Hair today, Ronde tomorrow. Photo Cor Vos
Rule #33 has to be one of the most discussed, deconstructed and divisive of all the Rules. I suppose there’s something about grown men who are non-professional cyclists taking a razor to their pins that brings out some strong emotions and it never fails to generate conversation and opinion. But really, who cares what someone else does to their own body and what business is it of ours to question or berate them for it?
The crux is that hairy legs on a road cyclist look like shit. There’s no getting away from it. On a mountain biker, hirsute guns may even look better, unless you’re an XC racer which is really just a roadie with suspension. If you’re a proponent of both, then you have a dilemna. Unless you’re the World Champion of course, then you can do what the hell you like. When Peter Sagan turned up for the early season with a healthy thatch on each of his pistons, the interwebs went into overdrive; how dare the Rainbow Jersey be sullied by such insolence. The counter argument being: awesome, he looks just like me now.
No, he doesn’t. Never will. No matter if he turned into a wookie overnight, he will never look like you/us. But what did happen back in the pre-Spring was he gave gave us all a clause, an out, a caveat for our own hairiness. Now, I’m not suggesting we all just throw away the razors and party like it’s 1969. That’s careless and irresponsible. But, having endured a winter marked by injury, laziness, lack of motivation and too much work, I am using Sags’ example as an adjunct to Rule #33. See, if you’re not actually riding a bike, and it’s cold, and your legs are mainly out of sight (or seen exclusively on a mountain bike), then why go to the trouble of keeping them smooth? It’s not like there’s any muscle, definition, or tan lines to show off.
So it’s decreed that under certain conditions, as outlined above, that the Sagan Clause can be invoked and a Cyclist––on temporary hiatus––can let their hair down until such time as some form of fitness returns or regular chamois time is being logged. Once you feel like a Cyclist again, then the razor can and must come out, because no matter how often you may try to convince yourself otherwise, that shit just don’t belong.
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
View Comments
Excellent timing on Rule 33 and Sagan. I believe being world champion allows him a pass. I shave until winter riding starts and then legs are covered up by then anyhow. I must say I think shaved legs certainly give a mental boost.. This past Sunday was the Hurricane ridge cogal and it was wet and cold, but as we hit the last 20 km into town we ramped it up, the legs were hurting but the power of the V was flowing through the freshly shaven legs and it was the mental boost I needed.
Well it's what we were taught in school... Australian school, so that's possibly the problem.
Some things may be tolerated if one happens to be the rightful wearer of the Rainbow Jersey. Are you the rightful wearer of the Rainbow Jersey? If not, you will shave your legs, you shall not wear white shoes and you shall not start olympic XCO race. Sure, let's call it Sagan clause, you can sport bushy pins if your name is Sagan and you have recently won the elite world championship race on the road...
I am shocked to even read about this type of fundamental violation on Velominati. Cyclingnews forum maybe, but not here...shocking.
The temperate rainy winters of the PNW demand year-round pin upkeep - hair mixed with road grime is no good when you're in and out of the rain, leg warmers are mostly pointless but for the rare clear/cold combo, and cleanup at the car is so much easier on slick skin. Serves as a good reminder to not sit too close to the dinner table also..
@Brett
Yep, it's always been "dilemma" here. You Aussies are so weird.
Seems like it's a worldwide source of debate or at least discussion between the two spellings.
The two m's just look really weird to me, so it's been ingrained for a long time. This is the first time I've ever seen or heard about it being spelled without an N!
@Brett
How is Oz vs the Rest of the World a world wide debate? (Insert punctuation abuse as required)
@Teocalli
It's like Captain Redbeard's debate on the necessity of a ship having a crew:
"Opinion is divided on the subject. All the other captains say it is. I say it isn't."
@Teocalli
Well maybe have a read of some of the articles I linked and you'll see.
This is from the first one...
"Are you one of the possibly millions of people worldwide that were taught to spell Dilemna with an 'N' ...
http://dilemna.info/
@Olli
I concur! This heresy is in direct conflict with Rule #1 and Rule #3. These types of exceptions will result in total anarchy. What is next non level handlebars? Unslammed stems? It is all crazy talk I tell 'ya!
The only exceptions to rules should be for those who wear rainbow or yellow jerseys. If one wearing said jerseys decides to willingly violate Rule #33 or Rule #42 that is acceptable. Otherwise, unshorn guns should be considered a rules violation regardless of circumstances.
Who is with me!?