Belgian Affirmations

La Vie Velominatus: Flemish Tan Lines

A select group of people appreciate this look.

Clouds hang heavy in the sky, plump with a rain which contemplates the opportunity to hurl itself towards the Earth below. I get the sense that we wait for each other, the Rain and I; the rain relishes the opportunity to soak my clothes and skin, seeking to corrode my resolve while I cherish the opportunity to prove to myself that it will not be shaped by such things.

As a kid, I had an illustrated book of Aesop’s Fables. This time of year, I’m often reminded of one fable in particular, that of the Wind and the Sun. As the tale goes, the two are in the midst of an argument over which is the stronger when they spot a traveller on the road below. The Sun suggests that whichever of them can cause the traveller to take off his cloak will be declared the winner. The Wind blows and blows with all its might but the traveller only pulls his cloak closer. The Sun, on the other hand, beams with all its yellow glory, and the traveller soon finds it too hot for his cloak and discards it.

Aesop’s moral was that kindness is more effective than severity, but that sounds a lot like it would require introspection to really digest. Instead, I like to think of myself as the traveller and my resolve as the cloak; the worse the weather, the closer I pull it to me and the more determined I am to hold my course. In fact, this concept extends to any hardship in life; the greater the challenge, the stronger my determination.

So there we are, the Rain and I, waiting for each other; me with my cloak and the Rain with its severity. At this time of year, when the skies have turned grey but the chill hasn’t yet arrived to keep it company, I enjoy waiting for the rain to fall before embarking on my rides. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the questioning looks from the neighbors who descend from their homes in coats and hiding beneath their umbrellas for the journey from front door to automobile; they serve as further evidence that the public still has some distance yet to cover before understanding the Velominatus.

The rain pours down and in minutes soaks my clothes. Rain drops drip from the brim of my cycling cap; when I clench my fist, water steams from the fingers of my gloves. The roads are soaked; both the rain and traffic cast debris towards the gutters. My path crosses between the two and the grit and dirt afloat in the rain water are flung onto my machine and body.

When I return home from the ride, the evidence of my journey is carried in my clothing which is heavy with water and debris. Overshoes and knee warmers, once removed, reveal my Flemish Tan Lines via the clean skin beneath.

Perhaps Flanders is a place not defined by the borders between people, but between wool and flesh. Vive la Vie Velominatus.

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187 Replies to “La Vie Velominatus: Flemish Tan Lines”

  1. @frank I call BS on your BS call. You cannot argue with the first part of my statement because it’s entirely true – historically, club cyclists in the UK have used mudguards on their rain bikes or not been welcome on group rides. Fact. I was baiting about the US part because I don’t know what the culture is, but it seems to me to that mudguards simply aren’t as common in the road scene as they are in the UK. This is not bullshit, it’s an observation.

    Secondly, function over form sums up things quite well, if you don’t try and take one tiny facet of what I said and  try and make it fit your very obvious bias – in the UK people don’t seem to mind the added weight (minimal, and on a rain bike who the fuck  cares?), noise (only if you’re incapable of installing them correctly as, by your own admission, you appear to be), making it harder to change tyre (total rubbish – a wheel will drop out of a frame exactly the same whether or not it has mudguards or not), inability to fork-mount it in the car (most rational people would set their bike up to optimise riding, not transporting by car. I suspect this is a particularly US concern), and make maintenance and cleanup harder (marginally true, but the whole point is that the rain bike is ridden through winter with only basic external maintenance, then cleaned up in spring ready for the following winter).

    Form over function really just meant that I believe you prefer the look of your bike without ‘guards, and function over form meant that a bike that’s set up to ride in the rain as it’s primary function has had such petty concerns as looks put aside.

    Finally, your idea that somehow carbon and titanium bikes are magically better protected from the elements than stell is just risible. If you had actually worked in bike shops all your life instead of fondling your own fine stable, you’d have come across a delightful phenomenon called galvanic corrosion and, like me, you’d have spent hours of hard physical labour trying to remove steel and/or aluminium bottom brackets and/or seatposts fused into ti and/or carbon frames, seen rivets on carbon and ti frames pull clean off because they’ve corroded from rain and salt. You might have had to drill out cable housings rusted into them, or not been able to remove a fork because the carbon steerer has been fused to the top race of the headset. 

    You have to remember that most people aren’t able/don’t have the time/don’t have the ability or handy bike shop to be able to be proactive as regards to maintenance, so your standards aren’t a good guide as to what works and what doesn’t. For many people (not all, of course) a bike set up with mudguards is a damn good idea, so perhaps you should just accept that and deal with it.

    I await your cherry-picked retort with fond anticipation. :-)

  4. @Oli

    The whole mudguards/no mudguards thing is a cultural divide, as far as I can see. It’s historic in the UK to have a properly equipped rain bike, whereas in the US it’s all about having a bike that looks like it should be in a race, no matter what the weather. UK = function before form, US = form over function.

    I should point out that I’m also in the minority here in the states; in the PNW fenders are ubiquitous. I think @Scaler911 and I are the only two who ride without.

    @Oli

    @frank I call BS on your BS call. You cannot argue with the first part of my statement because it’s entirely true – historically, club cyclists in the UK have used mudguards on their rain bikes or not been welcome on group rides. Fact. I was baiting about the US part because I don’t know what the culture is, but it seems to me to that mudguards simply aren’t as common in the road scene as they are in the UK. This is not bullshit, it’s an observation.

    Secondly, function over form sums up things quite well, if you don’t try and take one tiny facet of what I said and try and make it fit your very obvious bias – in the UK people don’t seem to mind the added weight (minimal, and on a rain bike who the fuck cares?), noise (only if you’re incapable of installing them correctly as, by your own admission, you appear to be), making it harder to change tyre (total rubbish – a wheel will drop out of a frame exactly the same whether or not it has mudguards or not), inability to fork-mount it in the car (most rational people would set their bike up to optimise riding, not transporting by car. I suspect this is a particularly US concern), and make maintenance and cleanup harder (marginally true, but the whole point is that the rain bike is ridden through winter with only basic external maintenance, then cleaned up in spring ready for the following winter).

    Form over function really just meant that I believe you prefer the look of your bike without ‘guards, and function over form meant that a bike that’s set up to ride in the rain as it’s primary function has had such petty concerns as looks put aside.

    Finally, your idea that somehow carbon and titanium bikes are magically better protected from the elements than stell is just risible. If you had actually worked in bike shops all your life instead of fondling your own fine stable, you’d have come across a delightful phenomenon called galvanic corrosion and, like me, you’d have spent hours of hard physical labour trying to remove steel and/or aluminium bottom brackets and/or seatposts fused into ti and/or carbon frames, seen rivets on carbon and ti frames pull clean off because they’ve corroded from rain and salt. You might have had to drill out cable housings rusted into them, or not been able to remove a fork because the carbon steerer has been fused to the top race of the headset.

    You have to remember that most people aren’t able/don’t have the time/don’t have the ability or handy bike shop to be able to be proactive as regards to maintenance, so your standards aren’t a good guide as to what works and what doesn’t. For many people (not all, of course) a bike set up with mudguards is a damn good idea, so perhaps you should just accept that and deal with it.

    I await your cherry-picked retort with fond anticipation. :-)

    I don’t have time to read your response at the moment but I’ll try to remember to come back to it. It looks…thorough.

  5. @Oli

    @frank I call BS on your BS call. You cannot argue with the first part of my statement because it’s entirely true – historically, club cyclists in the UK have used mudguards on their rain bikes or not been welcome on group rides. Fact. I was baiting about the US part because I don’t know what the culture is, but it seems to me to that mudguards simply aren’t as common in the road scene as they are in the UK. This is not bullshit, it’s an observation.

    Secondly, function over form sums up things quite well, if you don’t try and take one tiny facet of what I said and try and make it fit your very obvious bias – in the UK people don’t seem to mind the added weight (minimal, and on a rain bike who the fuck cares?), noise (only if you’re incapable of installing them correctly as, by your own admission, you appear to be), making it harder to change tyre (total rubbish – a wheel will drop out of a frame exactly the same whether or not it has mudguards or not), inability to fork-mount it in the car (most rational people would set their bike up to optimise riding, not transporting by car. I suspect this is a particularly US concern), and make maintenance and cleanup harder (marginally true, but the whole point is that the rain bike is ridden through winter with only basic external maintenance, then cleaned up in spring ready for the following winter).

    Form over function really just meant that I believe you prefer the look of your bike without ‘guards, and function over form meant that a bike that’s set up to ride in the rain as it’s primary function has had such petty concerns as looks put aside.

    Finally, your idea that somehow carbon and titanium bikes are magically better protected from the elements than stell is just risible. If you had actually worked in bike shops all your life instead of fondling your own fine stable, you’d have come across a delightful phenomenon called galvanic corrosion and, like me, you’d have spent hours of hard physical labour trying to remove steel and/or aluminium bottom brackets and/or seatposts fused into ti and/or carbon frames, seen rivets on carbon and ti frames pull clean off because they’ve corroded from rain and salt. You might have had to drill out cable housings rusted into them, or not been able to remove a fork because the carbon steerer has been fused to the top race of the headset.

    You have to remember that most people aren’t able/don’t have the time/don’t have the ability or handy bike shop to be able to be proactive as regards to maintenance, so your standards aren’t a good guide as to what works and what doesn’t. For many people (not all, of course) a bike set up with mudguards is a damn good idea, so perhaps you should just accept that and deal with it.

    I await your cherry-picked retort with fond anticipation. :-)

    Rule #5.

  6. @The Pressure I should state that the only bike I have mudguards on is my touring bike that hasn’t been used in years. I wouldn’t fit them on my road bike because I can’t stand the look of them. But just because I don’t like them doesn’t mean I don’t see the sense in them, and if I was in the UK I’d probably run them because everyone else does.

  7. @Oli

    @The Pressure I should state that the only bike I have mudguards on is my touring bike that hasn’t been used in years. I wouldn’t fit them on my road bike because I can’t stand the look of them. But just because I don’t like them doesn’t mean I don’t see the sense in them, and if I was in the UK I’d probably run them because everyone else does.

    Sorry Oli.  Was surprised to see you expounding the virtues of the ‘guards’…didn’t seem your style.  I agree with Frank.  If it’s raining and you’re riding, the guards aren’t worth a pinch.

  8. @The Pressure Even though I choose not to ride with them I don’t agree with that at all – as others have stated with ‘guards you don’t get the road crap shooting up into your face and, if you have added mudflaps as well, you don’t get nearly so much water directly aimed at your feet. Plus ‘guards keep the spray down for riders around you. I would state unequivocally that even though you still get wet with mudguards, you are definitely more comfortable and protected from the worst of things. And I say this from years of experience riding in Wellington rain both with and without mudguards.

  9. @HeinrichHauslersHairstyle

    I’ve kept my Cervelo S5 pristine since purchasing it in July…pre-dawn ride this morn in Melbourne Australia, didn’t check radar and got completely shat on by a fat lingering thundercloud hidden by the pre-dawn. Bike trashed and requiring total clean. The upside? Magnificent Belgian tan lines. Thanks for adjusting my expectation Velominatus!

    Missed your earlier post – but wanted to note your fantastic name. Excellent work.

  10. Wiggo hit by car!

    I miss my bendy, placticy/aluminium (I think they were Zefal) guards running a Sanyo dynamo light set – yeah…dynamo lights.

    Cars would flash their lights at me to dip my dynamo front light. When stopped the rectangle Wonder light was on.

    Couldn’t get the Flemish tan lines as wearing full length woollen riding ‘pants’.

    Now-a-days, CBF rain riding. If I get caught out, no wuckin furries!

    Hey Bradley! Want to borrow my dynamo lights?

  11. @Oli

    I deleted the first half of your post in my response because you went right back into extending my response completely beyond its scope and then moved into your customary approach to attack me personally because my reasoning differs The Globally Accepted Standard of Reason as defined by your view. Quite frankly we’ve had enough of these arguments and I’m quite sure we’ve worn through the vinyl on that record.

    But then you got into some interesting stuff that I’m more than happy to get into.

    Finally, your idea that somehow carbon and titanium bikes are magically better protected from the elements than stell is just risible.

    If you think this has anything to do with how well the bike itself is protected from the elements, you have misunderstood my point. What I’m saying is that the frame material itself is less likely to corrode. This is simply a matter of the material’s properties, which our restoration of a 1959 MGA is kindly demonstrating for us: the only part of the body which is salvagable is the hood. The hood is aluminum, the body is steel.

    If you had actually worked in bike shops all your life instead of fondling your own fine stable, you’d have come across a delightful phenomenon called galvanic corrosion and, like me, you’d have spent hours of hard physical labour trying to remove steel and/or aluminium bottom brackets and/or seatposts fused into ti and/or carbon frames, seen rivets on carbon and ti frames pull clean off because they’ve corroded from rain and salt. You might have had to drill out cable housings rusted into them, or not been able to remove a fork because the carbon steerer has been fused to the top race of the headset.

    You have to remember that most people aren’t able/don’t have the time/don’t have the ability or handy bike shop to be able to be proactive as regards to maintenance, so your standards aren’t a good guide as to what works and what doesn’t. For many people (not all, of course) a bike set up with mudguards is a damn good idea, so perhaps you should just accept that and deal with it.

    I have, in fact, dealt with this on other people’s bikes, despite not working in a bike shop. Where we differ on this is that I’m addressing the Velominati community, not Fred Who Rides a Bike and Neglects It.

    Second, basic maintenance like separating parts from each other regularly, cleaning the machine, oiling the chain is not the realm of the wealthy. Anyone with a multitool, soap and water, and a can of WD-40 can perform elementary bike maintenance. All it takes is interest and desire.

    From The Keepers page:

    A Velominatus is a disciple of the highest order.  We spend our days poring over the very essence of what makes ours such a special sport and how that essence  fits into cycling’s colorful fabric.  This is the Velominati’s raison d’être. This is where the Velominati can be ourselves. This is our agony – our badge of honor – our sin.

    Its great that you are here to point out the basics, but I’m addressing the Velominati.

    I await your cherry-picked retort with fond anticipation. :-)

    Get fucked!

  12. @Oli

    Just when I thought @frank was starting to muster some rational thought on this topic, along comes your fantastically well-reasoned argument.  Chapeau.

  15. @Oli

    @frank I call BS on your BS call. You cannot argue with the first part of my statement because it’s entirely true – historically, club cyclists in the UK have used mudguards on their rain bikes or not been welcome on group rides. Fact. I was baiting about the US part because I don’t know what the culture is, but it seems to me to that mudguards simply aren’t as common in the road scene as they are in the UK. This is not bullshit, it’s an observation.

    Secondly, function over form sums up things quite well, if you don’t try and take one tiny facet of what I said and try and make it fit your very obvious bias – in the UK people don’t seem to mind the added weight (minimal, and on a rain bike who the fuck cares?), noise (only if you’re incapable of installing them correctly as, by your own admission, you appear to be), making it harder to change tyre (total rubbish – a wheel will drop out of a frame exactly the same whether or not it has mudguards or not), inability to fork-mount it in the car (most rational people would set their bike up to optimise riding, not transporting by car. I suspect this is a particularly US concern), and make maintenance and cleanup harder (marginally true, but the whole point is that the rain bike is ridden through winter with only basic external maintenance, then cleaned up in spring ready for the following winter).

    Form over function really just meant that I believe you prefer the look of your bike without ‘guards, and function over form meant that a bike that’s set up to ride in the rain as it’s primary function has had such petty concerns as looks put aside.

    Finally, your idea that somehow carbon and titanium bikes are magically better protected from the elements than stell is just risible. If you had actually worked in bike shops all your life instead of fondling your own fine stable, you’d have come across a delightful phenomenon called galvanic corrosion and, like me, you’d have spent hours of hard physical labour trying to remove steel and/or aluminium bottom brackets and/or seatposts fused into ti and/or carbon frames, seen rivets on carbon and ti frames pull clean off because they’ve corroded from rain and salt. You might have had to drill out cable housings rusted into them, or not been able to remove a fork because the carbon steerer has been fused to the top race of the headset.

    You have to remember that most people aren’t able/don’t have the time/don’t have the ability or handy bike shop to be able to be proactive as regards to maintenance, so your standards aren’t a good guide as to what works and what doesn’t. For many people (not all, of course) a bike set up with mudguards is a damn good idea, so perhaps you should just accept that and deal with it.

    I await your cherry-picked retort with fond anticipation. :-)

    I’ll bite (sorry, been absorbed in politics the last couple days). Firstly, and I know you’re the bike shop authority ’round these parts, but getting your wheel out is a bigger pain in the ass, especially if you’re retro fitting a old race frame with closer tolerances with fenders. And you do “proper” PNW fender extensions (riveting half a old bidon to the end of the fender so it almost hits the ground). Race Blades on a touring or ‘cross bike and sure the wheel pops right out.

    I can’t really speak to the regional thing. Around here, it’s kinda personal. That said, if you throw them on your commuter, fine. But if it’s raining you’re still getting wet from the shit falling from the sky! 

    Did a 90+Km ride with 16 guys on Saturday. It had rained hard all night. Fenders all around and I came home filthy and wet. And My bike was a bigger pain in the ass to clean since I had to (painfully) pull off the wheels and get into the nooks.

    Noisy? Well fuck yes. Mine don’t rattle at all, but the leaves and pine needles get caught between the tire and fender. So annoying I have to stop and remove them.

    So since I’m going to be wet anyway, why bother with the expense and hassle of “mud guards”? Fuck ’em.

  16. @Oli

    @scaler911

    @frank

    You ride in the rain? Loons. That’s quality time you could be sitting around inside with a cup of hot chocolate admiring the pristine lines of your clean, dry bike while your manhood slowly withers and dies inside you. There’s nothing quite as satisfying as owning a wardrobe of pristine, clean new rain kit and never, ever using it but knowing you could if you ever – and I really mean never – rode in the rain.

    I’m off the the Rapha shop to buy some Tweed armwarmers and mustache embrocation for an upcoming Whiskey and chappettes ride. Course I’ll get to wear my Llama skin Cagoule if it rains but I won’t be going outside, no sir.

  18. @frank

    @Oli

    I Second, basic maintenance like separating parts from each other regularly, cleaning the machine, oiling the chain is not the realm of the wealthy. Anyone with a multitool, soap and water, and a can of WD-40 can perform elementary bike maintenance. All it takes is interest and desire

    Oh shit.  Now you’ve done it.

  19. Way to go!  The debate has ranged far and wide whilst I was getting some much needed beauty sleep!  I am not going to quote everyone because it would turn in to an essay but long story short:

    1.  The fact that you put mudguards on your rain bike or touring bike (no-one is espousing putting them on any other bikes) does not make you less of Velominatus….there is no rule breach here….I think the cultural argument has a lot of merit….in many clubs in the UK you would be asked to have mudguards on winter bikes….you have elected to ride with a club and generally that is the club ethos over here.

    2.  It has got fuck all to do with rain falling on you.  At least give us some credit, we are on this site ffs riding in the rain is a joy, I for one love it (although for some reason I like it a little less actually starting in the rain, but to get caught out in it is brilliant).  It is about the crap that gets sprayed up off the road.  The rear guard is for the benefit of others behind you (see point 1) the front guard does something (something is better than nothing) to keep oil, pine needles (and related resins) stones chips, leaves, used condoms etc from our narrow, poorly maintained roads, off your bottom bracket.  This is not about Rule #5 this is about club riding culture in the UK and doing what you can to protect or lessen damage over time to your beloved machine.  I am not a bike mechanic so Ill defer to Oli there all I can say is that I have been told many many many times by long term experienced riders and bike mechanics that front guards lessen the clag and shit getting onto the BB and that is likely to help prolong the life of the equipment.

    3.  Weighs more…give me a break…the heavier the bike the harder you work, the harder you work the more badass you are.  Noisier….yes….a bit, this does contravene one of the sought after principles but it is a trade off against other benefits and remember this is not your N1 bike we are talking about here.  Stuff rattling up through the guards….I know what you mean but this could be a frame vs clearance issue.  It is to my dismay that I bought a winter trainer with clearance only for 23mm tyres on mudguards, I have tried running with 24mm but as has been mentioned everything and anything gets stuck in them and the scraping is never ending so I am compelled to stick with my conti gatorskins and destined never to ride a glorious set of Open Paves and this makes me sad.  I take the point about the difference between Velominati and cycling enthusiasts but I don’t actually see a conflict here.  A dedicated winter trainer is sensible, more comfortable, more enjoyable here in the UK in our climate, with our narrow shitty poorly maintained roads in our crowded country with all the detritus, oil, and general crap we get to peruse on our way through.

    Ultimately if you absolutely believe that mudguards are a no no or somehow Anti-V then that is up to you but the idea that one is completely right and the other completely wrong looks like the difference between passion and fundamentalism to me…

    Essentially you should equip your bike the way you believe you can best serve The Prophet, that means keep one eye on the Rules and another on the Masturbation Principle.  Ride like a Lion, deploy the guns where they can do most damage and most of all VLVV.

  20. Fuck that was not short….forget the “Long Story Short” bit of my last post I should have said “Long Story Long”!

  21. Ok. Thats it. Its been said before but not this go round: fiken fenders dont look pro or fantastic. Some people find them functional. Ok?

  23. Seems to me that everyone is missing the fucking point here, as @frank rightly conceded thy’re call mud guards. That’s because they’re for dealing with mud.

    So what if riders have always used them in the UK, it’s a generational thing born out of shit clothing and crap NHS eyewear. You wouldn’t be seen dead riding around in the sort of crap they wore in the fifties in the UK so why persist with the technology?

    If you look after your bike properly, the BB protection argument falls over, it should always be so clean that your other half can’t find any reason for it not be in the house.

  24. @frank Brilliant! Better than I expected. You called what I said “BS” which I could, but didn’t, consider a personal attack, and I rebutted point by point. Please advise where I attacked you? I don’t think in any way I’m “The Globally Accepted Standard of Reason”, but I can’t have got the memo where I was instructed not to disagree with you any more? No need to get the pip when all I was doing was giving back what I got…

    And here’s a newsflash, you’re actually disagreeing with other parts of the Velominati community, not just Fred Who Rides a Bike and Neglects It. In my inimitable style I was trying to take your advice and add to it for those who are here and perhaps still learning. A bicycle isn’t just a frame, so I think my points were valid. Sorry if you disagree, and sorry for daring to posit my opinion.

    At the end of the day @gaswepass has summed it up perfectly – use them or don’t use them, I really don’t give a shit.

  25. @Chris

    If you look after your bike properly, the BB protection argument falls over, it should always be so clean that your other half can’t find any reason for it not be in the house.

    What, there are people out there who don’t store their bike in the house?!?

    My wife has to compete with the Wilier for her side of the bed….

  26. @Adrian I know it sounds bizarre but there are people out there who wouldn’t consider bringing their bikes into the house.

    I can’t imagine the hassle that would cause when it came to bike cleaning time, I’d have to round up all the things that I’d need, kids tooth brushes, wife’s best pyrex dishes, her Wills and Kate souvenir tea towel and take them all outside.

  27. @Chris

    @Adrian I know it sounds bizarre but there are people out there who wouldn’t consider bringing their bikes into the house.

    I can’t imagine the hassle that would cause when it came to bike cleaning time, I’d have to round up all the things that I’d need, kids tooth brushes, wife’s best pyrex dishes, her Wills and Kate souvenir tea towel and take them all outside.

    What you don’t shower with your bike?

  28. @Deakus If I had one of those fancy wet room shower set ups then I might well do but I’ve gotten in enough trouble for accidentally pulling the cubicle door off when slightly squiffy. Getting a bike wedged in there would probably get me and the bike relegated to the garage.

  29. @Deakus

    @Chris

    @Adrian I know it sounds bizarre but there are people out there who wouldn’t consider bringing their bikes into the house.

    I can’t imagine the hassle that would cause when it came to bike cleaning time, I’d have to round up all the things that I’d need, kids tooth brushes, wife’s best pyrex dishes, her Wills and Kate souvenir tea towel and take them all outside.

    What you don’t shower with your bike?

    Or have to carry your wheels back outside to the bike after removing them from the dishwasher! The Horror!

  30. @Adrian Do bike wheels actually fit in the dishwasher? You learn something new everyday.

    Ever since reading this I’ve avoided sticking bike related stuff in the dishwasher. They’re best kept cleaning dishes and small children.

  31. @Chris

    @Adrian Do bike wheels actually fit in the dishwasher? You learn something new everyday.

    Ever since reading this I’ve avoided sticking bike related stuff in the dishwasher. They’re best kept cleaning dishes and small children.

    It was a pre-requisite when we brought the dishwasher……never actually tried if the kids will fit, thanks for the idea!

  32. Mudguards V no mudguards…

    Slide back to engage the quads V slide forward to engage the quads…

    Black shoes V white shoes…

    Helmets V no helmets…

    Yawn. There’s only one way to move on:

  33. @Adrian

    @Chris

    @Adrian Do bike wheels actually fit in the dishwasher? You learn something new everyday.

    Ever since reading this I’ve avoided sticking bike related stuff in the dishwasher. They’re best kept cleaning dishes and small children.

    It was a pre-requisite when we brought the dishwasher……never actually tried if the kids will fit, thanks for the idea!

    More seriously though I recently had to pull a rear freehub apart when I started to get a weird “slipping” sensation on the pedal stroke.  It turns out one of the retainers (not sure of the word) that drop down when freewheeling had broken….I think in fact it was the coil spring.  The reason….over aggressive bike love!

    I had sought to make my rear cassette sparkle like the star of david over the manager and resorted to using something called Wonder Wheels.  This stuff is great for alloy wheel cleaning but Vbad for your rear hub, I guess because it strips out all of the grease and lubricant and leave metal grating on metal which is bound to end in tears in the end….

    Never to be repeated, when I want a spangly rear cassette now I remove it and soak in petrol (not indoors and NOT on a hot day!)…I just wipe the rear hub and bit down and give them a blast of GT85 (slightly runnier than WD40)…reassemble and Voila..

    Like masturbation….too much bike love can cause unlubricated parts to rub together with too much friction and disastrous results!

  34. @minion
    Here in TN it does not rain everyday (like the Pacific NW), so it is generally possible to pick and choose the better weather for riding. I don’t mind being out on the ride and getting wet (Rule 9 cold/wet), but starting out in the downpour (deluge, frog-strangler, etc.) is counter intuitve and time to work in the garage/shop on another project.  I am also open to changing my riding plans to accomodate the different conditions.  I’ll ride my cross bike on the mixed gravel-rail path-pavement loop, or go MTB if the trails in the woods are not going to be adversly affected. Still I have my #2 (alu-carbon) for the roads where there is certain to be grime from the intermittent rain and melted snow & ice we experience during the so-called “off-season”.  Mostly for me though, this season is primarily about the logisticis of getting a ride in rather than sticking with some proscriptive training plan than prioritizes miles (km) over fun.  

  35. @Harminator

    Mudguards V no mudguards…
     

    Slide back to engage the quads V slide forward to engage the quads…

    Black shoes V white shoes…

    Helmets V no helmets…

    Yawn. There’s only one way to move on:


     

    Ahhhhhh, I thank everyone for this thread as it has ended perfectly!  Thanks Harminator for restoring some sanity around here. 

  36. @Harminator

    Mudguards V no mudguards…

    Slide back to engage the quads V slide forward to engage the quads…

    Black shoes V white shoes…

    Helmets V no helmets…

    Yawn. There’s only one way to move on:

    Now that’s a “V”!!

  37. @frank

    I’ve been using one of the Lezyne lights and its awesome. Can’t wait to get my hands on the double-headlight MegaDrive. Its like riding with the Eye of Sauron on your bike.

    +1. i have the super drive and love it. i pretty much never use the brightest mode, unless i’m in the middle of the woods on a bike path, in total darkness.  i’m interested in the mega drive; although it may be overkill for my needs. i’m more interested in their rear lights now as although i love my PDW danger zone, i dislike the attachment bracket and the lack of usb charging.

  38. @frank

    On the other hand, mud guards (I’ll concede this is the proper name, not fenders, by the way) add weight, noise, make it hard to change tire, can no longer fork-mount it in the car, and make maintenance and cleanup harder. I also suspect they increase tire wear since they rarely can keep off the damn things, but I eighty-sixed my fenders before I could prove that to be the case.

    weight – they add about 200 grams.  really, that’s a problem for you?  take a dump before your ride and call it a wash.  noise – not if set up correctly (see below).  changing tires – it actually impedes nothing, you just have to be a little careful (and we’re talking a winter/rain bike here; you should be running more puncture resistant tires anyway).  fork mounting – false.  i’ve tried a few different ones and all of them work.  even long mudflap ones work fine (the flap just flaps up).  maintenance – it’s actually WAY easier with fenders as there’s far less shit on your bike.  it’s just focused in a couple spots.  and you occasionally need to remove the wheels to clean under them.  much better than cleaning a bike without them thoroughly after every ride.  (not to mention your kit is generally a good bit cleaner as well.)  tire wear – again, not if set up correctly.

    my ultimate feeling on this is that mudguards should not be on a road bike that’s not made for them.  that means no sks raceblades or crud roadracers shoe-horned onto a carbon bike with short reach brakes, no chain stay mount, etc.  if your bike doesn’t have these features, don’t mount fenders to it.  that pretty much excludes all race-oriented bikes which, i’m sure we all can agree, look like shit with mudguards and should never be seen wearing them.  and as mentioned above, a bike made for them will have very little issues running them and your overall ride experience will not be adversely impacted at all; it will only improve.

  39. @Deakus

    Essentially you should equip your bike the way you believe you can best serve The Prophet, that means keep one eye on the Rules and another on The Masturbation Principle. Ride like a Lion, deploy the guns where they can do most damage and most of all VLVV.

    Hmmm, Like this you mean?

    Look Ma, no fenders (er, mudguards).

  40. I have a dedicated winter/rain bike… it has fenders… ahem mudguards. Clubs around here won’t let you ride or relegate you to the back of the bus if you show up for a winter ride with no fenders. I would gladly ride without them if someone else was doing my laundry and cleaning my bike after every ride.

    As for me… I like them and it keeps me riding in the Flandrianesque PNW weather. And done right, they don’t look that bad on race bike.

  41. @Deakus Diesel does much the same degreasing as petrol, but with a higher flashpoint.

    @All I love learning pointless shit due to threads like this, for I am an information whore. The topic pointed me to Wikipedia on rainfall. Where I live is 2000mm, Seattle proper 990mm, Some areas of Seattle metro 2500mm, and I feel for our fellow Velominati in Scotland, some areas there are 4500mm!

  43. @frank  Heinrich’s hair represents externally his internal battle in deciding between German or Australian nationality. ‘Do I measure my seat post height to the exact millimetre Deutscher style or do I not give a fuck, she’ll be right Digger?”

  45. @The Pressure

    Looks like our UK mates have more important things to worry about than guards…http://www.bikeradar.com/road/news/article/shane-sutton-in-hospital-after-cycling-crash-35725/

    Buzz is that the driver in Wiggo’s case will get put on an “Awareness Course”. There were no arrests in the Sutton case.

    But if you really want to depress yourself read what the trolls are saying in the article commentaries in the press. Thousands of innocent pedestrians are killed and maimed by cyclists and people get sooooo frustrated when they can’t pass people on bikes because they do less than 110kmh.

    Frankly many of my fellow citizens are a thoroughly nasty intolerant lot.

    Although when it comes to golf and ill trained dogs on paths the veins stand out on my forehead too – sigh.

  46. @Giles

    @IcemanYVR Fixed your post, but “done right, they don’t look that bad on a rain bike“.

    Now I’ve got visions of people with trouser clips, bowler hats and mudguards on Crits!  Even I can’t condone that…;)

  47. @the Engine

    @The Pressure

    Looks like our UK mates have more important things to worry about than guards…http://www.bikeradar.com/road/news/article/shane-sutton-in-hospital-after-cycling-crash-35725/

    Buzz is that the driver in Wiggo’s case will get put on an “Awareness Course”. There were no arrests in the Sutton case.

    But if you really want to depress yourself read what the trolls are saying in the article commentaries in the press. Thousands of innocent pedestrians are killed and maimed by cyclists and people get sooooo frustrated when they can’t pass people on bikes because they do less than 110kmh.

    Frankly many of my fellow citizens are a thoroughly nasty intolerant lot.

    Although when it comes to golf and ill trained dogs on paths the veins stand out on my forehead too – sigh.

    Apparently Wiggo was hit by a driver turning out of a petrol station…..

  49. @Giles

    @IcemanYVR Fixed your post, but “done right, they don’t look that bad on a rain bike“.

    @Deakus

    @Giles

    @IcemanYVR Fixed your post, but “done right, they don’t look that bad on a rain bike“.

    Now I’ve got visions of people with trouser clips, bowler hats and mudguards on Crits! Even I can’t condone that…;)

    Yes to both of you… I did in fact mean “RAIN” bike… cycling version of a freudian slip ;)

  50. I only hope that Wiggo’s crash will result in some new awareness by drivers, both in the UK and around the world. I doubt it will but I’ll keep hoping. It’s a stretch and definitely apples to oranges but I’ve been trying to channel the energies and attitude of those fighting for civil rights, whether in the U.S. or anywhere. It’s a long haul, the deck is stacked against us, but you have to keep on trying, can’t get too pessimistic, and can’t go around cussing and finger saluting everyone who is a reckless driver.

    More bike lanes, more cyclists by the day in my city. That’s great! And I’m getting involved with the cycling coalition. I really, really want to work on a mass Kids Bike to School day. If folks saw all those kids and were able to connect a bit more that everyone on a bike, whether 10 or 45, deserves more respect, space, and safety I think it could only help the situation improve.

    I had a dude tell me on Wednesday that I was going to get run over if I kept biking like that. “Oh Defensively Aggressive, do you mean?” I wanted to ask. Yeah right. Sorry I signaled and then moved over when you were 200 meters back. I definitely should have dismounted and used the crosswalk to navigate the intersection. I told him to have a nice day.

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