Hair today, Ronde tomorrow. Photo Cor Vos
Rule #33 has to be one of the most discussed, deconstructed and divisive of all the Rules. I suppose there’s something about grown men who are non-professional cyclists taking a razor to their pins that brings out some strong emotions and it never fails to generate conversation and opinion. But really, who cares what someone else does to their own body and what business is it of ours to question or berate them for it?
The crux is that hairy legs on a road cyclist look like shit. There’s no getting away from it. On a mountain biker, hirsute guns may even look better, unless you’re an XC racer which is really just a roadie with suspension. If you’re a proponent of both, then you have a dilemna. Unless you’re the World Champion of course, then you can do what the hell you like. When Peter Sagan turned up for the early season with a healthy thatch on each of his pistons, the interwebs went into overdrive; how dare the Rainbow Jersey be sullied by such insolence. The counter argument being: awesome, he looks just like me now.
No, he doesn’t. Never will. No matter if he turned into a wookie overnight, he will never look like you/us. But what did happen back in the pre-Spring was he gave gave us all a clause, an out, a caveat for our own hairiness. Now, I’m not suggesting we all just throw away the razors and party like it’s 1969. That’s careless and irresponsible. But, having endured a winter marked by injury, laziness, lack of motivation and too much work, I am using Sags’ example as an adjunct to Rule #33. See, if you’re not actually riding a bike, and it’s cold, and your legs are mainly out of sight (or seen exclusively on a mountain bike), then why go to the trouble of keeping them smooth? It’s not like there’s any muscle, definition, or tan lines to show off.
So it’s decreed that under certain conditions, as outlined above, that the Sagan Clause can be invoked and a Cyclist––on temporary hiatus––can let their hair down until such time as some form of fitness returns or regular chamois time is being logged. Once you feel like a Cyclist again, then the razor can and must come out, because no matter how often you may try to convince yourself otherwise, that shit just don’t belong.
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View Comments
@Ccos
That particular line of demarcation is a (very) personal decision. One that is typically not discussed even among cyclists.
Perhaps this video at 0:26 will help.
@Ccos
Please refer to Bea comment #86 above.
We are only concerned with what one can/should see in public (carefully checking I have the "l" in there...).
@Rick
Oh god, I cannot un-see that. Hamster pants. Magic.
alopecia cyclicus is real, and this is funny as hell. i haven't shaved my legs in over ten years, but to this day, hair only grows on my kneecaps, between my quads above my knee, and on my toes of all places. just like my head: i shaved it for so long, by the time i decided to let it grow back, i was surprised to find out i was bald.
@Brett
This is hilarious! From the very page you've linked to: "The shocking truth turns out to be that Dilemna has NEVER EVER been spelled with an N...Worse yet, it's not even been given a passing mention as a possible alternative spelling in any dictionary going back hundreds of years!"
In my life I've read thousands and thousands of books, magazines, comics, plays, pamphlets, etc., etc. and have never ever seen dilemma spelled with an 'n', silent or otherwise. In fact this article and silly argument is the first time it's ever come up in my life.
I just thought you did it as a deliferate spolling mistale.
Shave em like you are in prison.
@Gianni
I've read here before… ya finish where your legs end. That seems simple enough for me to understand. But then again, I think someone also followed with, ya stop at your eyebrows. Well that'd sure make for a busy morning. The photo of this dude and his hamster pants I think is probably good evidence of someone with bigger issues around never being able to finish what they started. Magic ? Yeeesh.
@Oli
So how did millions get taught it then?
Are you one of the possibly millions of people worldwide that were taught to spell Dilemna with an ‘N’
I've never seen it spelled with a double M. Doesn't mean it's the wrong, but that's what I, and apparently millions of others, worldwide, were taught. I didn't make it up.
I work in the bike trade and have to ride both disciplines. I get more grief from mountain bikers about shaved legs, than I do from roadies about unshaven ones.
You can guess which look I choose to rock.
@Brett
It's more like millions (and how did they come up with that number? I've never, ever heard of it being spelled like that before and I've been around...) of you THINK it's what you were taught - some sort of cognitive dissonance, I'm guessing. Like the spelling of "Berenstain Bears" - many people (possibly even millions) are convinced it used to be spelled "Berenstein". Google that shit.
If you genuinely got taught it you were taught by a fucking idiot.