Categories: La Vie VelominatusThe HardmenThe RulesUnforgettable Rides

La Vie Velominatus: The Gifts of Rule #9

An early morning ride on Keepers Tour 2013. Photo: Brett Kennedy

We’re not really supposed to have favorites, but everyone does. Just ask your parents. So while I’m not supposed to have a favorite, I do, and its Rule #9.

Bad weather immediately separates the wheat from the chaff, and so the weekend warriors stay indoors and leave the roads to the devout. I talk most often about riding in the rain, with the drops of water dripping from my cap acting as my personal metronome as I carve a path through the chaos towards a happier self. But sunny days in the cold can provide their own glorious solitude.

On Keepers Tour 2013, we had unseasonably cold weather, and some of the best rides we had were early morning spins before heading off to the races. With the sun hanging low over the horizon, we rode through our frozen breath, together in close formation yet each of us retreating inward as we steeled ourselves against the cold. These were beautiful, peaceful rides.

This winter in Seattle has been relatively dry, but also cold. On the weekends, the country roads are nearly deserted and all that is left is the silent, still air and the burning of cold air as it enters my lungs. On a recent solo ride on Whidbey Island, I spun down the same roads which only a few months earlier I had ridden with friends on the annual Whidbey Island Cogal. The island seems a full place then, now it looked like an entirely different place – empty and beautiful.

There is something about the way the bike handles in the cold. The tires are firmer, the rubber less supple. The connection between bicycle and road seems simultaneously harsher and more fragile than in the warm. The muscles in my arms and hands are also more twitchy in the cold. Not twitchy like I can suddenly sprint; twitchy like I have difficulty controlling what they are doing – where normally I pride myself on holding a clean line, in the cold a small bump in the road might trigger a spasm that sends the bike into a wobble. Its an exciting way to ride.

Quiet roads, a still harbor, an early morning sunrise; these are the gifts reserved for those who ventured out when others stay in. These are the gifts of Rule #9.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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Souleur says:

Jan 7 2014 at 9:14 am

excellent points

with this 'winter vortex' or something or other, i need reminded that there is still room for badasses out there, and as we move into the week, with the muck and mire, without fenders, it will be us badass's ridin

and without these conditions, we would never realize the joy of the souplesse days of july
The Oracle says:

Jan 7 2014 at 9:27 am

@wiscot

@The Oracle

Whoops, just saw the note re: metric, and of course you are right. That would be negative 29 C outside, and 2 C in my basement.

Need to get you and Teleguy57 on a cogal this year. I've found some new roads that are great.

Works for me, my friend. Last year was a down year with very little riding due to new baby, moving, new job, new house, etc. I'm looking forward to putting in a lot of kilometers this summer to make up for it!
frank says:

Jan 7 2014 at 9:28 am

@Chris

@brett That was a ride that I'll always look back on as being magical. I was beginning to feel quite good by the end of it and could have happily carried on. 20km in and I was still hurting.

Although, the farm fresh eggs in croissants when we got back to the gite were perhaps just as magical.

Seriously, wasn't that the best? We had another couple of those rides that week for reasons that escape me at the moment because we normally had a ride planned for the day. But those early morning rides were fantastic memories.

Alex, on his fucking 9cm stem, in the drops toujours, just pedaling away on the front like a metronome. I love how he rides.
frank says:

Jan 7 2014 at 9:37 am

@PedallingTom

@frank

I realise my position on mudguards goes against your stance but I mostly overtake on my commute and so it is those I have just overtaken who would get a face-full of muddy grit to add to the humiliation of being passed by my heavy set commute bike. After all, they are badass for being out in those conditions and deserve some respect.

Who gives a fuck what you do on your commuter! I'm talking about your road bike here, my good man.

Anything goes on your around-town commuter bike. Take mine, for Merckx's sake.
frank says:

Jan 7 2014 at 9:44 am

@eenies

Can I suggest an addition to Rule #24? Speeds and distances shall be referred to and measured in kilometres and temperatures shall be referred to in Celcius.

One of the greatest victories of Velominati has been the near-universal switch to metric for temperature and weight discussions purely on the merits of Rule #24's stipulation that speeds and distances be measured this way.

It would be a shame to sully that victory by mandating the conversion - particularly since the US failed on at least one occasion to convert over.

Some things are not stipulated in The Rules, and we Keepers refer to them as the Disciple's Choice. These include such things as using metric across the board and riding in white socks.

@Mike_P

Let's try that again....Good morning, Rule #9

Fantastic. One of my favorite looks, oddly enough, is a winter Cycling cap turned around backwards.
PedallingTom says:

Jan 7 2014 at 10:01 am

@frank

Well if that's how it plays - my commuter is fine. In fact based on your commuter mine is very fine! What in Merckx name are those bars doing on a bike or maybe it's the angle?!
Steve-o says:

Jan 7 2014 at 10:07 am

Cold weather rides, wet weather rides, cold and wet weather rides - those special riders otherwise known as Velominati understand the rewards of Rule #9 rides. But darkness, roadside ice, and these crazy shoreline motorists on back roads limit my winter riding to daylight. But come Sunday, it'll be alright...
Teocalli says:

Jan 7 2014 at 10:15 am

@PedallingTom I think the bars are to improve the seating position for this......
thomas says:

Jan 7 2014 at 10:54 am

Holy seat post, Batman!
strathlubnaig says:

Jan 7 2014 at 11:48 am

@PedallingTom

@ChrisO

I'm sure you are very familiar with wet weather riding especially judging by the recent cogal report! I'm not moaning about other people's mudguards, simply stating that I think it's good manners to ride with functional ones some of the time. @scaler911"²s post reinforces the unwritten rules of many cycling clubs that mudguards should be used in the rain. I don't like spending my whole time on the back of the bunch in training either. This is good justification for another bike as I can't bring myself to put a fender on number 1!

@scaler911

Thanks for the illustration. I wonder what @strathlubnaig's fender would be called?

I think the li'l French fender number I have on right now would be called "selfish wanker"