his greatest contribution to cycling may forever be coining the term Rainbow Turd.

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  • mcsqueak :
    @Jeff in PetroMetro
    I see people around here on fixies with handlebars cut so skinny that their hands are resting just on both sides of the stem, and the bars are barely wider than their hands. I can't imagine it is very comfortable or easy to control at speed.

    Given that a handlebar narrower than the width of your hips is kinda stupid (I negotiate my bars through a tight space only to have my hips make impact?) this setup only works for hipsters with their unnaturally skinny hips. Respect.

  • mcsqueak :
    I see people around here on fixies with handlebars cut so skinny that their hands are resting just on both sides of the stem, and the bars are barely wider than their hands. I can't imagine it is very comfortable or easy to control at speed.

    Agreed. 8" handlebars = tosser. Possibly the only thing of this length they're able to place in their hand/s.

    Nice post Marko BTW.

    No one has commented on the rear reflector? A much undervalued addition to any bike rider's safety along with the rear wheel plastic disc (which has had plenty of prior discourse here).

  • @mcsqueak

    @Marcus

    "It is the pervading law of all things organic and inorganic,
    Of all things physical and metaphysical,
    Of all things human and all things super-human,
    Of all true manifestations of the head,
    Of the heart, of the soul,
    That the life is recognizable in its expression,
    That form ever follows function. This is the law."
    This is from Louis Sullivan. He's the architect who brought us out of the Victorian era of superfluous ornamentation. It works for bikes. The whole fixie thing originated from bike messengers who needed a quick, simple, indestructible means of transportation so they could efficiently do their jobs.

    Hipsters have since moved these bikes into a place of tasteless ornamentation. It's too bad.

  • @ steampunk
    Bullhorns = douche - to be avoided at all costs. Risers for function or drops for aesthetics if you are setting up a fixie/singlespeed - decision may depend on whether you plan on running just a front brake or front and rear with hoods - and while I'm at it track pedals and cages (such as MKS sylvans) - doublestraps if you want to take it to the next level - unless you feel strongly about mtb pedals. And run a low gear combination while you are at it e.g. around 69 gear inches - 46 front 18 rear is ideal for flat terrain - fixed riding (in particular) is about spinning not grinding.
    My 5c worth.

  • @frank
    I didn't know Pineapple Bob was the Belgian National Champion back in the early 90's. Or the picture shows a flagrant rule violation. Hello? Rule 16?

  • Frank said:
    ...Rules are suspended for Beast of Burden bikes; but that isn't to say that Good Taste doesn't apply.

    I could not agree more Frank and I'd like to add that some 'original ideas' taken without much common sense, could drive to nasty accident.

  • Just because pedantry is my bag, Pineapple Bob isn't wearing the Belgian National Champions jersey it's just the Belgian National Team jersey.

  • Recently in the Sydney CBD I spotted a hipster douchebag clown riding a Cervelo track bike as a fixie. It was wrong on so many levels.

  • @Kiwicyclist
    Falling back on @JPM's assertion that the build should cost as little as possible, the bullhorns are/were free, as they came with the frame.

    The gears is a whole other question, though. 46x17/18 would be ideal, but for the fact that there are a number of small-but-big-enough-hills around here that I would have to negotiate with a 15kg velomitoddler on the back (we live in the mid-range of a valley). This may take some trial and error to get right, but I was actually thinking of starting with 44x18, which hopefully wouldn't lead to too insane a cadence on the flat and reduce the amount of grinding going uphill. Brakes are a spouse-induced necessity, apparently...

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