Whenever something tries to be something it isn’t, you wind up getting into trouble. Those Cutlass Cruisers in the 70’s and 80’s with vinyl wood panelling weren’t fooling anyone. Neither are those linoleum tiles in my kitchen; not one person in history has ever mistaken them for being marble. And Lycra has never tricked anyone into believing it was a pair of jean shorts. Despite the extra effort to add a fly and pockets to them.
Which brings up an important point. Looking Pro is not the same as Looking Fantastic. They mostly just stumble into looking cool because they’re on their bikes so much that everything becomes natural for them. But Pros frequently look completely crap, often because their sponsors are paying them to wear something no one in their right mind would ever wear. Like denim-printed bib shorts. But sometimes, when you’re baller enough, you can pull off the most horrendous of kit and still Look Fantastic.
Pantani is the only rider on the long list of those who rode for Carrera who ever pulled off this look. Shit, he even pulled off the all-denim-print long sleeve jersey. He might even have special-ordered it, just to prove he could do it.
Don’t try this at home, kids. You are not this cool, and you can not pull off that look. Pencils down, class dismissed.
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
View Comments
@DaftPunk
If a "decade" means four years, then yes.
@Stephen
Unless your last name is "Roche", I'm going to go with, "fuck off"
@Barracuda
I remember the first time the VMH saw someone race in that kit, "Oh no! That guy crashed!"
I'm always amazed to see someone win a race in that kit. You'd think they'd know better.
@Oli
Agreed, but pointing that out in the article would have been too messy. In fact, Cuppucinno rocking it in the spotted jumper was possibly the high point.
@Oli
Fuck yeah faux jeans
@frank
+1 Frank!
I always imagined Roche, Pantani, and a host of other pros were deep down offended by the crappy ass design of the team jersey and faux denim shorts, pay day aside. But rather than cry as they had a post-stage massage, they instead inflicted pain upon the teams who had color-coordinated, well-styled kits. Except Fignon. See, he designed that nasty Castorama jersey/shorts combo. So he was personally offended by your smirk at his stylin', suspenders styled jersey. Thus, you must suffer.
Chapau Laurent! Now please, slow down.
You say messy, I say pedantic.
@Stephen
What the hell mate? You on your way to a clown convention or did you mistake this for an \altsubreddit?
Love the Darth Vaders though.
Total nonsense! One of the best looking kits ever!
@Stephen
You were either posting pictures of yourself dressed as a Mario Bros mushroom to random internet sites or you've missed every point ever made on this one.
Either way, it's quite a remarkable achievement. Chapeau.