The Rules – They were never expected to become this well known. Nor was the list ever going to get this long or be taken this seriously. The Rules were first suggested as a few basic guidelines just to keep some basic civility and decorum on the road. But we took it too far (as we do everything) and now The Rules somehow define the Velominati, the inverse of intention. I use the communal ‘we’ as all Velominati share some responsibility in this.
In the spirit of a new year and spring cleaning, we have ourselves a Rules overhaul, with some New Rules to get excited about. Rule #38, #47, #79 and #81, we forget what those were, but we are moving on. For the official stone tablet version, refer to The Rules page.
- Rule #38 – Don’t leapfrog. Don’t ride back into a group that just passed you and ruin their pace, the pace that you couldn’t keep or you wouldn’t have been passed in the first place, and especially if you’ve been passed by women. Deal with it. You’ve been chicked, get used to it. There are a lot of badass women cyclists and they are going to pass your ass. @Jen gave us this Rule, suggested from personal experience and “getting chicked” is in the lexicon.
- Rule #47 – Drink Tripels, don’t ride triples. Brett was rightly offended by someone on our facebook page suggesting “kicking back with a Corona”. Everyone should be offended by this, even people who come from the land of that other great amber embarrassment, Fosters. I’m told they export it only, there should be a Rule about that. Thirty years ago we were all excited in the USA about the massive oil cans of this exotic Fosters, except you couldn’t chill it cold enough to not taste it and there was even more of it to be gagged down. Enough! Quality beer is a recovery drink. It makes you a better cyclist. OK, that’s a stretch, a happier cyclist then.
- Rule #79 – Fight for your town lines. From our good mate @Rob; “I was out yesterday to start the serious training for the 200 on 100. Met up with a group that were strong but have no race experience. We passed through at least five town lines and one double-point town/county line (nearby is my all time favorite triple – state/county/town). There should be a Rule that says something like “Town lines must be contested or at least faked if you’re not into it”. Every time we went through without sprinting, it was like, what a waste – this is boring! And I’m not even saying I would have won any.” When @Rob speaks, I listen, especially when sprinting is the subject. And yes, he would have won most of those sprints. I miss those rides: mindlessly rolling along when from behind, someone opens up a huge handlebar throwing sprint for a town line that everyone else is too dumb to realize is right up the road. Trash talking ensues, it’s all a way to pass the k’s, amuse each other and hone your sprint. Or nervously clicking ergo shifters so people close by hear and think you are preparing for the big shift and sprint as the town line approaches, forcing someone to do something as the ergo-clicker does nothing but rides along with a dumb grin on his face.
- Rule #81 – Don’t talk it up. Cruel but fair, tempting as it is to talk about one’s most recent road rash to one’s cycling buddies but really, if you are still riding, how bad could it have been? And it was probably your own fault so better to keep quiet. @MarkyMark gave us this gem then he disappeared. MarkyMark come back, you’re famous now.
- Rule #88 – Don’t surge. A rule concerning the mechanics of group riding: when in a paceline, ride the tempo, before you tire, pull off, slow enough to drift to the back as the line ride through. It’s not rocket science, impress people by keeping the pace, not upping the speed when you get to the front. Thanks to John Perry, Sydney Cycling Club for Rule #88.
So there you have it, a slew of new Rules for you to meditate on, discuss amongst yourselves, and of course, Obey.
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This is the best I've tasted in a long while... brewed by a Dane living in NZ, a one-man operation that cleaned up at the BrewNZ awards (or something like that). Amazing hopiness, fruity and malty to boot, with a 7% kick. 8 Wired
He also has just released a Belgian Quadruple, 10% and the most drinkable Belgian I've tried. One bottle and you're history. (Although I did manage to get down a Saison after it...)
@Calmante
Let me get this straight. You start off saying arguing over beer is idiotic, then proceed to make the world's most grandios beer argument claim in the history of the world ever.
Not to mention how fucking wrong it is. Sam Adams is good enough to drink while waiting at an airport, but there is absolutely nothing remarkable about it. You don't even have to go to a microbrew to get something better. Try Red Hook, just to name one.
Next thing you'll do is declare that you love this site except that you think The Rules, The Articles, and the posts are useless.
Oh, wait...
@Sam
I am by no means an authority on this subject. I was at best a mid-packer Cat 3 in New Enlgand back in the early '90's. There are a ton of guys around here who know way more than I do.
But, that being said, not knowing what the hell I was talking about never stopped me before.
Here are my humble and probably worthless ideas on the subject: Yes to both of the ideas that you had. You have to do tons of miles, in all honesty a few years of tons of miles have to be in your legs before you can really hang after 120 to 150 k's with a lot of climbing at race pace(or even 200 k if you are in the Pro/1/2 Cats.
I currently ride only four times a week b/c of wife/kids/work (and have no true regrets either I might add!) but I try to do at least one long ride a week of 3 to 6 hours, one high intensity interval/hill repeat ride of around 1.5 hours (including warm up and cool down) and two moderate-to-easy rides of 1.5 to 2 hours. That is an ideal week for me. When I was a young punk I rode 6 days a week, with an extra interval day and another 2 hour day thrown in (currently 40 years old and even if I had the time I would no longer do that training, I do NOT recover like I used to).
As for hydration, on the longer races you need someone to hand up a bottle to you in the feed zones. I try to drink one bottle of fluid per hour of racing, usually alternating one heed/gatorade/what-have-you with one of just water.
Gu's every half hour with something more substantial every hour while racing.
Like I said, I was never beyond a Cat 3 but I do LOVE road racing. I am sure that others will have better advice than mine.
My next race is in 4 weeks. It's a 125 k race with 32 k of gravel and dirt roads. It will be AWESOME!!! Praying for rain!
@frank
What Frank said............
all this beer talk reminds me. where's my damn v-pint. I erhhhnt it! the old fashioned way, as John houseman used to say.
@Joshua
The trick will be managing the convergence of Rule 47 with Rule 5 and avoiding a catastrophic violation of Rule 88.
http://www.velominati.com/general/beer-in-the-bidon-field-test-update/
Ooh la la
Anyone who thought the Rainbow Bands were going to struggle just got a spot of reassurance today - Cav smoked em in a pretty high powered field
Big bunch of classics boys, Gilbert, Faboo, Boonen, and Farrar for good measure - a flat course - Cav jollied along in Bernie and JAF's wheels like he was out for a Sunday roll, but then dissected the field like they weren't there at the end - pretty frickin impressive for someone languishing in bed for a few days with a fever - I assumed he had just rumbled round Day 1 and 2, but he's now 3rd overall, so he must have stayed with the bunch day 1 - he looks super relaxed, jumping from wheel to wheel at will - maybe the big train isn't that necessary after all??
Gowan ma san!!!!
I hate you.
@Dr C
And Tomeke was there for hs second "second" of the season to go with his two firsts! Man, I am so hopeful for this Classics season!!!
@frank
it certainly is rare! Did you make the phone call to the monks to receive a crate AND two glasses?? AND they sent it to the US and A? hmm, you must have connections...
I should stop reading the discussion about beer, there is no end to this. Me likes Belgian beer, one one beer, the other other beer. as Benjamin Franklin once said: "Beer is the living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Amen