Look Pro: Éclatant de Panache

Sur La Plaque. Photo via BikeRaceInfo.com" src="http://www.velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/1998-17-Pantani-Guerini-620x449.jpg" width="620" height="449" /> Pantani always moved Sur La Plaque. Photo via BikeRaceInfo.com

The Prophet was very clear on how best to ride an individual Time Trial; start as fast as possible and finish as fast as possible. As for the middle, his advice was to ride that as fast as possible.

The same can be said of climbing; as we covered in Part I and Part II of the Sur La Plaque series, the key to climbing well is to hit the bottom as hard as possible, and then move into the big ring as you go over the top in order to finish the climb as fast as possible. As for the middle section; well, hit that as hard as possible and focus on keeping your momentum going.

The trouble is with this pesky notion we have of “gauging our efforts”. Certainly, the perfectly measured climb would result in riding the whole of it à bloc before moving Sur La Plaque over the top, blast down the other side and – just as you hit escape velocity – explode spectacularly, using your perfectly honed LeMond Tuck to recover in time to crush it in the valley to the next climb where you repeat the process. Panache.

Panache is a dualistic thing; almost without exception do we admire it in others, and almost without exception are we too cowardly to hold it inside ourselves. Panache doesn’t speak of caution, or of measured action. It speaks of impulse – compulsion, even – to attack despite one’s better judgement. It speaks of throwing caution to the wind. It weighs heavy with the risk of exploding magnificently and trading angel’s wings for the devil’s anchor.

But those who venture freely into that realm have blown up so many times that it hardly features in their reasoning. Pain and climbing are inseparable;  what difference does it make if you blow up and suffer a bit more for a bit longer? And, should we blow up often enough, we will learn how to suffer through and push to the top with grace. And perhaps by that same grace, will we recover enough to try again on the next climb.

Vive la chance. Vive le Grimpeur. Vive la Vie Velominatus.

Exhibit A: The master of Panache, Marco Pantani. And the master of blowing with grace, Richard Virenque. For a prime example of how to blow up properly, jump to 2:00.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @frank FFS! Elite athletes? I've never timed getting my shoes on, but I'm pretty sure I could do it from scratch faster than that dicking around with them already on the pedals. Not to mention I'd have my shoes on and would be able to look where I;m going.

  • @frank

    @ChrisO

    I had an interesting insight into the Lance-lovers at the Abu Dhabi Triathlon recently. I was helping as a volunteer and for a part of the day was on the bike checkout as people collected their bikes after the race.

    I was hoping that by "volunteering" you were standing around alternating between prohibiting people from climbing on their bike at all and allowing key representatives and videoing them as they tried to mount their bikes.

    Everyone had a race tag around their wrist which we had to check against the bike number and cut off, so I looked at probably 500 wrists - I saw a lot of black, brown, blue and other colour bands but only one yellow. I even offered to cut it off for him.

    Brilliant.

    Shit balls, there must be some severely squashed testicles from those mounting techniques.

  • @graham d.m.

    @mouse

    @gregorio

    @graham d.m.

    Crap, Frank.....it's a great article, man. I'm convicted because I sheepishly was shopping for compact crank recently. This article was timely, loved "pain and climbing are inseperable". I thusly confess my sin, will keep the standard crank, HTFU and do hill repeats. Well written, mate.

    I confess to my new DA Group-san being compact. What was I thinking? I have repented by ordering new rings from praxis works. BTW occasionally blowing up on a climb builds character. Nice article.

    Whatever.

    Having a compact doesn't mean your wee wee is small.

    I agee, Mouse, it's not a manhood thing, simply: more teeth= more faster= more better. I was searching for a compact as an answer to my fatness and that is a ball check situation.

    Less teeth+higher cadence=more faster

  • @mouse

    @graham d.m.

    @mouse

    @gregorio

    @graham d.m.

    Crap, Frank.....it's a great article, man. I'm convicted because I sheepishly was shopping for compact crank recently. This article was timely, loved "pain and climbing are inseperable". I thusly confess my sin, will keep the standard crank, HTFU and do hill repeats. Well written, mate.

    I confess to my new DA Group-san being compact. What was I thinking? I have repented by ordering new rings from praxis works. BTW occasionally blowing up on a climb builds character. Nice article.

    Whatever.

    Having a compact doesn't mean your wee wee is small.

    I agee, Mouse, it's not a manhood thing, simply: more teeth= more faster= more better. I was searching for a compact as an answer to my fatness and that is a ball check situation.

    Less teeth+higher cadence=more faster

    That's true, and I say ride what you like, mate. I'm not a high cadence guy, more of a slogger. But that being said, I'm working on foot speed/cadence and with more teeth that will be fastest (but obviously still fat and slow).  For me, if I'm going hard it hurts no matter what, so I might as well turn more teeth, I guess.

  • @mouse

    @graham d.m.

    @mouse

    @gregorio

    @graham d.m.

    Crap, Frank.....it's a great article, man. I'm convicted because I sheepishly was shopping for compact crank recently. This article was timely, loved "pain and climbing are inseperable". I thusly confess my sin, will keep the standard crank, HTFU and do hill repeats. Well written, mate.

    I confess to my new DA Group-san being compact. What was I thinking? I have repented by ordering new rings from praxis works. BTW occasionally blowing up on a climb builds character. Nice article.

    Whatever.

    Having a compact doesn't mean your wee wee is small.

    I agee, Mouse, it's not a manhood thing, simply: more teeth= more faster= more better. I was searching for a compact as an answer to my fatness and that is a ball check situation.

    Less teeth+higher cadence=more faster

    Only if you're getting a blood trasfusion every week or two. The high cadence phenom is a relic of blood doping, matey. Its too hard on your cardio.

    What IS faster, though, is to ride at whatever cadence you body naturally finds in order to balance cardiovascular fitness and muscular fitness. Its different for everyone, and one is not better than the other unless it makes you personally go faster.

    (And really, if less teeth was faster, as you equation suggests, we'd all be riding 1 to 1 gear ratios.)

  • @frank

    @mouse

    @graham d.m.

    @mouse

    @gregorio

    @graham d.m.

    Crap, Frank.....it's a great article, man. I'm convicted because I sheepishly was shopping for compact crank recently. This article was timely, loved "pain and climbing are inseperable". I thusly confess my sin, will keep the standard crank, HTFU and do hill repeats. Well written, mate.

    I confess to my new DA Group-san being compact. What was I thinking? I have repented by ordering new rings from praxis works. BTW occasionally blowing up on a climb builds character. Nice article.

    Whatever.

    Having a compact doesn't mean your wee wee is small.

    I agee, Mouse, it's not a manhood thing, simply: more teeth= more faster= more better. I was searching for a compact as an answer to my fatness and that is a ball check situation.

    Less teeth+higher cadence=more faster

    Only if you're getting a blood trasfusion every week or two. The high cadence phenom is a relic of blood doping, matey. Its too hard on your cardio.

    What IS faster, though, is to ride at whatever cadence you body naturally finds in order to balance cardiovascular fitness and muscular fitness. Its different for everyone, and one is not better than the other unless it makes you personally go faster.

    (And really, if less teeth was faster, as you equation suggests, we'd all be riding 1 to 1 gear ratios.)

    I dislike the assumption that spinning = going slow, thus requiring a compact.  You can spin on a standard while going fast, something the shop I bought my bike from couldn't understand, so I am stuck with a compact where the little ring is useless for 98% of riding.

    Reading that it sounds like I am arguing against frank, which I am not, I'm arguing against compacts.

  • @DerHoggz

    That is true, spin a bigger gear at the same cadence = go mo fasta. Mo betta. But therein lies the rub.

    Being over or under-geared is always bad, and you just have to find the setup that works best for your individual needs. For example; I'm contemplating a compact for my gravel rig where climbing steep gravel roads would benefit from having a low enough gear.

    Aside from that, its just pride.

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