La Vie Velominatus: The Gifts of Rule #9

An early morning ride on Keepers Tour 2013. Photo: Brett Kennedy

We’re not really supposed to have favorites, but everyone does. Just ask your parents. So while I’m not supposed to have a favorite, I do, and its Rule #9.

Bad weather immediately separates the wheat from the chaff, and so the weekend warriors stay indoors and leave the roads to the devout. I talk most often about riding in the rain, with the drops of water dripping from my cap acting as my personal metronome as I carve a path through the chaos towards a happier self. But sunny days in the cold can provide their own glorious solitude.

On Keepers Tour 2013, we had unseasonably cold weather, and some of the best rides we had were early morning spins before heading off to the races. With the sun hanging low over the horizon, we rode through our frozen breath, together in close formation yet each of us retreating inward as we steeled ourselves against the cold. These were beautiful, peaceful rides.

This winter in Seattle has been relatively dry, but also cold. On the weekends, the country roads are nearly deserted and all that is left is the silent, still air and the burning of cold air as it enters my lungs. On a recent solo ride on Whidbey Island, I spun down the same roads which only a few months earlier I had ridden with friends on the annual Whidbey Island Cogal. The island seems a full place then, now it looked like an entirely different place – empty and beautiful.

There is something about the way the bike handles in the cold. The tires are firmer, the rubber less supple. The connection between bicycle and road seems simultaneously harsher and more fragile than in the warm. The muscles in my arms and hands are also more twitchy in the cold. Not twitchy like I can suddenly sprint; twitchy like I have difficulty controlling what they are doing – where normally I pride myself on holding a clean line, in the cold a small bump in the road might trigger a spasm that sends the bike into a wobble. Its an exciting way to ride.

Quiet roads, a still harbor, an early morning sunrise; these are the gifts reserved for those who ventured out when others stay in. These are the gifts of Rule #9.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @wrongsideof40

    I'm new here (been reading for a while without posting any comments) so still learning the rules and not yet figured out my favourite. But I do enjoy riding in poor weather - I went out yesterday in the cold rain, and as I set off I muttered to myself, "there won't be many out today, only hard bastards!"

    Its tough for me to say I enjoy riding in bad weather.  I enjoy riding.  When in bad weather, it takes somewhere an hour or so into the ride to decide, "Hey I'm glad I didn't puss out and stay inside" ...and thus I find my enjoyment, the fact I'm alive, and out on my steed.

  • @wrongsideof40

    I'm new here (been reading for a while without posting any comments) so still learning the rules and not yet figured out my favourite. But I do enjoy riding in poor weather - I went out yesterday in the cold rain, and as I set off I muttered to myself, "there won't be many out today, only hard bastards!"

    You might be on the wrong side of 40, but it seems you're on the right side of figuring out what bad weather is. Cheers and welcome.

    @Chris

    @frank love the photo, looking very pro. Was that the morning of the Ronde?

    Might have been. I do have the look of someone who is pissed off at Alex for taking us down a cobbled track the day after riding Roubaix, don't I?

    I was punished yesterday on my first club run of the year...and I was rather unceremoniously dropped after the tea and cake break.

    Was the punishment having a fucking tea and cake break? You brits and your tea, Merxckxy-Merckxy.

    Rule #6 would have to be my favourite. Get that right and Rule #5, Rule #9 and Rule #10 fall into place. I'll need it in the morning, commuting starts again tomorrow and there's a bit of a wind going on out there at the moment.

    Ah, the morning commute, in rain or shine, is what keeps the "You can't fire me! I QUIT!" conversation a fantasy, not a reality.

  • @PeakInTwoYears

    @scaler911

    The rub, of course, is just getting out in the weather. Like hopping in the Pacific Ocean (the PNW part anyway), you just have to suck it up and dive in. Then once you're numb, everything else becomes fun.

    For weak, earth-bound mortals like me (not my VMH, who is divine) selecting the right kit for the ride is right up there with choosing your parents and avoiding unwanted pregnancies. Our New Year's Day ride was cold and damp, but we didn't suffer unduly from the conditions. Similarly, I've been sea kayaking a lot lately, including in sub-freezing air temps, including practicing self-rescues in very damn cold water. I'm not going to do that wearing Froome's new mesh teddy.

    That bewildering post was worth it just for the last line.

    @wiscot

    @strathlubnaig

    Kudos to you sir! I have family in Scotland and I hear the weather has been, to use the meteorologically-correct phrase, utter shite. Also no need to apologize for the mudguard - just good manners for winter riding in Scotia.

    As I wrote in my column for Cyclist a few months ago, chewing on a rooster tail is just the price you pay for the luxury of a draft. Don't like it? Go the front, don't demand others besmirch their magnificent steed with unnecessary accouterment.

  • @teleguy57

    @wiscot

    It's been a tad chilly here in WI the past few days. Got the first ride of the year in on Saturday - a cold, damp, windy 28 degrees. Needless to say I saw no other riders. Today was a Rule #9 for the books: with an outside windchill of around -40 degrees or so, I headed for the garage and the trainer. Merckx knows what the temp in there was but I could see my breath as clear as day. I'm thinking it was in the teens. Even with tights, jacket, gloves and a hat I got warm but not hot. It might not truly qualify for Rule #9, but in my book it does. Going outside was not an option, no matter how loud Rule #5 might be ringing in my ears.

    Supposed to be low 30s by the weekend. THAT'S riding weather!

    Amen, brother. Being a few miles north of you similar weather. Thu 2 Jan did some evening ski patrol training at the local hill west of Oshkosh at -7F. Today was 4F in my garage this a.m. so I'm in the basement on my rollers.

    Got outside Saturday 4 Jan as you did, and had the roads to myself. I took advantage of new pre-owned winter shoes and the great Showers Pass softshell trainer Santa left under my tree for a comfy 90 minutes. I felt quite proud of myself for picking the right day for my first 2014 outdoor ride...

    You kids. In my Minnesota ski racing days, I'd happily line up for a start in -10F wearing a spandex leotard with nothing for protection but some mole skin on my cheeks and a Peter-Heater down where it matters.

    And, because I was a superstitious bastard, I'd always race in my thin gloves. If you get cold, just go harder.

  • @frank

    As I wrote in my column for Cyclist a few months ago, chewing on a rooster tail is just the price you pay for the luxury of a draft. Don't like it? Go the front, don't demand others besmirch their magnificent steed with unnecessary accouterment.

    I like that statement very much.

  • @doubleR

    One of my favorite things about riding in the cold weather is the smell of burning firewood as I ride through residential areas.

    Ah yes, this is nice. My fondest memory of visiting Cesky Krumlov, CZ was that it was cold and the entire city smelled of burning wood!

  • @frank

    @El Cannon

     

     

    The bar tape is now black; what a shame that the photo was ruined with the yellow.

    In fairness to the yeller tape, if you'd kept it clean properly I don't think it would be nearly as bad as that large bidon.

    I love the banter on here, wait till I post a pick of my steed - I'm sure it's a serial offender - but I like the idea posted earlier that rule#9 is an escape clause, so I'll cling to that. I may need to make some changes for the summer though!

  • My personal challenge relative to Rule 9 isn't physical discomfort. It's that I hate a filthy bike. It's not that I dislike bicycle maintenance. It's that the sensory input of wet grit on my drivetrain makes me feel like a certain robot.

  • I'd just like to say it is gratifying to discuss bad weather riding with people who get it, revel in it, and don't shake their heads in bewilderment.  I suppose the same can be said for pretty much any topic here, but particularly this one.  It's nice to be understood.

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