Hair today, Ronde tomorrow. Photo Cor Vos
Rule #33 has to be one of the most discussed, deconstructed and divisive of all the Rules. I suppose there’s something about grown men who are non-professional cyclists taking a razor to their pins that brings out some strong emotions and it never fails to generate conversation and opinion. But really, who cares what someone else does to their own body and what business is it of ours to question or berate them for it?
The crux is that hairy legs on a road cyclist look like shit. There’s no getting away from it. On a mountain biker, hirsute guns may even look better, unless you’re an XC racer which is really just a roadie with suspension. If you’re a proponent of both, then you have a dilemna. Unless you’re the World Champion of course, then you can do what the hell you like. When Peter Sagan turned up for the early season with a healthy thatch on each of his pistons, the interwebs went into overdrive; how dare the Rainbow Jersey be sullied by such insolence. The counter argument being: awesome, he looks just like me now.
No, he doesn’t. Never will. No matter if he turned into a wookie overnight, he will never look like you/us. But what did happen back in the pre-Spring was he gave gave us all a clause, an out, a caveat for our own hairiness. Now, I’m not suggesting we all just throw away the razors and party like it’s 1969. That’s careless and irresponsible. But, having endured a winter marked by injury, laziness, lack of motivation and too much work, I am using Sags’ example as an adjunct to Rule #33. See, if you’re not actually riding a bike, and it’s cold, and your legs are mainly out of sight (or seen exclusively on a mountain bike), then why go to the trouble of keeping them smooth? It’s not like there’s any muscle, definition, or tan lines to show off.
So it’s decreed that under certain conditions, as outlined above, that the Sagan Clause can be invoked and a Cyclist––on temporary hiatus––can let their hair down until such time as some form of fitness returns or regular chamois time is being logged. Once you feel like a Cyclist again, then the razor can and must come out, because no matter how often you may try to convince yourself otherwise, that shit just don’t belong.
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@Teocalli
I think an online game of Mornington Crescent on Velominati is a step too far.
@Teocalli
Probably easiest to just watch Fight Club but...... https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Fight_Club_(film) -
@RobSandy
You definitely do NOT want hairy legs on the track.
What a timely article! Just shaved the guns this morning. I find about every 3-4 days max does the trick. Just got back from a couple of weeks vacation when shaving the guns wasn't really possible. Drove me crazy to have hairy legs and they looked like shit.First day home, shaved away and normality reigned again.
I use one good razor for the face and a 5-blader from the dollar store (2 for a buck) on the guns plus Barbasol shaving cream.
Sagan can do what he likes. Clearly didn't hamper his season one bit.
@Iandays
I do have a beard, but I shave my neck (I'd look like a railroad hobo otherwise) and use the same razor for legs and face. Either Mach 3 or Dollar Shave Club 4-bladed. Cremo Cream has been my favorite for a few years now.
Just started shaving my arms too this season. I figured the aero gains there negate my Rule #50 violation.
I used to let the hair grow out in the winter, but now that I've moved back to the land of perpetual good training weather I plan to keep the guns shaved year round from now on.
Nice one, Brett! Got a laugh out of the "dilemna" typo, as I'm a pretty big fan of the show Trailer Park Boys and Ricky's malapropisms and/or invented words crack me up.
I just found myself thinking the other day if an electric shaver for the Guns is a good or bad idea? If Roger's soigneur used one on his impressive guns, why can't I?
Also, there is no denying Sagan is an Awesome Slovakian Guy. But, as a life-long ice hockey player and fan and being much more recent to cycling...the NHL is packed with them. Hossa and Gaborik are fucking bonkers. Pavol Demitra, RIP. What a solid two-way player. And as a Sabres fan...it was pretty fun having a guy on the team named Satan (Miroslav).
@Ron
Dilemna is not a typo. Neither is colour, tyre, or aluminium.
@Brett
Dilemna is not a typo? Is it a word? Never heard or seen it before, neither has my dictionary.
@Gianni
A quick google reveals ........
the origin of the word is from the Greek word DI meaning two, and LEMMA meaning propositions or alternatives.
So the correct spelling of the word is definitely 'Dilemma' ...and always has been...always...
By the way, we blame the Velominati for the now-frequent usage of 'guns' for legs. To old-timers, this is anathema. Guns = arms (in Australasia). Guns = guns in the US. 'Pins' is ok, but 'guns' is just stupidly confusing. How about 'legs'?