Hair today, Ronde tomorrow. Photo Cor Vos
Rule #33 has to be one of the most discussed, deconstructed and divisive of all the Rules. I suppose there’s something about grown men who are non-professional cyclists taking a razor to their pins that brings out some strong emotions and it never fails to generate conversation and opinion. But really, who cares what someone else does to their own body and what business is it of ours to question or berate them for it?
The crux is that hairy legs on a road cyclist look like shit. There’s no getting away from it. On a mountain biker, hirsute guns may even look better, unless you’re an XC racer which is really just a roadie with suspension. If you’re a proponent of both, then you have a dilemna. Unless you’re the World Champion of course, then you can do what the hell you like. When Peter Sagan turned up for the early season with a healthy thatch on each of his pistons, the interwebs went into overdrive; how dare the Rainbow Jersey be sullied by such insolence. The counter argument being: awesome, he looks just like me now.
No, he doesn’t. Never will. No matter if he turned into a wookie overnight, he will never look like you/us. But what did happen back in the pre-Spring was he gave gave us all a clause, an out, a caveat for our own hairiness. Now, I’m not suggesting we all just throw away the razors and party like it’s 1969. That’s careless and irresponsible. But, having endured a winter marked by injury, laziness, lack of motivation and too much work, I am using Sags’ example as an adjunct to Rule #33. See, if you’re not actually riding a bike, and it’s cold, and your legs are mainly out of sight (or seen exclusively on a mountain bike), then why go to the trouble of keeping them smooth? It’s not like there’s any muscle, definition, or tan lines to show off.
So it’s decreed that under certain conditions, as outlined above, that the Sagan Clause can be invoked and a Cyclist––on temporary hiatus––can let their hair down until such time as some form of fitness returns or regular chamois time is being logged. Once you feel like a Cyclist again, then the razor can and must come out, because no matter how often you may try to convince yourself otherwise, that shit just don’t belong.
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That's my mantra. If you are shaving legs and riding like shiet than you feel like a real impostor. Once that corner gets turned, then looking down to see hairy legs is unacceptable. The hard part is knowing when the transition should happen.
this is an excellent point. shaven, obviously untrained legs, are silly. Sean Kelly guns with hair similarly aggravate aesthetic law.
Hear, Hear!
Having struggled with the lurking dagger of being a Velominada this season (certainly in terms of my overall participation in this discussion of the finer points of being a Cyclist) a good debate, sparked by a controversial post from a Keeper, has roused me from my slumber.
Indeed, I let the thatch grow during the dark months of winter, whilst the guns were shadowed behind full length gear in strict observance of Rule #82.
But once the weather dictated that it was time to ditch the leggings (Sun's out, guns out) I looked down upon my legs as they powered my machine forward I promptly thought to myself...
"Oh fuck! I've got to hurry up and shave. I look ridiculous."
Honestly, the reason I haven't shaved is that I don't feel I have earned it yet. It's a reward, not a punishment.
@Gianni
Au contraire ! It is precisely at these times of absentia that I need to shave my legs, to remind myself that I am a cyclist!
Back in the day, I remember seeing Doug Shapiro win a race out here in Redmond and noticed how his legs had that two-week stubble look going on - so pro! After much research, here's how I get the same look without any pesky tan or fitness to interfere:
Get a cheap hair trimmer, the kind with all the attachments.
Prune the gams, no attachment needed.
That's it. You either end up looking like a guy who hasn't shaved his legs for a while or someone with really light, short leg hair.
You're welcome.
I, on the other hand simply made a deal.
My wife loathes my clean shaven guns, so last season I made a deal with her.
when the season ends and I stop racing, I'll stop shaving.
deal, done, hands shook.
so I took up cyclocross and carried on shaving!
@Rob Taylor
I have brokered a similar deal with my VMH as I did not have the good sense to keep shaving in the "in between years" of being off the bike when I first met her. Perhaps I could have passed it off as alopecia cyclicus or some such. An ailment would garner me less sighs and eye rolling I'm sure.
Does your bike define you as a cyclist? Your kit? Your bitchin'-ass shades?
Of course not.
Your legs define you as a cyclist. Shaving is part of the process, and should be as natural as any part of your development as a cyclist. Even Peter the Great shaved as he got serious again this year and he friggin' invented the Sagan Clause.