Hair today, Ronde tomorrow. Photo Cor Vos
Rule #33 has to be one of the most discussed, deconstructed and divisive of all the Rules. I suppose there’s something about grown men who are non-professional cyclists taking a razor to their pins that brings out some strong emotions and it never fails to generate conversation and opinion. But really, who cares what someone else does to their own body and what business is it of ours to question or berate them for it?
The crux is that hairy legs on a road cyclist look like shit. There’s no getting away from it. On a mountain biker, hirsute guns may even look better, unless you’re an XC racer which is really just a roadie with suspension. If you’re a proponent of both, then you have a dilemna. Unless you’re the World Champion of course, then you can do what the hell you like. When Peter Sagan turned up for the early season with a healthy thatch on each of his pistons, the interwebs went into overdrive; how dare the Rainbow Jersey be sullied by such insolence. The counter argument being: awesome, he looks just like me now.
No, he doesn’t. Never will. No matter if he turned into a wookie overnight, he will never look like you/us. But what did happen back in the pre-Spring was he gave gave us all a clause, an out, a caveat for our own hairiness. Now, I’m not suggesting we all just throw away the razors and party like it’s 1969. That’s careless and irresponsible. But, having endured a winter marked by injury, laziness, lack of motivation and too much work, I am using Sags’ example as an adjunct to Rule #33. See, if you’re not actually riding a bike, and it’s cold, and your legs are mainly out of sight (or seen exclusively on a mountain bike), then why go to the trouble of keeping them smooth? It’s not like there’s any muscle, definition, or tan lines to show off.
So it’s decreed that under certain conditions, as outlined above, that the Sagan Clause can be invoked and a Cyclist––on temporary hiatus––can let their hair down until such time as some form of fitness returns or regular chamois time is being logged. Once you feel like a Cyclist again, then the razor can and must come out, because no matter how often you may try to convince yourself otherwise, that shit just don’t belong.
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@TheVid
It's simple, really. Tan lines? Shave. No tan lines? Do whatever you want, because you either don't need to shave or you don't "get" to shave (per @John H., who shares my thoughts on this).
Actually, serious question. For those without beards.
Do you have a face razor and a leg razor? Or do you wait until the blade in your face razor is almost worn, when it's last duty is to clean the guns?
Pray-tell is there a rule?
@Iandays
I can't imagine there's a rule for that, although I use a Gillette Mach 3 for the face and a lady's Venus for the legs. In the latter case it's shared with the wife and daughter anyway. Somehow the Venus seems softer of material and line and suits the legs better than the Mach 3.
Like everybody else (probably) I first shaved out of curiosity, tribalism etc and I still put razor to legs every other day throughout the year. Those original reasons for the ritual still apply, but I realise that I also enjoy the same feeling after leg shaving as after having shaved my face - just really clean and fresh - hence my doing it year round. Doesn't anybody else see it as a normal part of their ablutions now?
While living in California nearly thirty years ago, I enjoyed weather that never seemed to invoke Rule #9, and so smooth skin between ankle and hip was essential. Now I live in Ireland, where Rule #9 is like breathing. The hairier, the better, but still, I will never breach Rule #33.
@Steve Trice
Both but I do not use the Venus, since it's a rip-off but women fall for it (shrink it and pink it, as @Winnipegcyclechick would call it). The perceived smoothness of the Venus is caused by the soapy stuff attached to the blade, which makes it feel like it's smoother but is not. Just use regular shaving cream and throw away Gillette blue. And I do not use Baxter's.
But coming back to the topic: lot of hericy going on here... Rule #33 is clear. Some pro's have EPMS when they go out training but that does not allow us to follow suit.
There should only be one DEIS Natalis (birthday of the Velominatus, where DEIS stands for Decisive Evening In the Shower), and not annual recurrences which is what a Dies Natalis would be.
heresy!
@KogaLover
Shaving cream? I just use well lathered shower gel on the legs.
A month or so back there was a TV Ad with the usual long shapely legs demoing the latest greatest lady razor and weirdly I suddenly realised I was watching the razor........I need therapy.
@Iandays
One for the face, one for the legs. Same with aftershave lotions...baxters for the legs, various stuff for the face.
Started doing a winter ritual that my friend put me onto, stop shaving in winter....it ensures I wear full leg warmers on every ride (out of shame!)...encourages proper dressing in winter. When September comes round, shave em down!