Categories: La Vie VelominatusLook ProThe Rules

La Vie Velominatus: Perched Eyewear

Pantani was a master at reading the V-Meter

There is something supremely Fantastic about a precisely manicured set of sunglasses, particularly when they’re not being used for their intended purpose. Certainly, there are times when circumstance offer no alternative but to actually look through them, but for the most part, it’s a bit pedestrian to use sunglasses for seeing through.

I’ve been obsessed with sunglasses since I was a kid; photos of the Smallest Frank Imaginable feature sunglasses in close proximity, usually perched atop my head of wavy brown hair and rarely anywhere near my eyes. As an athlete, sunglasses have never been far adrift, whether in skiing or cycling, and – in all seriousness – for good reason: eyes are fragile things that should be protected.

Nevertheless, whenever any kind of effort is required, I quickly find myself moving the eyeglasses away from my eyes in an almost claustrophobic panic, and it wasn’t until my most recent ride up Haleakala in my 30th year of sport that the reason for this occurred to me. As athletes, we are hugely dependent on our vision to gauge our effort.

Flying by V-Meter only, our vision offers a constant feedback loop to how near the Man with the Hammer has wandered, and how sharp his blow might be. As we approach sustained effort at or above aerobic threshold, one of the early signs of Diminishing V Returns is the flushing of blood from our cheeks followed closely by the tunneling of our vision. Color is desaturated, then the sides box in a bit, then things get a bit narrow and blurry, and after that the deterioration is not normally recalled in any degree of clarity.

It struck me like a bolt from Merckx’s Crankset: when my vision starts to go, I tear away my sunglasses in order to gauge my effort without the abstraction of the lens. So long as I ride within myself, the shades happily cover my eyes; when I am at my limit, they come off and pop onto the helmet. I used to blame claustrophobia, now I realize it is a matter of gaining an unobstructed view on the V-Meter.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next Insight on Rule #34 »

Previous « Frank vs. The Volcano: Part Trois

View Comments

eightzero says:

Jan 11 2013 at 1:45 pm

@PeakInTwoYears

@eightzero

I present my case.

The rest of us must stay mindful that you trained in law, not medicine.

Shari and I are hoping that you and the Mrs/Dr will join us on Hurricane Ridge this summer. Could be big fun sur la montagne and back at the ranch afterwards.

We are making it a priority!
sthilzy says:

Jan 11 2013 at 2:04 pm

@VeloVita

@Chris

@ChrisO I think a lot of it comes down to head shape. If you've got the wrong shape head a cycling cap is never going to look good whether it's worn by itself or with a helmet.

I've certainly got the wrong shaped head as cycling caps just make my head look more like a bowling ball. (This isn't necessarily a bad thing as in the past when i was younger and somewhat more impressionable it probably saved from some disastrous head wear faux pas)

Or the type of cap - I look like an utter tool in a three panel cap (like a Pace or Rapha), but much better in a four panel cap (Santini or Nalini) As far as looking good under a helmet, I think it also depends on the helmet. I think Lazer's design with the cutout in the front goes a long way to accommodating a cap.

Head shape and lack of hair has got me to get a cap under the helmet. Vent tans on top of the noggin is not a good look. Wasn't aware of the panelling. May have to take helmet into LBS to try on a cap.
Jan'sLarder says:

Jan 11 2013 at 2:23 pm

@anthony

O, Pantani. I don't care how much Blow and EPO were in practice. You were fucking magic!!! End of story.

A-Merckx to that. Likely we'll never see the likes again. More's the pity
the Engine says:

Jan 11 2013 at 3:34 pm

@Ron

I scored some Uvex's (not Crows, forget the model name) on a sale site for $25 last year. Three sets of lenses. The nosepiece and ear socks are nowhere near as nice as Oakleys, nor the optics, but I was after a pair to wear when cross riding/racing that I won't might get bashed up on trees, barriers, or the ground. I can deal with a scraped face but not broken $300 shades.

Oh, and as for he nose piece, yup, mine cracked. The trick is to order four of them, put one each on the lenses and not move them, plus have one as backup. I think they cost a $1.50 and shipping was around $5 anyway, so it made more sense.

And, I had a broken pair of Oakelys that were well beyond warranty. I stripped the ear socks off, pulled them over the Uvex socks and now they stay in place much better.

Nate - nice! Tall & medium twins!!

Exactly my experience on the Uvex's and I have them for the same reason - I should probably send of for a bag of nose pieces then.
the Engine says:

Jan 13 2013 at 1:44 pm

Il Pirata would have been 43 today - what a bloody waste...
frank says:

Jan 16 2013 at 10:38 am

@chiasticon

like others, i wear prescription lenses (with jawbones), hate inserts and don't work well with contacts. before i had proper cycling glasses, i just rode with my normal everyday glasses (see: fignon, laurent). so the idea of taking them off for any particular reason never really occurred to me. as such, i got used to riding with them always on and so that's what i do.

i wish i could take advantage of the awesome transition lenses like frank has in his radarlocks; those really are great all-around lenses. but the black iridium/clear option (where it's black iridium coated but does fade to 100% clear as well) is also available for jawbones, but not for prescription lenses. the only options are transitions (either straight-up brown or black tint) or iridium transitions, which only fade to about 40-60% light transmission, depending on the tint. neither of which i'm happy with. as such, if i'm setting out on a late ride (normal this time of year) i have to bring my clear lenses along and stop to change mid-way. annoying, yes (especially when it's cold and your body temp drops). but being able to see is good too.

To the point regarding the transition lenses - 1st world problems for sure, but they are amazingly good - I rode with them at night and at the top of Haleakala in 100% sunlight and they were perfect both times. Amazing. I had photosensitive lenses in my old Briko Shots, but they did not adjust very much; this technology has really come along.

I'll probably replace my clear lense with a pair of polarized lenses at some point, as I love the brown tint, but these are really one-stop-wonder lenses.

(I wear glasses as well, but my eyes are not so bad that I can't go without when riding. I am OK bumping into the odd object if I must.)
frank says:

Jan 16 2013 at 11:14 am

@eightzero, @Mikael Liddy, @Nate

All you bastards look fantastic. Brings a tear to mine eye.
frank says:

Jan 16 2013 at 11:15 am

@Nate

Lazers and caps works great. More evidence, @Dave_R and myself cogaling

My sunnies don't do very well in the vents but I can live with that.

Also, a well placed cap brim can keep a lot of rain off your lenses.

I had and loved my Lazer - superb helmets. But the vent issue was a deal breaker for me, and I've been very happy with my Bell since then.

I do think the Lazer looks fantastic with the cap. Makes sense that a Belgian helmet company would look after that kind of detail.
Ron says:

Jan 16 2013 at 11:20 am

Frank - what lenses do you have in your Radars? Looks like the Path, as just lenses, (I have the frames already) only come in the Clear Black Iridium Photochromic. If that is what you have and they work in those two extremes, those might be added to my "need" instead of "want" list. $85 isn't outrageous, especially if they can work that well in those two opposite conditions.

FYI I have the VR28 polarized. Very nice lenses for all but fullest sun and they work for me down to dusk and nearly dark. They're a brown-ish tint. I really like them & thought they were an all-arounder until these photochromes came to my attention.
Ron says:

Jan 16 2013 at 11:21 am

Check that, $165 for the Path lenses in Black photochromic. So maybe they're on the "want" list after all!