Hair today, Ronde tomorrow. Photo Cor Vos
Rule #33 has to be one of the most discussed, deconstructed and divisive of all the Rules. I suppose there’s something about grown men who are non-professional cyclists taking a razor to their pins that brings out some strong emotions and it never fails to generate conversation and opinion. But really, who cares what someone else does to their own body and what business is it of ours to question or berate them for it?
The crux is that hairy legs on a road cyclist look like shit. There’s no getting away from it. On a mountain biker, hirsute guns may even look better, unless you’re an XC racer which is really just a roadie with suspension. If you’re a proponent of both, then you have a dilemna. Unless you’re the World Champion of course, then you can do what the hell you like. When Peter Sagan turned up for the early season with a healthy thatch on each of his pistons, the interwebs went into overdrive; how dare the Rainbow Jersey be sullied by such insolence. The counter argument being: awesome, he looks just like me now.
No, he doesn’t. Never will. No matter if he turned into a wookie overnight, he will never look like you/us. But what did happen back in the pre-Spring was he gave gave us all a clause, an out, a caveat for our own hairiness. Now, I’m not suggesting we all just throw away the razors and party like it’s 1969. That’s careless and irresponsible. But, having endured a winter marked by injury, laziness, lack of motivation and too much work, I am using Sags’ example as an adjunct to Rule #33. See, if you’re not actually riding a bike, and it’s cold, and your legs are mainly out of sight (or seen exclusively on a mountain bike), then why go to the trouble of keeping them smooth? It’s not like there’s any muscle, definition, or tan lines to show off.
So it’s decreed that under certain conditions, as outlined above, that the Sagan Clause can be invoked and a Cyclist––on temporary hiatus––can let their hair down until such time as some form of fitness returns or regular chamois time is being logged. Once you feel like a Cyclist again, then the razor can and must come out, because no matter how often you may try to convince yourself otherwise, that shit just don’t belong.
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View Comments
@Gianni
As a perennial Rule 33 violator, this has oft been my thought process: "When I'm a little faster, then it will be time. Until then, it's added resistance to my training." or, it'll be "The rules allow it so long as I can dish out the hurt. When I'm a little faster, it won't matter."
So the follow up question to the Velominati is as Gianni has intimated, when should the transition occur?
@LA Dave
... Or Hair, hair!?
shaving is as simple as wanting to be able to massage your legs/or get a massage for those who can afford the everyday indulgence. Me I throw my legs up on the wall, shake my legs out- find those tight spots, work them out. hairy legs aint as easy to massage - that the simple reason...for me anyway.
Hair hair
@Ccos
As a result of photodynamic therapy (for medical reasons) on my legs, my guns are permanently hairless from mid thigh to below my ankles. I just have to shave my thighs to prevent "hamster pants."
i let my legs get hairy in the winter only. as a Sasquatch my Belgian leg warmers come in nice and full just in time for winter base miles.
Segan is a poor example, he doesn't really even know or care who Eddy Merckx is
Mrs Phil hates it when I shave. I argue its okay because I have better looking legs than her.
That said, I have to wait until her and the kids are out of the house before I go and get the clippers if I haven't done it for a while.
When doing maintenance, I have to deal with the two sets of inquisitive eyes of a 3 and a 1 year old. Explaining my guns to a 3 year old can really make you question yourself when you say it out loud.
@Rob Taylor
I doff my casquette.
If I had a wife she wouldn't dare comment on my leg shaving.